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Doing everything possible yet depressed

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Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
Depressed...

Maybe this is a current cutout from Reality out of frustration. Trying to avoid the “complaining on a high level“. And this is also not about showing off, “look at me! Look how much I am doing“... more about needing to throw out to feel atleast a bit revealed.

Do you at times think that you Do everything possible to stay stable? But it just isnt enough?

Working fulltime (medical sector)
Fitness training
Supplements, ayurvedic therapy
Eating healthy (Trying my best...drinking enough water)
Therapy (which will soon end)
Yoga (almost everyday....not the most disciplined)
Selfdefense course
I go out every weekend even being depressed
Neat, clean apartment.



Now, I am not showing off/bragging, I am just wondering if this trying to be perfect? I tend to sometimes be too perfect and is expecting to be things always under control.

Can anyone relate to this?
 
Yes, yes, yes. This sounds very familiar. High functioning on the outside, feeling like death on the inside. I can completely relate.

Can I ask why your therapy is ending? For me, therapy is part of what helped me get through this.

Is there any way you can just schedule a day all to yourself to let yourself do nothing? Sometimes too much self-care becomes the opposite of self-care if you feel like you have to do it.
 
Can I ask why your therapy is ending? For me, therapy is part of what helped me get through this.

@somerandomguy. Thanks.
The prescribed therapy amount is ending... which doesnt mean I have NO therapist I will have to pay for it. Which I will Do or wait for another 2 years to get the therapy paid.

Sometimes too much self-care becomes the opposite of self-care if you feel like you have to do it.

This is an issue... maybe time to rethink. I am usually a Doer, and I dislike inefficiency, the waiting, fearing things might pile up.

The same road isnt working
 
I relate to being high functioning and staying busy while crashing inside. Painting has been helpful. I picked it up because it doesn't have to be perfect and I can let go of that expectation. It's brought joy
 
Let me not be misleading that painting has not been a fix-all, but a temporary relief. I couldn't make it without medication at this point. That is a good consideration.
 
I think we can do everything we can think of to be healthy but never quite get there. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, rather realistic in that maybe nothing will ever make us perfect? Darn this disorder! I mean my meds make me better, but not perfect. I’m still trying to find the perfect balance and it’s a struggle. These things can take quite a bit of time. Keep pushing forward! You can do this!
 
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