Dumped my Counsellor

FreeSoul

Learning
I went to this counsellor couple of times. At first, I felt good. I felt relieved. I didn't even know what to expect from her, nor did she ever raise this during our nearly 20+ sessions.
We only did talk therapy and I didn't even know what type of therapy would be most suitable for me. Even after telling her I didn't benefit from the sessions with her, she didn't do much besides talk therapy.
Then when I got busy with work, I didn't have any sessions with her for more than 2 years.
I mostly disliked her because she would contradict her own self.
Once she told me to confront my father about something he did to me; I did it and it didn't go well; possibly my father gaslit me. When I told my counsellor, she sent me on guilt trip "why did you confront him?"
After few such incidents, I used to have a session with her when I wanted to vent out, and didn't expect much from her besides getting some relief from the stuff running in my head.
Then during lockdown, I did lots of journaling, and I found that my mother, sister, and eldest brother had been abusive too.
I shared about my mother, sister, and eldest brother with her. Until then, I had been venting about my father's and another brother's abusive behaviour.
My counsellor told me "your mother had her own issues" or something like that.
I wanted her to talk to me about what exactly my mother, sister, and eldest brother did to me, how their abusive behaviours had been affecting me, comfort me, help me with overcoming the effects of the abuse, and so on.
She didn't do any of these.
That was the last session I had with her ever.
I sometimes feel like talking to her again, just to vent out a little because, I don't have any other counsellor or therapist who is willing to help me in the treatment.
I have been working on my own as of now, doing grounding exercises to overcome dissociation.
 

Kerker2011

New Here
I've had a similar issue with 2 therapist. Pushing me to forgive those who hurt me and even telling me I wasn't the only victim! No empathy, no compassion, nothing except trying to make me learn to "think positive" NO matter how I was "needing to feel" at that time.
One of those therapist is indeed a narcissist! I will never be able or allowed to tell about and feel the emotions for all she and her monkeys put me through!
I cannot understand the reasons for not showing me to feel.
I've asked the other therapist multiple times to explain. She either can't or won't.
Therapy is hard.
Life is hard.
Narcissist are evil and if their lips are moving, they're LYING! Very hurtful lies!
If I told all that I've been through not just since birth, but also just since I lost my home to wildfires in 2011, all who read it would feel I was a liar.
I'm dang tired of being tired.
 

FreeSoul

Learning
I've had a similar issue with 2 therapist. Pushing me to forgive those who hurt me and even telling me I wasn't the only victim! No empathy, no compassion, nothing except trying to make me learn to "think positive" NO matter how I was "needing to feel" at that time.
One of those therapist is indeed a narcissist! I will never be able or allowed to tell about and feel the emotions for all she and her monkeys put me through!
I cannot understand the reasons for not showing me to feel.
I've asked the other therapist multiple times to explain. She either can't or won't.
Therapy is hard.
Life is hard.
Narcissist are evil and if their lips are moving, they're LYING! Very hurtful lies!
If I told all that I've been through not just since birth, but also just since I lost my home to wildfires in 2011, all who read it would feel I was a liar.
I'm dang tired of being tired.
It can be really frustrating and lonely when you don’t get support from the therapist, whose job is to support. Even worst is when they see things from the perspective of the abuser, and not the victim.
It is not surprising to find such therapists. I hope you look for another therapist, and find one who can empathize with you and be compassionate towards you.
I do suggest you to be hopeful, and keep doing the work.

I first went to a therapist in 2008 for social anxiety, and she casually, with a dead face, told me “it was alright not to meet people”, or something similar.
I continued reading psychology books, watching videos by psychologists, and finally went to a counsellor in 2014, whom I dumped in 2021, which I should have done long before.
But, guess what, I am much better than I used to be in 2008, when I first went to a therapist.

Narcissists are evil, and also satanic in nature. Lying is second nature to them; and even when they speak the truth, it isn’t for a good reason. There is evil even in their truth.
I also suggest you to share your stories of the trauma you went through here on the forum. There are some compassionate members who would give you some support.

Some books I personally found helpful are:
Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Kathy Steele, and Onno van der Hart; really helped me feel composed, grounded, and be present with myself.
Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie; helped me understand who (the psychopaths) I had dealt with.

There is an article on How to Find the Right Therapist by Alice Miller. I haven’t used the tips from the article; but I recommend you to read it. It could be of help to find a therapist who is worthy of working with you.
There article is here: FAQ: How to find the right therapist | Alice Miller en
 
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