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ED Eating disorder and addiction long term effects

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Leisel

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I heard in a Ted Talk about addictions that the thing is, people need to tell the truth about how they feel, and if it's not safe to tell the truth to the people in our lives, the we will "tell the truth" in other ways. There are healthy coping mechanisms, and there are unhealthy ones. For me in the past I chose unhealthy ones and numbing. Not only did that stunt my ability to process emotions but it messed up my body. I'm just now learning about the causes for some of my physical health problems and a lot of them could be directly related to my eating disorder and addictions. And that freaking sucks.
This whole thing sucks and as much as I'm trying to use physical health as a motivator for addiction/ED recovery, I also have this idea running through my head that it's my fault I feel these physical symptoms and that "my body sucks because I suck."
There must be a positive perspective somewhere, if anyone can see it, could it let me know? Otherwise, if you can relate, idk. At least you know you're not the only one.
Love to you all
 
I know for myself it is second nature to slip back into eating disorder behaviors when my emotions feel out of control. Survival responses to trauma developed to help us cope with what we could not cope with at the time. It seems natural to me that when our insides are raging, feelings are trying to be heard those habits we developed come back with a loud voice. This is actually a topic I was discussing in therapy this week. It helps me when I'm feeling intense shame around this to remember that anorexia helped me cope at a time when life was unbearable. It served a purpose and without it I'm not sure where I would have ended up. Double edge sword...what saved you could now kill you. Your body doesn't suck...what happened to you sucks.
 
I've been off sugar for the better part of a year and a half, and then I got offered something sweet over the holidays and I was back off my abstinence pretty quickly after that. I'm an emotional over and undereater. When I am mildly upset, I overeat, and when I am majorly upset, I either undereat or cannot eat at all. So I can relate, yes. It is good to know we are not alone.

How are you doing now? @Leisel
 
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