Dream about Making Up with Abuser

CCD

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I used to have a lot of nightmares about my abuser and the trauma, but I am 3 years into PTSD so I don't have as much difficulty with sleep anymore unless I am close to one of my triggers (it does get better once you find your healing journey for those that are wondering if it ever will!) Occasionally though, I dream about making up with my abuser. It was a perceived very close friend that hurt me, so we essentially both talk, sometimes hug, and we are friends again. I never understood why she did what she did and losing her as a friend caused a huge loss for me. At the same time though, seeing her in any form is extremely triggering for me because I am so terrified of her, so I don't know why my brain is doing this to me? I wake up in a moderate panic state and have to remind myself that reality is different which can set me back a bit on my journey. Sometimes I wake up with a ton of anxiety and I know that I have had a dream like that. Does anyone else struggle with this/ have any tips on telling yourself that you will never make up with a person but it is okay?
 
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