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Does it replay over and over with physical sensations and all?

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by SpiritSong, May 10, 2018.

  1. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong I love flowers! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I am wondering if you feel it physically when you have flashbacks and triggers? I seem to.

    I will all of a sudden feel the sensations, even though I was not thinking of sex or wanting it or anything of the sort. I might be reading something about plants and gardening and all of a sudden I feel in my body what happened years and years ago!

    I just want to know that I am not alone, that this happens to someone else too! Does it?
     
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  3. Hopeforlife

    Hopeforlife Active Member

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    For me yes sometimes. During my childhood I froze a lot so sometimes the flashbacks are a little patchy. But I do feel physical pain and I also feel the ‘frozen’ tense feeling like my muscles constrict and I don’t remember to breath just exactly how I responded during the trauma. If I have an intense day of flashbacks my body physically aches. Anxiety is at its peak. It’s tough, real tough.
     
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  4. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    Not my sexual assaults, but I have flashbacks of other trauma. How many senses are involved varies.

    I’m mostly prone to the movie-style waking-nightmare style flashbacks where everything is present. But I also get single sense flashbacks. Most commonly smells or pain, sometimes sights/sound/touch/emotions.
     
    AliciaEff, Sietz, Mee and 1 other person like this.
  5. Mee

    Mee Well-Known Member

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    Two parts of my sexual asset yes.

    The other things I ’feel’ are the ’sweet’ bits. I remain confused really over what was truth and what was lie. I think mmy mind and body them over and feel them to try and look for ’tells’ of lies/ deception. I think this happens because my mind thinks if it can ’spot ’ them I won’t be fooled by them again. The bad stuff I can process more easily , it's the good stuff that confuses me more really .
     
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  6. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

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    Can you elaborate?
     
  7. Mee

    Mee Well-Known Member

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    I am not sure. Not sure if it will make sense. I do not want to say too much.


    I think in What I consider my trigger incident is that the element if betrayal was not small. The parts that i felt safe and loved either weren’t real and the extent of crossover of that and the rape aren’t clear. There was involvement but... How much I don’t know and never will. the police the rape advocates my therapist all have ’a bad feeling’ about what I fear: the police most vociferously said what they feared and it was what I did to; but it's unprovable. So reviewing over where I put my trust and affection is haunting. I find my self crying after this often, but numb.

    The bits of the sexual assault I revisit physically ? Did you mean that? I keenly remember waking up to it.
    Sometimes as I am about to fall asleep I feel ’that’ unwanted touch for a moment. Sometimes when I am about to relax. The other part I remember is when I realised it wasn’g going to stop and I decided to comply to hasten it. When ever I do things like clear the shower drain or clean the toilet I ’feel’ that. It's momentary : it's not disabling. It's an unpleasantness that lasts a very short period of time. And I know some one is going to pick me up on minimising ; but it really is not the worst for me.
     
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  8. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

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    I'm sorry I didn't mean to ask you to go so detailed .I'm sorry if that was upsetting.
    I was more asking about the betrayal part than the physical part. How that plays out now. It's ok you don't have to answer.
     
    Mee likes this.
  9. Mee

    Mee Well-Known Member

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    It's ok.

    We are here for the work, right? I can always say I cannot answer.

    I just don’t know how to discuss the betrayal part while remaining safe here. I was ’doxxed’ before when discussing it and received threats to contact my partner’s family. Sigh. I do not take these very seriously and... We told them anyway so that if it happened they were prepared .

    A lot I just have to not bring here because I feel it risks making my partner/ partners da.ply and me vulnerable for these people if they find me :( god I hate the paranoia too!
     
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  10. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

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    I understand.
     
  11. Joan

    Joan Well-Known Member Donated

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    You are not alone! Those physical feelings suck!
     
    SpiritSong likes this.
  12. AliciaEff

    AliciaEff Active Member

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    I have them all the time. Inwas abused so there’s a lot there, but one I can feel strongly and I feel it often.
     
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