• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Ego

When does it become selfish? Is it selfish to focus on my selfishness?
Determining when a behavior becomes selfish depends on various factors, including the context, impact on others, and the intention behind the action. Selfishness generally refers to consistently prioritizing one's own needs and desires without considering or showing empathy for others.

Focusing on your own selfishness can be a positive step toward self-improvement if it leads to self-reflection, personal growth, and a desire to change harmful patterns. Acknowledging and addressing behaviors that may be selfish can be a courageous and constructive endeavor that demonstrates a willingness to improve relationships and foster empathy.

However, it's important to differentiate between self-improvement and self-obsession. Constantly fixating solely on perceived selfishness without progress or taking responsibility for one's behavior could potentially hinder personal growth and impede one's ability to empathize with and consider others.

Balancing self-care and consideration for others is a dynamic process that requires ongoing self-reflection, self-awareness, and a genuine desire to cultivate healthy relationships. It can be beneficial to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can offer guidance and help navigate this journey of self-discovery.

Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance where you can meet your own needs while also considering and respecting the needs and feelings of others. If you would like to explore this further or discuss specific situations, feel free to share more details, and I'll be here to support you.
 
Please elaborate
Certainly! Differentiating between self-improvement and self-obsession involves understanding the intentions and outcomes of our actions.

Self-improvement is a positive and growth-oriented process. It involves self-reflection, recognition of areas where we may have room for personal growth, and a sincere desire to make positive changes. When focusing on self-improvement, we take responsibility for our actions, seek to develop healthier behaviors, and actively work towards becoming the best version of ourselves. This includes developing empathy, considering the needs and feelings of others, and cultivating healthier relationships.

On the other hand, self-obsession is characterized by excessive self-focus and a lack of consideration for others. It often involves an excessive preoccupation with one's own needs, desires, and image, at the expense of others. Self-obsession can hinder personal growth as it can lead to a lack of self-awareness, the belief that one's needs are always more important than others, and an inability to empathize with or consider the feelings of others.

While it's important to engage in self-reflection and address any behaviors that may be detrimental to our well-being and relationships, constant and excessive self-obsession can hinder personal growth and hamper our ability to develop empathy and understanding towards others.

Striking a balance between self-care and consideration for others is a dynamic process that requires ongoing self-reflection, awareness, and openness to change. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and help navigate this journey.

Remember, it's natural and healthy to prioritize personal growth, but it's important to also cultivate empathy and consider the impact of our actions on others.
 
What is it if you feel selfish but you are told you are not but you still feel you are?
 
What is it if you feel selfish but you are told you are not but you still feel you are?
If you feel selfish despite being told otherwise, it could be an indication that there are underlying emotional factors at play.

Sometimes, our own self-perception can be influenced by various internal factors such as past experiences, beliefs about ourselves, or self-critical thoughts. These factors can create a distorted view of ourselves, making it difficult to accurately assess our own actions and intentions.

It's important to remember that our feelings and perceptions are valid, but they may not always align with reality. In this case, it might be helpful to explore the reasons behind why you feel selfish despite being told otherwise.

Consider asking yourself some open-ended questions to gain deeper insight into your feelings. What specific actions or situations trigger the feeling of selfishness? Are there any underlying beliefs or experiences that contribute to this perception? Are there patterns or past experiences that shape your self-perception?

Reflecting on these questions can help uncover any underlying emotional factors that may influence your self-perception. It may also be valuable to discuss this further with a therapist or counselor, who can provide support, guidance, and help you gain a clearer understanding of your feelings.

Remember, exploring your feelings and perceptions is a crucial step in understanding yourself better and working towards personal growth. If you would like to discuss this further or explore strategies for managing these feelings, I'm here to support you.
 
Can you give examples?
Of course! Here are some examples of open-ended questions that can help you gain deeper insight into your feelings of selfishness:

1. Can you describe specific situations or actions that make you feel selfish?
2. What emotions do you experience when you believe you are being selfish?
3. Are there any patterns or recurring themes in these situations?
4. Are there any specific beliefs or thoughts about yourself that contribute to your feelings of selfishness?
5. Can you recall any past experiences or events that might be influencing your perception of selfishness?
6. How do your feelings of selfishness impact your relationships and interactions with others?
7. Are there any other emotions or fears underlying your feelings of selfishness?
8. How do you define selfishness, and how does it differ from self-care or self-preservation?
9. Are there any societal or cultural influences that shape your perception of selfishness?
10. What would it look like for you to strike a balance between self-care and consideration for others?

Remember, these questions are meant to encourage self-reflection and help you gain a deeper understanding of your feelings of selfishness. Take your time to explore them and be patient with yourself. If it feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for additional support and guidance.
 
1. Can you describe specific situations or actions that make you feel selfish?
This post makes feel selfish. My journal makes me feel selfish. Talking with a therapist feels selfish. Being asked how I am before I ask a some first feels selfish.

2. What emotions do you experience when you believe you are being selfish?
I blush profusely. I am embarrassed for myself and humiliated that it is all about me and no one else. All of this makes me feel extremely guilty.

3. Are there any patterns or recurring themes in these situations?
4. Are there any specific beliefs or thoughts about yourself that contribute to your feelings of selfishness?
None I can think of.

5. Can you recall any past experiences or events that might be influencing your perception of selfishness?
No.

6. How do your feelings of selfishness impact your relationships and interactions with others?
I believe I don’t have any friends because I am so selfish. Because I am this way it prevents me or makes incapable of correctly responding to them, giving them the attention they deserve, or listening as attentively as I should.

7. Are there any other emotions or fears underlying your feelings of selfishness?
That no matter how much I try not to be I always will be because it is just part of my DNA.

8. How do you define selfishness, and how does it differ from self-care or self-preservation?
I am questioning my definitions of self-care and self-preservation so I am unsure how to answer this correctly.

9. Are there any societal or cultural influences that shape your perception of selfishness?
Possibly. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I also have childhood trauma.

10. What would it look like for you to strike a balance between self-care and consideration for others?
I didn’t know I needed a balance but, again, I am questioning my definition of self-care as it doesn’t mesh with this concept in my mind.
 
This post makes feel selfish. My journal makes me feel selfish. Talking with a therapist feels selfish. Being asked how I am before I ask a some first feels selfish.
Thank you for sharing. It sounds like there may be a common thread of feeling selfish in various situations. It can be helpful to explore the underlying reasons behind these feelings.

Reflecting on your response, it's possible that there may be a deeper belief or thought pattern at play. For example, you may have a belief that prioritizing your own needs and well-being is selfish, or that taking time for self-care is inherently self-centered. These beliefs can lead to feelings of guilt or selfishness even when engaging in activities that are meant to support your mental health.

Exploring these underlying beliefs can help you gain clarity and challenge any unhelpful thought patterns. Remember, self-care and seeking support, such as therapy, are essential components of maintaining well-being and addressing any trauma or challenging experiences you may have faced.

If you'd like, we can further explore these feelings and beliefs together. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it's important to address any emotional barriers that may be hindering your ability to prioritize your own well-being.

I blush profusely. I am embarrassed for myself and humiliated that it is all about me and no one else. All of this makes me feel extremely guilty.
Thank you for sharing your emotions. It's understandable to experience embarrassment, humiliation, and guilt when you believe that your actions or focus are solely about yourself. These emotions often stem from a strong sense of empathy and concern for others.

It's important to recognize that taking care of yourself and acknowledging your own needs is not inherently selfish. Self-care and self-improvement are essential for maintaining overall well-being, and they enable you to be in a better position to support others.

Consider exploring the idea that self-care is not selfish, but rather an act of self-preservation and self-compassion. By prioritizing your own well-being, you can build a stronger foundation that allows you to be present and supportive for others. Recognizing and valuing your own needs does not diminish the care and compassion you have for others.

It can also be helpful to challenge any negative self-talk or beliefs that contribute to these emotions of guilt and embarrassment. Remind yourself that you are worthy of self-care and that it is natural and necessary to focus on your own healing and growth.

If these emotions continue to be overwhelming or persistent, it may be beneficial to explore them further with a therapist or counselor who can provide support and guidance tailored to your specific circumstances. Remember, you deserve to prioritize your well-being just as much as anyone else.

None I can think of.
That's okay if you can't think of any patterns or beliefs at the moment. Sometimes, it can take time and deeper reflection to uncover recurring themes or underlying thoughts that contribute to feelings of selfishness.

If you're open to it, I encourage you to continue to stay curious and observe your thoughts and emotions in different situations. Pay attention to any recurring patterns or themes that emerge over time. This can include situations where you feel selfish or thoughts that consistently come up when you engage in self-care or prioritize your well-being.

It may also be helpful to talk about these feelings with a therapist or counselor, as they can provide guidance and support in exploring these patterns further. They can help you uncover any deep-seated beliefs or cognitive patterns that may be contributing to these feelings.

Remember, self-reflection takes time and patience. It's okay if insights come gradually. Trust the process and be kind to yourself along the way. If there's anything specific you'd like to discuss or if you have any other questions, feel free to share.

That's alright if you can't recall any specific past experiences or events that might be influencing your perception of selfishness. Sometimes, our feelings and beliefs are influenced by a combination of different factors, including past experiences, societal influences, and personal traits. It's possible that there may be various subtle influences at play that are not immediately apparent.

If you're open to it, I encourage you to continue exploring your feelings and beliefs with curiosity and self-compassion. It can be helpful to keep a journal to document situations or thoughts that trigger feelings of selfishness, as this may help identify any patterns or underlying influences over time.

Additionally, discussing these feelings with a therapist or counselor could provide valuable insights and support. They can guide you through a deeper exploration of your emotions and help uncover any underlying factors that may be contributing to these feelings of selfishness.

Remember, the process of understanding ourselves can be multifaceted and may not have simple answers. It's a journey of self-discovery and growth, and it's important to approach it with patience and self-compassion. If there's anything specific you'd like to discuss or if you have any other questions, feel free to share.

I believe I don’t have any friends because I am so selfish. Because I am this way it prevents me or makes incapable of correctly responding to them, giving them the attention they deserve, or listening as attentively as I should.
It sounds like you feel that your perceived selfishness may be impacting your relationships and interactions with others. It's understandable to have concerns about how your actions or focus may affect your ability to connect with and support others.

It's important to remember that relationships are complex and multifaceted. While it's natural to have moments where we may struggle with focusing on others, it doesn't automatically mean you are incapable of being a good friend or giving attention to others.

It may be helpful to challenge the belief that you are solely responsible for any difficulties in forming or maintaining friendships. Friendships require effort and mutual understanding from both parties. It can be helpful to remind yourself that you are deserving of connection and that your needs and well-being matter as well.

Additionally, cultivating self-awareness and working on your own personal growth can enhance your ability to connect with others. This includes actively listening, being present, and practicing empathy. Remember that self-care and self-improvement are not selfish acts but rather foundations for healthier relationships.

It can also be beneficial to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help explore these concerns further and provide guidance on building and maintaining healthy relationships. They can help you develop strategies for effective communication and navigate any challenges that arise.

Remember, it's never too late to learn and grow, and many skills for building relationships can be developed over time. You have the potential to form meaningful connections and engage in fulfilling interactions with others. If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to share.

That no matter how much I try not to be I always will be because it is just part of my DNA.
It can be challenging to feel that selfishness is an inherent and unchangeable part of your nature. However, it's important to recognize that our characteristics and behaviors are influenced by a combination of factors, including genetics, upbringing, and learned behaviors.

While some personality traits or tendencies may have a biological basis, it's crucial to understand that we have the capacity to shape and change our behaviors through self-awareness, intentional effort, and personal growth.

It's common for individuals to have moments where they feel self-centered or struggle with prioritizing the needs of others. However, it's essential to remember that these moments do not define who you are as a whole person. You have the capacity to learn and grow, to develop empathy, and to enhance your ability to consider the needs and feelings of others.

It may be helpful to explore these beliefs further with a therapist or counselor who can assist you in challenging negative self-perceptions and developing healthier perspectives. They can support you in identifying and fostering positive changes to help align your actions more closely with your values and the kind of relationships you aspire to have.

Keep in mind that personal growth is an ongoing process, and with dedication and self-reflection, it is possible to cultivate empathy and improve your interactions with others. If you have any additional questions or concerns, feel free to share.

I am questioning my definitions of self-care and self-preservation so I am unsure how to answer this correctly.
That's completely understandable! Exploring and redefining our definitions of self-care and self-preservation is a valuable process.

Selfishness, in a negative sense, often involves a disregard for the needs, desires, and well-being of others in favor of solely focusing on oneself. It typically involves a self-centered mindset and actions that prioritize one's own interests at the expense of others.

On the other hand, self-care and self-preservation involve actions and practices aimed at nurturing and maintaining one's own physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Self-care is about recognizing and meeting our personal needs to promote overall health and happiness. It involves engaging in activities that recharge us, promote relaxation, reduce stress, or enhance our overall sense of well-being.

Self-preservation, on the other hand, refers to actions taken to protect oneself from harm or danger. It encompasses behaviors that ensure our safety, security, and physical well-being.

It's important to note that engaging in self-care and self-preservation is not inherently selfish. Taking care of ourselves allows us to be in a better position to support and care for others. It enables us to maintain our mental and emotional health, which ultimately benefits our abilities to engage in healthy relationships and contribute to our communities.

As you explore your definitions of self-care and self-preservation, consider what actions or practices are in alignment with your values and well-being. Reflect on how different activities may impact both yourself and those around you. Remember, finding a balance that nourishes your own needs while considering the needs of others is key.

If you'd like, we can delve deeper into this topic and explore ideas for incorporating self-care and self-preservation into your life. Just let me know!

Possibly. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I also have childhood trauma.
Thank you for sharing that. Societal and cultural influences, as well as personal experiences, can significantly shape our perceptions and beliefs about various topics, including selfishness.

Being raised within a specific religious or cultural framework can certainly have an impact on our perspectives and understanding of concepts such as selfishness. Different belief systems may emphasize certain values and behaviors, which can shape our perception of what is considered selfish or selfless.

Similarly, childhood trauma can influence our beliefs and perceptions about ourselves and others. Past experiences can shape our understanding of interpersonal dynamics and impact how we view our own behaviors and actions.

Exploring these influences can be a valuable step towards understanding your own perception of selfishness. Consider reflecting on how these experiences may have influenced your beliefs and whether there are any specific teachings or experiences that stand out in relation to selfishness.

As you continue to navigate these influences, it can be helpful to question and challenge any beliefs that may no longer serve you or align with your personal growth and well-being. Recognize that it is possible to develop a more nuanced and balanced perspective on selfishness, one that takes into account your own needs while still considering the well-being of others.

Working through these influences with a therapist or counselor who understands trauma and cultural influences can be particularly beneficial. They can provide guidance, support, and help you develop a more empowered perspective on self-care and relationships.

Please remember to be gentle with yourself throughout this process. If you have any further questions or would like to delve deeper into this topic, please feel free to share.

I didn’t know I needed a balance but, again, I am questioning my definition of self-care as it doesn’t mesh with this concept in my mind.
I understand that questioning your definition of self-care and how it relates to finding a balance with considering others can bring about uncertainty. It's completely normal to reassess and refine our understanding of concepts as we grow and gain new insights.

Finding a balance between self-care and consideration for others varies for each individual and can depend on personal values, circumstances, and relationships. Striking this balance is about recognizing the importance of taking care of yourself while also being mindful of the impact your actions may have on others.

Consider exploring the following questions to help you gain clarity in defining what balance might mean for you:

1. What are your core values and beliefs when it comes to self-care and relationships?
2. How do you currently prioritize self-care in your life, and how does that align with your
 
There is too much ‘self’ in here. I have red flags and alarm bells going off in my head that this is wrong. I can’t focus on this right now. Is that wrong?
 
There is too much ‘self’ in here. I have red flags and alarm bells going off in my head that this is wrong. I can’t focus on this right now. Is that wrong?
I apologize if the focus on self-care and self-reflection feels overwhelming at the moment. It's completely understandable if you're not ready to delve into these topics right now. It's important to prioritize your current needs and well-being.

Taking breaks and recognizing when you need to step back and focus on yourself is a healthy practice. It's essential to listen to your instincts and give yourself the space and time you require to feel comfortable and ready.

If there are any specific concerns or questions you would like to address at this time, please let me know. Otherwise, it's perfectly okay to take a break and return to the discussion when you feel more prepared.
 
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Back
Top