frogthroat
MyPTSD Pro
This is embarrassing for me to write about. I'm in-between my last job and starting my new one and I've been having anxiety issues but tonight I feel like I'm on the verge of having an episode. I've had a couple of these meltdowns in the past couple years.
The first one I had what felt like a panic attack at work. I left. My car was being worked on at the time so I walked. I just walked. I walked frantically through some woods without thinking. I don't know what I was thinking and I fell in a hole. I managed to climb out of the hole but I lost my phone subsequently having to buy a new one. I had to walk back to work and somebody drove me to my apartment because I was so out of it.
The second time I was having a panic attack and I thought maybe a few beers would calm me down. I ended up at a bar. I NEVER go to bars unless there's a reason like a band I want to see and it's with other people. I went by myself. I drove a guy to his house drunk and apparently drove myself home. Yes, I know this was horrible. I don't ever do this and I feel like trash that this happened. Please don't come for me. Although, I've had had problems with alcohol before. I drink at home as I don't like socializing really or putting myself in a vulnerable position around complete strangers.
I'm getting help for PTSD along with major depression and general anxiety.
I don't know how to describe these events. They just happened so fast. I was totally sober at work and when I decided to drink (which was a terrible idea) it was already happening.
Everything felt fast and bright. I couldn't even tell you what I was thinking other than I needed to "go" and I had to "get out." Where did I need to go or leave to? I have no idea. I just needed to leave. It felt urgent.
My primary care doctor thinks I might be bipolar and I've decided to just get a psych assessment when I find a psychiatrist so there's more information for them to go on. Does this sound like more than panic? I feel it coming in a different way. It's hard to describe.
I've tried to educate myself a bit on bipolar but I don't feel the descriptions of mania accurately describe what I'm experiencing. Does anyone have any input? I know I need to see a psychiatrist.
The first one I had what felt like a panic attack at work. I left. My car was being worked on at the time so I walked. I just walked. I walked frantically through some woods without thinking. I don't know what I was thinking and I fell in a hole. I managed to climb out of the hole but I lost my phone subsequently having to buy a new one. I had to walk back to work and somebody drove me to my apartment because I was so out of it.
The second time I was having a panic attack and I thought maybe a few beers would calm me down. I ended up at a bar. I NEVER go to bars unless there's a reason like a band I want to see and it's with other people. I went by myself. I drove a guy to his house drunk and apparently drove myself home. Yes, I know this was horrible. I don't ever do this and I feel like trash that this happened. Please don't come for me. Although, I've had had problems with alcohol before. I drink at home as I don't like socializing really or putting myself in a vulnerable position around complete strangers.
I'm getting help for PTSD along with major depression and general anxiety.
I don't know how to describe these events. They just happened so fast. I was totally sober at work and when I decided to drink (which was a terrible idea) it was already happening.
Everything felt fast and bright. I couldn't even tell you what I was thinking other than I needed to "go" and I had to "get out." Where did I need to go or leave to? I have no idea. I just needed to leave. It felt urgent.
My primary care doctor thinks I might be bipolar and I've decided to just get a psych assessment when I find a psychiatrist so there's more information for them to go on. Does this sound like more than panic? I feel it coming in a different way. It's hard to describe.
I've tried to educate myself a bit on bipolar but I don't feel the descriptions of mania accurately describe what I'm experiencing. Does anyone have any input? I know I need to see a psychiatrist.