Does PTSD cause Narcissism

[Sunshine71]

Hi all

I haven't been here for a while......

Just wondering your thoughts ...... I have been with my hubbie for 35 years! We met in our late teens.... he was a great guy.... however I am wondering if some of the things I equated to PTSD are actually him being a narcissist.... and where does that leave me?!

Looking back at weird things he has done or wobblers he has thrown........

Can PTSD cause narcissism or narcissist behaviour? I don't think he was like this all those years back...

Thank you - Sunshine x

 

[arfie]

narcissism is one of those words that has been bandied around the ex-bashing circles so freely that i am afraid to even guess what narcissistic behavior is. i have never discussed it in a clinical context, so the highly confusing ex-bashing context is all i have to go by.

that said. . .

in my own case, it is hard to be overly involved with other people while i am in episode. even when i try, i typically do it badly.

 

[StarChild]

Looking back at weird things he has done or wobblers he has thrown....

@Sunshine71 is it possible for you to give some examples of the things he did, desisted to do, or said, that bothered / hurt you?

 

[Sunshine71]

@Sunshine71 is it possible for you to give some examples of the things he did, desisted, or said, that bothered / hurt you?

Thanks StarChild.... I tend to push the out of mind and even minutes after I cant think straight - however this is even part of it... saying things to get you to think it didnt happen or want as you said!

I may say something - trying to be funny ... trying to be more connected... even more intimate.... say the other day I said "Shall we look at the Anne Summers website " (A naughty adult site - we have been married for 30 + years and only just getting intimate as PTSF effected things) I was pushing the boundaries as only a year ago I wouldn't have even had the courage to say this...

His reply was that I am making him not feel like a man, I am ruining the day, it is cheap and tacky.... he walked off , a horrible atmosphere.....

He is all fun, chatty, helpful with work colleagues... and can come home and be offish to me and our son.... I often feel when I am feeling good he wants to bring me down....
When we go for walks he walks in front of me - OK often we have the dog and there isnt much room - however not all of the time... I make a joke of it - have even filmed the back of him walking along.... however he doesnt change ...
He said lets go for a walk on Sunday and said it will be a romantic walk.... he just walked in front of me! I said joking an meaning it that I should teach him how to be romantic - and again he threw a wobbler and walked off. I know it was a bit cheeky however just trying to make things better ... he could have laughed - he never does though - he always plays the victim.... rather than taking on board what I am trying to communicate

Hope this makes sense - :( xx

 

[Sunshine71]

narcissism is one of those words that has been bandied around the ex-bashing circles so freely that i am afraid to even guess what narcissistic behavior is. i have never discussed it in a clinical context, so the highly confusing ex-bashing context is all i have to go by.

that said. . .

in my own case, it is hard to be overly involved with other people while i am in episode. even when i try, i typically do it badly.

Thanks Arfie - and of course sorry to hear this.... and I get it after being with hubbie all these years,.... I wonder if I have put things down to PTSD - maybe we both have however there could be other issues too that perhaps can be addressed. Wishing you all the very best xx

 

[somerandomguy]

Just because someone acts like a jerk doesn't make them a narcissist.

 

[arfie]

I wonder if I have put things down to PTSD - maybe we both have however there could be other issues

i am uber-guilty of putting just about everything i don't like down to ptsd. hubs, too. i am the identified patient of the family and it's my job to play the scapegoat. sigh. . . he loves me in spite of his perfections. life gets messy and i grow weary of all the psychoanalyzing. ptsd is as handy a scapegoat as i have ever used. i promise, i'll get around to those other issues, someday. i'm still reserving the right to call those other issues, "ptsd."

 

[Anon1]

Just because someone acts like a jerk doesn't make them a narcissist.

As I understand it, a person can have a pattern of behaving in a narcissistic way, without having full blown NPD.

I think pain can help that to happen? People think of themselves a lot when they’re hurting - it’s only natural… (even if it’s not helpful, or particularly right, say).

 

[Sideways]

I wonder if I have put things down to PTSD - maybe we both have however there could be other issues too that perhaps can be addressed.

It could be either, or both.

Ptsd can cause us to act pretty selfishly and completely unreasonably at times, to the point where it interferes in our relationships.

Things to look out for, particularly for your sufferer: was there something in that scenario that triggered them? Was their stress cup overflowing?

At the same time - anyone can get ptsd. Including people who are selfish, people who have personality disorders, and people who are jerks.

Unfortunately, the bulk of sorting through that rests on your partner’s shoulders. You can support them to do that, and you can also help steer them towards healthier interactions by setting clear boundaries about what kind of communication is unacceptable to you.

 

[Sweetpea76]

PTSD is a selfish disorder, and somebody who doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to look out for anybody but themselves can definitely have traits that look pretty darn narcissistic.

 

[Friday]

PTSD is an incredibly selfish disorder… as is any condition inflicting pain.

Generally speaking, I expect the same of a person having a bad time with their PTSD as a woman giving birth, or a man having their arm cut off, or a parent losing a child, a rape victim bleeding cum out of every orafice… IE virtually nothing whatsoever. Because all of their focus, is surviving the next few seconds. There is no future, no past, just now, right now, and nothing exists except pain, blinding, irrational, unending pain.

Reliving, instead of remembering, is a brutal thing.

How one HANDLES pain, however, is an entirely individual thing.