Does it ever gets better?

mxmiserable

New Here
i don't know how should i feel. c-pstd has been around the corner my whole life and im just tired. but the most recent abuser on my life has been the one who has taken more time on my head than the rest of them all. not because she did the worst things, but because how much i loved her and cared for her. and my question is: does it ever, genuinely gets better? i feel so stuck in the time. the last day of this month will be a year since we broke up — but not since everything's was over. and this year I've learnt so many things, don't mind me, but at the same time i feel so... lost? stupid? because i feel like it's never going to go away. i started therapy that didn't help for much to the topic since my therapist kinda didn't know what to do with me, and now im about to start help again with a new therapist trauma informed. i should feel happy, and don't get me wrong, i am, but at the same time i can't feel but feel completely scared. terrified. terrified that the treatment won't work with me, terrified that even after getting all that help, this will never go away. i know it never fully won't. and that's so.. tough to accept. i keep having nightmares, everyday, feeling her here with me. and it's been so long, i should be over everything that happened, but im not. im scared as a little kid just as the day she left. im over her, but im not over all the trauma she left with me. it was too much, it is too much. everything feels unbearable and i wish i could get rest from the topic but all i do is repeating the same thoughts and events on my mind over and over again. i want a day, JUST A DAY without thinking about the topic. i want to feel like myself again.
 
It does get better. I worked hard for years and it got better. A trauma therapist is a great way to to heal and worked well for me. You can't say you should be happy, or over something. It is over when it's over and not before. Why did your therapist not know what to do with you? That sounds like the therapist's problem, not a problem with you. Good luck with the new therapist.
 
It takes time and trauma informed treatment, but yes things can definitely improve. Some clinicians without experience working with trauma can feel stuck themselves in how to best help, though most if that’s the case will say they don’t have enough experience with x and offer to recommend or source someone who is, hopefully something like this happened and the new therapist is helpful. Give it time, and whilst there’s cliches about getting over things, it’s not that simple anyway and with trauma and cptsd it takes help and support, not just time. Hang in there
 
It does get better. I worked hard for years and it got better. A trauma therapist is a great way to to heal and worked well for me. You can't say you should be happy, or over something. It is over when it's over and not before. Why did your therapist not know what to do with you? That sounds like the therapist's problem, not a problem with you. Good luck with the new therapist.
I'm so glad it has gotten better for you throughout the time ^^ I think she just didn't know how to help or was trained to do so, I believe she had the best intentions with me but she wasn't able to help me and often said very out of touch things. I hope I can find someone who accommodates me and makes me feel comfortable. Thanks for the good wishes!

It takes time and trauma informed treatment, but yes things can definitely improve. Some clinicians without experience working with trauma can feel stuck themselves in how to best help, though most if that’s the case will say they don’t have enough experience with x and offer to recommend or source someone who is, hopefully something like this happened and the new therapist is helpful. Give it time, and whilst there’s cliches about getting over things, it’s not that simple anyway and with trauma and cptsd it takes help and support, not just time. Hang in there
Thanks for not getting caught in the cliché that "time heals it all" like it's some kind of magical spell that makes everything perfect again. I appreciate a realistic, not-sugar-coated and honest advice. I believe that I can have better resources now to get the help I need than I did back in the past :) thanks for your reply
 
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