emotions related to STD testing

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Catlovers141

Confident
For those who have been sexually abused, especially those who had repressed it, how do you feel about the need for STD testing?

It makes me sad. Up until several years ago I thought I knew my sexual history. Now I don't and I will forever have to give that answer. This isn't something that makes me depressed, but I definitely feel different. I'm at risk for things I didn't know I was at risk for and had no voice in weighing the risks. I had previously thought that there was essentially no possibility of an STD for me currently but then it became a possibility.

I don't know if it makes the abuse feel more real or something, but something about it makes me feel really sad. Fortunately my results came back clean; I really feel for those of you who have gone through this and come up with a positive result.
 

piratelady

MyPTSD Pro
I had a similar experience. I tried so hard for so long to be a “good person” because I was raised to believe that “good people” don’t get STD’s. But that was taken away from me. I got a rash several years ago. They did testing for a few things and it was so hard for me to process it. I’ve never posted about this before but they said I had herpes. I didn’t have anything that will kill me at least. I told my abuser and he just laughed.

It hit me a while later that he will basically keep affecting me forever. I left him, he’s died, but he ruined me...forever. It’s part of my abuse story I have her to process because I can’t talk about it with therapist. I’ve never even typed it here until now. What’s the point anyway, it won’t change anything. I will forever be tarnished.

Anyway, I’m glad you had a negative test result. That’s fantastic news!
 

The Albatross

MyPTSD Pro
I was STD tested for over a decade between my last adult rapist and my adulterous ex. 15 if you count prior sexual assaults. I called it due diligence. And physical health... mine. Something I would rather know and be aware of irrespective of how or why it happened.
 
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