Does anyone really give a shit about others?

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brat17

MyPTSD Pro
I read many forums that are very specific. Some of the topics get way over my head...for where I am now. I am just wondering if anyone really cares about supporting anyone else, seems to always be a motive ( compare selves, one up, more knowledge, got the answer if you would just follow instructions, et) Does anyone ever just give a damn about someone who is in severe pain at the time (different times for all of us) I have come on this site when I was feeling good and had good to give. Everything I found is topic driven. I have come here feeling really shitty, and feel like I dont belongs. Is there a room to help others feel like they belong? Is there a place for those with a low mood? I know things have changed here over the past couple of years. Helping others is the best way to feel better about ourselves. Yet is there a place for those who dont matter...who dont have a story...or a category...or a specific problem....just feeling like shit today....which could be worse tomorrow,.....and eventually feeling the end.
 

ms spock

Sponsor
Yes! I care very much about others!

I try to give back when I can. I am in and out of hospital with my Father-In-Law at the moment. he is taking all my attention. So sometimes I have something to give and sometimes I am pushing myself to do more in the world whilst preparing to work more.
 

digger

Sponsor
Yet is there a place for those...//...who dont have a story...or a category...or a specific problem.
Do you have a diary here @brat17? If not, I'd suggest maybe starting one and seeing how that works out for you.
I don't think it's a case of people not giving a shit, but more that when people are posting in the different subforums, they are generally looking for feedback, advice and to be able to explore and challenge and problem solve what they're feeling, or where they're at.
If you're looking more for somewhere to vent, let off steam, or just somewhere to be where you are at and receive support for that, then I think a diary could really work for you, as responses in diaries tend to be a lot more of the 'I hear you' type and less directive than other types of thread. Maybe take a look at some of the diaries of other members and see what you think. A lot of people use their diaries here to post about day to day stuff and to feel heard in that, which I think might help with what you're looking for.
 
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Lionheart

Sponsor
Yes, I very much "give a shit" about others although I may not always know what to say to someone. Sometimes I will stay quiet out of concern for making the problem worse, and fear of confusing the issue which I sometimes do because of "Fibro fog"/mind fog, and difficulty with reading comprehension.

However, having said that, I speak from my heart and I genuinely care about helping others. I may not be as intelligent as some of the others who respond to a thread, but I am genuine and sincere. Usually, I am a bit offended when my motives are questioned, tho I assume you have had an unhelpful experience or two on the site and that makes me feel sad. I do not have all of the answers however, I try to give others hope and offer them the benefit of my experience(s).

I know that, for myself, I mostly wish to know that I am not all alone...that there are others who care or who can relate to my problem or issue. I don't expect others to fix me or to solve my problems, I simply want to connect to my peers and to have friends who care.
 

Justmehere

Sponsor
I believe there can be something intangibly helpful about another person being present in pain, without an agenda, and sometimes even without words. Being there, really *there* for someone can sometimes help make dark moments more endurable. I’m not sure if this maybe in the realm of the kind of support you are referencing and seeking and finding lacking. That kind of support can be especially hard to find online. That kind of support tends to be communicated non-verbally and online communications are inherently verbal and language based. Online communications inherently tend to go towards certain types of support. There are times in my life where I want connection and support but can’t figure out how and when and where to connect to get that kind of support. It’s a painful and lonely place to be in when already feeling down and hopeless.

There are plenty of people and things on the interwebs that I don’t respond to and it has *nothing* to do with my level of care and concern. There are so many other reasons why...

That all being said, I hear you. Your life, your story, (and by “story” I mean even the simple reality of the pain and low mood you feel right now) matters greatly, even if it can’t be neatly put into words or doesn’t get the kinds of support you are looking for online. Don’t let anything persuade you it has to do with your value. Online communications will fail. Peers and other supporters will fail. I’m not stating that’s ok, but rather that it has nothing to do with your value or how much people care.

Listening.
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
I appreciate what every on of you have had to say, and you are ALL right, every one of you. Diary is probably good idea....at least a good possibility. I know you are all caring people...I just cant even express my thoughts/feelings accurately these days.
Justmehere is so correct that some things you cant get on line.
I am really sorry how I presented this post because I know how many caring people there are. I care, yet sometimes just dont know how to respond.

I live in a pretty small city without the best of healthcare. One hospital is closing and letting 1200 employees go. One of them is my husband. Our health care has been below standard and over the past 90 day, all of our doctors have closed their offices. We cant get prescription refills or anything. Pregnant women have been left without an obstetrician. ER closed a few weeks ago. So while we still have insurance this month, there is no treatment until the drs find new buildings and get their practices up and running. This hospital is the only mental health crisis unit for 90 miles and the only adolescent unit in 200 miles. The other hospitals ER is not equipped to deal with mental health issues even in their ER. (a patient committed suicide with a gun after waiting 4 hours to see a dr.)

Everyday, social media is reporting more stories and its evident how people are going to suffer through this. Being a person with so many health issues myself, it feels overwhelming right now. Im so full of NSAIDS for pain because of our current situation of pain pills in US that people that need them cant get them even when we did have drs. Meanwhile, I am trying to support my husband and not be a burden as he is worried for our future. He has been employed for 40 yrs here and cant get Medicare for another year. They tell us monthly health insurance will cost $2000.

I apologize for the way I addressed this post. When I re-read, it really isn't much about what I meant to say.
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
((( @brat17 ))) ?
I’m sorry you are hurting and losing access to health care! Horrible timing... though there’s never a good time for such upheaval.
I know that I am guilty of jumping in and offering advice and thoughts when really, it’s offering to “sit with” someone in the pain that is most valuable. I’m going to remember to do that.
I hope you are doing better ?
 

brat17

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you AngelkeeperJ, but I was over reacting to the facts of life that are not about this site, or any social site. I suppose since I isolate a lot it makes it worse. I have had GAD the past few weeks. Thats life. You are right though, just sitting with someone is so valuable.
 
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