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Doing emdr for the first time in a long time tomorrow -- how do i avoid retraumatization?

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littleoc

MyPTSD Pro
hello,

I'm worried about getting retraumatized during EMDR. Has this happened to people?

My therapist is a trauma specialist, or at least a hospital in 2015 who hooked me up with her told me she was. I tried to confirm it online and couldn't find anything.

I have done EMDR with her before but I was young enough that I had fewer boundaries with my mother at the time, who took me to a grocery store right after despite (1) the service dog not being with me and (2) me specifically saying I wanted to go home. I got retraumatized in the grocery store after seeing someone hit her kid. Was probably not even a big deal to most people.

I am very worried. Does anyone know what I could do to be less worried?

Thank you

Forgot to add:

This time I have told my mom that I want to go home immediately afterward.

Unfortunately my home is a disaster. It is the place where I was abused most (mostly?) and also it is full of trash right now.

I'm going to try to go to the storage unit today and get out a tent so I can just go camping in the backyard. Weather currently looks okay

I could go to my actual bed if needed
 
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My therapist is a trauma specialist, or at least a hospital in 2015 who hooked me up with her told me she was. I tried to confirm it online and couldn't find anything.
Have you asked her directly? It might help set your mind at rest a little if she can clarify that for you and what her background experience of working with trauma is.

Is your therapist aware that EMDR left you feeling retraumatised before and that you are concerned about that happening again? I think this is stuff you really need to be talking through with her before starting the process again so that you can both be better prepared for it.
 
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Is your therapist aware that EMDR left you feeling traumatised before and that you are concerned about that happening again? I think this is stuff you really need to be talking through with her before starting the process again so that you can both be better prepared for it.

I have not asked her directly, no.

And I didn't think of telling her. She knows I have to go back to a house that bothers me. But I was afraid to bring this up -- I'm afraid of insulting her intelligence/experience, I think?

Should I bluntly bring it up before the EMDR session?

I feel that I have to do this, because I'm going to a different town for at least three months soon, which means I am unlikely to get therapy during that time
 
I think you should bring up your concerns with her, yes.

Cards on the table - I haven't done EMDR - but I think your therapist needs to know how you're feeling about it. Partly just because that will help her to help you better, but also because she may think you're in a more stable place than you are. I understand you saying about feeling pressured time-wise, but rushing into something you're ill-prepared for isn't necessarily going to get you the results your wanting and could end up setting you back further.

Ask the questions. Talk through your fears. Even if that means EMDR doesn't happen tomorrow.

Curious, what preparation has your therapist already done with you for this?
 
Should I bluntly bring it up before the EMDR session?
Yup. Before you start, tell her your concern. If your sessions are like mine, there is a short time when you first start therapy that the therapist checks in to see how you fared since the last session, how you are doing currently and if there are any questions you want to ask. Take full advantage of this time and ask your questions. I know mine has said that he is starting me into EMDR slowly and gently. I hate to see what full bore looks like! :eek: And I think the tent is a great idea but then, I love to go camping. The tent, for me, would be a nice refuge. As for re-traumatizing, I cannot answer this. But, from what others have said, there will be times that emotions and memories will make themselves known and cause reactions while doing EMDR. Don't know if this can be termed "re-traumatization" though. Perhaps. To me, it seems anytime I am faced with looking at a trauma, there is a level of being re-traumatizing for me. Sorry I cannot help you much with your concerns, littleoc.
 
Curious, what preparation has your therapist already done with you for this?
Coping skills?

Once did a fake EMDR thing were I just figured a happy place while playing with the EMDR equipment (I am childish) with her. So now we have a place we can go to if I get too stressed.

I bring my service dog -- the last time (vague memory) I was able to avoid dissociations because the dog would notice and react.

I often bring milkshakes or candy so I can ground quickly when uncomfortable. I assume she or a previous psychologist taught me that?

My memory is weirdly fuzzy around those events. Trying to remember hurts my head a little?

But anyway. Do you think those things count?

And I think the tent is a great idea but then, I love to go camping
Me too! It'll be an adventure! :P

there is a short time when you first start therapy that the therapist checks in to see how you fared since the last session, how you are doing currently and if there are any questions you want to ask
I remember this now. Last time I had scheduled EMDR it got canceled because of what I said beforehand.

Maybe I'm worrying too much?
 
Yeah, probably. We tend to worry far and above how the session usually tends to take place. I think you will do fine. I think, if you have not already, you need to explain to her what you understand coping and calming technigues are for you. If she is a trauma specialist, she is not going to let you go into EMDR if she knows you do not have adequate coping skills in place. If you have not explained to her how you "did" EMDR in the past, she may take it for granted that you are well educated about it and are on board with your coping skills. Communication is tantamount, littleoc.
 
Should I bluntly bring it up before the EMDR session?
Yes.
And I didn't think of telling her. She knows I have to go back to a house that bothers me. But I was afraid to bring this up -- I'm afraid of insulting her intelligence/experience, I think?
It’s not insulting her intelligence to tell her what you’re thinking/feeling. Because she’s not a mind reader. :D
 
I'm worried about getting retraumatized during EMDR. Has this happened to people?

Yup. Had a flashback during it and jumped backwards clear over the chair and huddled in the corner yelling "don't hurt me" over and over. My therapist had to move the chair and get on his hands and knees and talk me through it. But, first that was way before service dog and second it isn't typical and was well before I was ready to process memories. I'm going back to EMDR soon too and I'm worried too but that was about 5 or 6 yrs ago. My therapist didn't realize just how deep this trauma goes for me. He's a very experienced trauma therapist but I had been in therapy a few yrs by then and neither one of us really realized just how deep this is. This time he told me he wanted to do EMDR around my dad instead of my mom. Still surrounding the same trauma but not near as deep. It's like taking the long way around if you will or grazing over the same trauma but just not working directly over it. It will eventually process the same memories I think as my dad was around for about half of it and then I think we will eventually work with the real deep stuff. Just will take a bit longer. Plus now I have a service dog in training that goes to appointments with me.

Anyway, I agree to share these concerns with your therapist. A big part of EMDR is feeling safe. My therapist has intentionally advised me way before hand this time. He actually advised me that he was becoming cerified (a therapist doesn't have to be certified in EMDR to be trained for EMDR) and that he wanted to work more with me and EMDR, weeks ahead of his certification. We have talked about it each session since. We are working out all the worries ahead of time. Making a more plan of action if you will. He is making me more comfortable with it as time goes on. I feel that's been important for me.

I don't think a tent will be necessary afterwards. But that's just me.
 
I ended up not doing EMDR because I'm too unwell to do so -- some kind of weird illness.

But whenever I do again, I'll update if applicable :) Or if I don't forget, lol

Thank you, everyone, for your advice!
 
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