Other Does this sound familiar with you (psychosis)?

Aliana

New Here
For over a decade I had many psychiatrists come and go, all scrathing their hair about my two episodes of psycosis wich happened 2012 and 2013. I have had olanzapine/ zyprexa prescribed since then, but use them more like sleepingpills and are in reality of meds.

Different psychiatrists have given me different diagnoses, and changed the diagnose of the earlier one. Bipolar type 1/ schizofrenia/ schizo affektive.... and every pdr keep asking me of I do drugs (I don't, and never has). My current diagnoses are PTSD and cyclic psycosis.

Thing is, that my psycosis both look a lot like schizofrenia. I was paranoid, had vision halluciations, very delusional ideas... Looking back I'd say that I didn't have auditory hallucinations, but rather missinterpreded sounds witch were real, and my hearing was clearer and sharper mutch like it gets when I am stressed out.

Reading about hysteric psychosis I understand that these shall occure as an direct respons to the trauma. My trauma that is for My PTSD diagnose occurred in 2004 (I think, cant really remember). The first psychosis I got in 2012 was a reaction/ right after an other event wich was not life thretening but extremly stressful and life changing. The event also had many parallells with the trauma, but without the threat to life part.
The psychosis in it self had a theme of this new event, alltough threat to life was also involved at different levels.

The second psychosis I say happened because I had rum out of meds and it was weekend so I could not get My "sleepingpills" intill monday and that was to late. The situation once again was stressful, not life thretening, and once again the real situationen was reminding of North the trauma and the situation before my first psychosis. This time the theme of the psychosis was more about psychosis number 1.

I cant sleep att all before the psychosis hits me. Both times I have been awake for several days. It takes one night of good sleep (both times in the hospital, stroked down with meds) and then the psychosis is gone.

My latest psych ruled out schizofrenia because after all this time the only negative symtom I have is fatige and memoryloss (alltough memories are slowly returning).

Guys, would you please help me brainstorm om this one?

If any questions, please ask!
 
Have you been tested for deficiencies in your blood and or hormones?

I was going nuts! I have a great doctor. Like amazing. And he found deficiencies by doing some huge panel of blood tests, I too have PTSD. I had a stress induced eating disorder almost cardiac arrest, and now fibromyalgia. Then a neck injury from retraumatization trauma anxiety response with a marriage therapist who just dove right into a big trauma question.

Anyways. I'm saying I've had a lot of medical care and as the Dr helps me fill in the gaps I get better. I've had a lot of breaks.

My progesterone was so low and my liver was breaking down from all the extra adrenaline in my system are the two main things that I wasn't expecting from PTSD.

Just my thoughts. Hoping for answers for you soon.
 

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
For over a decade I had many psychiatrists come and go, all scrathing their hair about my two episodes of psycosis wich happened 2012 and 2013. I have had olanzapine/ zyprexa prescribed since then, but use them more like sleepingpills and are in reality of meds.

Different psychiatrists have given me different diagnoses, and changed the diagnose of the earlier one. Bipolar type 1/ schizofrenia/ schizo affektive.... and every pdr keep asking me of I do drugs (I don't, and never has). My current diagnoses are PTSD and cyclic psycosis.

Thing is, that my psycosis both look a lot like schizofrenia. I was paranoid, had vision halluciations, very delusional ideas... Looking back I'd say that I didn't have auditory hallucinations, but rather missinterpreded sounds witch were real, and my hearing was clearer and sharper mutch like it gets when I am stressed out.

Reading about hysteric psychosis I understand that these shall occure as an direct respons to the trauma. My trauma that is for My PTSD diagnose occurred in 2004 (I think, cant really remember). The first psychosis I got in 2012 was a reaction/ right after an other event wich was not life thretening but extremly stressful and life changing. The event also had many parallells with the trauma, but without the threat to life part.
The psychosis in it self had a theme of this new event, alltough threat to life was also involved at different levels.

The second psychosis I say happened because I had rum out of meds and it was weekend so I could not get My "sleepingpills" intill monday and that was to late. The situation once again was stressful, not life thretening, and once again the real situationen was reminding of North the trauma and the situation before my first psychosis. This time the theme of the psychosis was more about psychosis number 1.

I cant sleep att all before the psychosis hits me. Both times I have been awake for several days. It takes one night of good sleep (both times in the hospital, stroked down with meds) and then the psychosis is gone.

My latest psych ruled out schizofrenia because after all this time the only negative symtom I have is fatige and memoryloss (alltough memories are slowly returning).

Guys, would you please help me brainstorm om this one?

If any questions, please ask!
I have some questions: how old are you now? This will allow me to formulate a timeline.
I will say that I belive that “hallucinations” are “Re-membering past traumas”. Our minds try to bring up old traumas from the oast and another part of the brain “changes them into something” palatable. For example, a couple of months ago while I was watching an episode of the “golden girls” Sophia said: she was so poor she ate fried mice!
Suddenly I flashed on me standing in my neighbors kitchen preparing dead mice for dinner.
Odd and I was terrified!
I told myself, as I often do, that things will explain themself.
Two days later my mind went back to the “dead mice for dinner” flash and I somehow connected to the very real weight of the dead mice in my hand.
Suddenly I flash to me being a 5th grader and going out to feed my rabbits and finding out that there were dead mice in their cage!
I started screaming and my mother came running and said they aren’t mice they are baby bunnies. She made me pick them up and toss them away.
Mystery solved.
Hallucinations, are Screen memories. Your mind hiding what realky happened. Let it go, if you want to do some “light excercises” lay in bed somewhere safe and replay the “hallucination” in your mind until you can find “what is real to you. Sometimes there are flashbacks that are immediately real and some never feel real. With me and the mice it was only the weight of the dead bunny body.

as a side note, your mind is a steel trap. It won’t remember bc you want it to. Or bc you are doing exercises to evoke answers. We are built this way for a reason: to survive not to thrive. Survival is first: stay alive at all costs! Then if all well: thrive. So trying to coax “old memeories” shouldnt be encouraged.
 
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