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Does your stress increase before vacation?

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I’m wondering if this occurs for others and may or may not be connected with ptsd….

Vacation alone ——> yay!! No stress, no worry. Whatever comes up you’ll handle like a pro. You look forward to it

Vacation with significant other/friend/family ——> stress spikes and you’d rather not go.
 
J's major issue is coming home. The last day is usually brutal so we plan for an extra day before going back to work.

He does stress out a little before the trip but only because he leaves his packing for the last minute.

He has it made though because I plan all of it. (We wouldn't go anywhere if it was left to him.) He just has to pack his clothes and tell his employer. Oh, and get his head in the game. 🙄

I think he is soooo vigilante, even on vacation, that it's just added stress. He can't come home to his "safe place".

What has you stressing out about it?
 
Yup. Always. I think the larger part is about "not meeting expectations" or being the reason others are not enjoying their vacation.

Last vacation I just realized - it was more about her than me. That as long as I could manage my stuff to where we could go do things and she had lots of fun - that was good enough.
 
I’m going to let you be the judge.

Do I have a packing list? Yes
Have I devised an escape plan? Yes
Have I planned costs allowed per event including meals? Yes
Do I have an itinerary? Yes
Do I sleep the night before? No
Have I run as many worst case scenarios as possible? Yes
Did I add the weather for the city/cities to my phone and check it at least once a day for a week before I go? Yes

So no I think I’m 100% stress free leading up to a vacation. Also don’t ask if I stress the entire vacation and need to plan a day off at home before you go back to work because I’d answer yes.

BTW vacation by myself or someone else the stresses remain the same.
 
What has you stressing out about it?
Different layers….the unknown is one. If there’s no objective then it’s difficult to plan around. Relaxation holds pressure for me cuz I don’t know if it will be successful. My partner puts a lot of stock into how successful a vacation is by if I seem relaxed and connected.
Intimacy is a lot of pressure.
I don’t want to disappoint my partner cuz he values vacations so very much.
I value him a tremendous amount, so regardless of how big my internal storm is, I’ll hide it. That’s probably wrong but it’s what I know.
 
Different layers….the unknown is one. If there’s no objective then it’s difficult to plan around. Relaxation holds pressure for me cuz I don’t know if it will be successful. My partner puts a lot of stock into how successful a vacation is by if I seem relaxed and connected.
Intimacy is a lot of pressure.
I don’t want to disappoint my partner cuz he values vacations so very much.
I value him a tremendous amount, so regardless of how big my internal storm is, I’ll hide it. That’s probably wrong but it’s what I know.
Have you thought about telling SO about the pressures?
 
When I’m steady and grounded it’s almost impossible to have those conversations with my partner, but I try.
Lately I’m in the murky waters of my past, so having that conversation will likely not happen.
I absolutely understand that it would be better for both of us if these kinds of open communication sessions could happen. I also know it’s not fair to him…..I just can’t right now.
 
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