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Other Drugs and poisoning

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ILoveLife

MyPTSD Pro
Hi all.

One of the issues I've been facing was how much responsibility I actually had in drug consumption.

I never remember all the times I said no, and was persuaded to, until I eventually gave up saying no.

This has been hard because I think this is equivalent to poisoning. The things I've been through with drugs and the people involved kind of makes me wonder.

It may be paranoia. I've searched online and it seems like paranoia.

I'm having real time resting and my head hurts.
 
Hi all.

One of the issues I've been facing was how much responsibility I actually had in drug consumption.

I never remember all the times I said no, and was persuaded to, until I eventually gave up saying no.

This has been hard because I think this is equivalent to poisoning. The things I've been through with drugs and the people involved kind of makes me wonder.

It may be paranoia. I've searched online and it seems like paranoia.

I'm having real time resting and my head hurts.

I can relate to this @Sietz. And it reeeeeeaaaaallllly sux.

Done, heaps, to me, too.

By the end, I was, so, so, terribly ill.

So I don't think paranoia. I think "control" I think "pacification" I think zero care and predation, and in my experience, one of my "drugger rapists" tried to strangle me after, so, obs, wanted me dead.

Luckily there were witnesses, so he couldn't go all the way.

And the other, long-term "drugger-abuser-sexual enslaver" admitted to me, after I left that he resented that I left instead of died.

So poisoning? Not so far fetched. At least, if we had died, the evidence of the rapist-sadistic-control-abuse dies with us.

Sorry, I don't know if this helps? Coz it's not positive, at all. But, I just wanted to let you know ... I feel ya coz ...been there. Frickin psychopaths.

:hug: @Sietz, respect and empathy, from mums.
 
What @Freida said.

Pushed to choices on things you aren't into, and harm someone?

They aren't *your* choices.

Thus the blame for them or self-blame also isn't yours to take. I know it gets ugly and bitey. But just because it messes with your head doesn't mean you are to be blamed for what others did to you.
 
Thank you Ronin. I know you are right. It's easy to look at other situations and how it played out, given the sense for fairness and justice I think. Hard to fit the mind in the idea that a choice sometimes is not really a choice at all.
 
Got one for if choices are too hard...

The outcomes :sneaky:

You are here. Now. The whole of you.

All else is dust in the wind.
The now, and any future you are about to create, may mean more.
 
I need help unstucking.

The whole of last year has been epiphany after epiphany of what happened to me all those years. I think it's a cleansing of sorts, but it's been hard.

I want to trust in love again.
 
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