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Emotions & triggers

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by Ryanna, May 3, 2018.

  1. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

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    Does anybody else find themselves getting a rollercoaster of different emotions constantly? I find it really difficult to be able to make friends with others as I am always reserved and hesitant of others. I always find myself being jealous of others that have had amazing lives and don’t even realise it. I get really envious when people talk how shit their day way because they lost their headphones or something like that, when in my head I’ve had constant reminders of my abuse and sudden waves of anxiety at random points of the day for reasons I am an aware of. I find it hard to connect with other people. I find myself getting angry or upset or happy or down at any little thing. My emotions change drastically at rapid paces that make me uncomfortable a lot of the time and this can make everyday tasks really hard. I think this is because I can’t figure out what triggers me, so I can’t deal with or avoid the situations that make me uncomfortable. Does anyone have suggestions on how to figure out your triggers?
     
    Zoogal likes this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    Well... the good news here, is that avoiding triggers & stressors doesn’t actually work, except for maaaaaaybe in the extremely short term / one off kinds of ways. Like I’m not going to watch a combat flick when I’m already edgy around Memorial Day. It’s just a bad idea. But if I take that a step further? Am avoiding all references to combat/military, and not just a couple few times a year? In very short order, I’m not leaving my house, don’t own a TV/Radio/Computer/Phone, or am interacting with anyone. Why? Because there will be triggers and stressors in all of those. Whether you’re talking combat or sexual assault or motor vehicle accidents or kidnapping or... anything really... there are going to be daily references & reminders in all kinds of avenues & ways. Worse, triggers & stressors are mobile as hell. The more one pulls back, the more general they tend to become. So what was once a certain type of man, can become all men of a certain age, and then all men, and then everyone male, and then I don’t even have to see/be around men at all even the thought of men is enough.

    If you think of triggers and stressors like a Warning System that got miswired... and every time we avoid that which stresses us we’re rewarding it... GOOD JOB! Do more of that!!!... and so it does? :facepalm: Yep. Exactly what we don’t want to do.

    Same token, it’s a bleeding warning system. Like trying to do anything with a fire alarm screaming in your ear, there’s only so much a person can take. Do too much and you’re running down the halls with your hands over your ears screaming (or taking a sledge hammer to each blaring klaxon, doing nothing to lessen it...because OMG there are a zillion of these f*ckers) completely out of control. Maaaaaaaake it STOP!!! Aaaaaaaargh. Crazy Making.

    So it’s a bit of a balance, between not rewarding avoidant behavior, so that the warning system can start to rewire itself correctly, and not going stark raving mad because the damn thing won’t shut up.
     
    Zoogal likes this.
  4. Ryanna

    Ryanna New Member

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    Thank you, I never really looked it at like that, that actually has helped and makes perfect sense, thank you.
     
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