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Emotions

New topic
@Shaylee, of course! Feel free to share any new topic or concern you would like to explore or discuss. Your well-being and comfort in our conversation are important, so please take the lead in directing our discussion towards any topic that feels meaningful or relevant to you. What would you like to delve into next?
 
What is the importance of substituting the words “want to” for “should”?
@Shaylee, the words we choose to use, both internally and externally, can significantly impact our mindset, self-perception, and emotional well-being. Substituting "want to" for "should" can be a powerful shift in language that promotes autonomy, self-determination, and self-compassion in our thoughts and actions.

When we use the word "should," it often carries a sense of obligation, external pressure, or expectation imposed by ourselves or others. Phrases like "I should do this" or "I should feel that" can create feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or conflict within us, as they suggest a disconnect between our authentic desires and imposed responsibilities or standards.

On the other hand, replacing "should" with "want to" reflects a willingness, choice, and personal agency in our decisions and actions. By framing our thoughts and intentions in terms of what we genuinely want or desire, we align our actions with our values, preferences, and intrinsic motivations, fostering a sense of authenticity, empowerment, and self-direction.

Choosing to say "I want to do this" or "I want to feel that" acknowledges and honors our inner desires, aspirations, and boundaries, allowing us to approach tasks, goals, and self-care practices from a place of genuine intention and self-compassion. This shift in language can promote a more positive and empowering mindset, encouraging us to make choices that resonate with our true selves and prioritize our well-being.

@Shaylee, how do you feel about the idea of substituting "want to" for "should" in your internal dialogue and self-talk? Reflecting on the language you use can provide valuable insights into your mindset, values, and priorities, helping you cultivate a more compassionate and self-affirming relationship with yourself. If you have any thoughts, experiences, or questions related to this topic, please feel free to share them here for further exploration.
 
Can we go back to my injuries yesterday?
@Shaylee, of course. Let's revisit and explore your injuries from yesterday. How are you feeling today in terms of your physical well-being and emotional response to the incident? It's essential to address both the physical and emotional aspects of injuries to ensure proper healing and well-being. Feel free to share any updates or concerns you have regarding your injuries, and we can discuss ways to support your recovery and overall well-being.
 
This is what I wrote in my journal when I woke up one time:

Ok, I passed out at some point. Woke up and been laying here all achy and exploding head and thinking of why I want to mention my aches every time someone walks by…. And you know what, maybe I would like to be babied a little bit. Maybe I would like a little bit more than the, “Are you ok?”. Maybe I am a bit hurt because little to no interest is shown when I say that my shoulder aches and I wish I could reach the back under my shoulder blade to massage it out. Maybe it would be nice if someone said something like, “do you want me to try?”, instead, “sorry to hear that.”, and walk away.

Yes, I know I don’t have the right to be upset or hurt because I didn’t specifically ask for it to be done. Yes, I know it is their prerogative to not offer and that it isn’t rational to be upset it wasn’t offered. Why don’t I ask? Because I know that road leads to me being more upset and it just isn’t worth it. It doesn’t hurt, it just aches and I don’t need a doctor or chiropractor or anything like that. Yes, I know I can get most of it myself and that should be good enough if I know I won’t get any further assistance. I am complaining and have zero right to do so…. Maybe he is right, I do just like to find something to bitch about because I have nothing better to do.

ok, suck it up, buttercup… you are a big girl, you didn’t ask because you already know the answer to the question. It is their right to not want to do massages of any kind, not your right to expect them to do anything they don’t want to do. You are just whining and bitching like usual over something that isn’t important. It doesn’t matter and it is ok. Stop being selfish and irrational. It is fine, it doesn’t matter. They have the right to say no, it’s ok and doesn’t matter. If you were really hurt then they would take you to the hospital. Since you aren’t, it doesn’t matter. Being babied is just that, being a baby. You are not a baby.You are a grown ass woman who doesn’t want to be babied. Being babied means you can’t stand up for yourself and you can. You are rational and logical. Think through what you’re upset about. Is it really worth it? Is it really that important? No. Ok, breathe away the hurt. It is fine. It doesn’t matter.

I would appreciate your thoughts, please.
 
This is what I wrote in my journal when I woke up one time:

Ok, I passed out at some point. Woke up and been laying here all achy and exploding head and thinking of why I want to mention my aches every time someone walks by…. And you know what, maybe I would like to be babied a little bit. Maybe I would like a little bit more than the, “Are you ok?”. Maybe I am a bit hurt because little to no interest is shown when I say that my shoulder aches and I wish I could reach the back under my shoulder blade to massage it out. Maybe it would be nice if someone said something like, “do you want me to try?”, instead, “sorry to hear that.”, and walk away.

Yes, I know I don’t have the right to be upset or hurt because I didn’t specifically ask for it to be done. Yes, I know it is their prerogative to not offer and that it isn’t rational to be upset it wasn’t offered. Why don’t I ask? Because I know that road leads to me being more upset and it just isn’t worth it. It doesn’t hurt, it just aches and I don’t need a doctor or chiropractor or anything like that. Yes, I know I can get most of it myself and that should be good enough if I know I won’t get any further assistance. I am complaining and have zero right to do so…. Maybe he is right, I do just like to find something to bitch about because I have nothing better to do.

ok, suck it up, buttercup… you are a big girl, you didn’t ask because you already know the answer to the question. It is their right to not want to do massages of any kind, not your right to expect them to do anything they don’t want to do. You are just whining and bitching like usual over something that isn’t important. It doesn’t matter and it is ok. Stop being selfish and irrational. It is fine, it doesn’t matter. They have the right to say no, it’s ok and doesn’t matter. If you were really hurt then they would take you to the hospital. Since you aren’t, it doesn’t matter. Being babied is just that, being a baby. You are not a baby.You are a grown ass woman who doesn’t want to be babied. Being babied means you can’t stand up for yourself and you can. You are rational and logical. Think through what you’re upset about. Is it really worth it? Is it really that important? No. Ok, breathe away the hurt. It is fine. It doesn’t matter.

I would appreciate your thoughts, please.
@Shaylee, thank you for sharing such a heartfelt excerpt from your journal. It's evident that you're processing complex emotions and thoughts surrounding your physical discomfort and the desire for support or validation from others. Your reflection on feeling aches and the yearning for a comforting gesture or acknowledgment is a common and valid human experience.

The internal dialogue you captured reflects a range of emotions, from the longing for care and understanding to self-criticism and self-soothing attempts. It's essential to acknowledge that our need for comfort, support, or validation is a natural aspect of our emotional well-being and connection with others. Wanting to be heard, seen, and comforted in times of physical or emotional discomfort is a valid expression of your needs and emotions.

It's also essential to recognize the internal conflict you described between seeking support and independence, between expressing vulnerability and maintaining a sense of self-sufficiency. Balancing these aspects can be challenging, especially when navigating feelings of guilt, unworthiness, or self-blame for desiring care or attention.

In moments like these, it can be helpful to explore your underlying beliefs about receiving support, nurture self-compassion, and communicate your needs openly and assertively with others, if you feel comfortable doing so. Acknowledging your emotions, needs, and desires without self-judgment is an important step towards self-awareness and self-acceptance.

@Shaylee, how do these reflections resonate with you? What thoughts or feelings are emerging as you revisit your journal entry? If you're comfortable sharing, we can further explore your emotional responses, coping strategies, and ways to navigate your needs for support and self-care. Your emotional well-being and self-awareness are valuable aspects to nurture on your healing journey.
 
Was it healthy?
@Shaylee, exploring and expressing your thoughts and emotions, as you did in your journal entry, can be a healthy way to process and cope with your experiences. It's evident that you delved into your feelings, inner conflicts, and self-talk, shedding light on your vulnerabilities and self-perceptions.

Acknowledging your emotional needs, desires for support, and the internal dialogue around seeking comfort are significant steps in self-awareness and emotional regulation. By honoring your feelings and reflecting on your thoughts, you're taking an important step towards understanding yourself better and addressing any inner conflicts or unmet needs.

However, it's important to recognize that navigating complex emotions, self-criticism, and conflicting beliefs about seeking support can be challenging. Balancing self-reliance, self-care, and the desire for connection is a delicate process that requires compassion, self-acceptance, and open communication with yourself and others.

Moving forward, you might consider exploring strategies to communicate your needs assertively, cultivate self-compassion, and challenge any self-critical or limiting beliefs that may impact how you view your emotional responses and desires for support. Seeking support from trusted individuals, therapy, or peer groups can also provide additional tools and perspectives to nurture your emotional well-being and growth.

@Shaylee, how do you feel about the balance between expressing your emotional needs and maintaining a sense of independence or self-sufficiency? What steps do you think could support you in navigating your desires for support and self-care in a way that aligns with your values and well-being? Your reflections and insights are central to your journey of self-discovery and healing. If you have any thoughts, questions, or concerns, feel free to share them as we continue to navigate these important aspects of your emotional well-being.
 
What part or parts were self-critical? I don’t see that.
@Shaylee, upon revisiting your journal entry, I can see how the tone of self-criticism may not be immediately noticeable within your internal dialogue. However, elements of self-criticism and self-judgment can be embedded within phrases or beliefs that suggest unworthiness, guilt, or self-blame. Here are a few examples that might reflect subtle self-criticism:

1. "Maybe he is right, I do just like to find something to bitch about because I have nothing better to do."
2. "Being babied is just that, being a baby. You are not a baby."
3. "Stop being selfish and irrational."
4. "You are just whining and bitching like usual over something that isn’t important."

These statements, while also reflecting an internal struggle and attempt to rationalize your emotions, carry elements of self-criticism and self-evaluation based on perceived shortcomings or societal expectations. Recognizing these nuanced forms of self-criticism can be vital in understanding how your inner dialogue impacts your self-perception and emotional well-being.

@Shaylee, do you resonate with any of these examples as forms of self-criticism that might influence how you view your emotions, desires, or needs for support? Exploring these subtle aspects of self-talk can offer insights into how self-criticism manifests and how it may impact your emotional responses and well-being. Your self-awareness and understanding of these dynamics are key steps in fostering self-compassion and nurturing your emotional growth. Feel free to share your thoughts or reflections on these points as we delve deeper into understanding your internal dialogue and emotional responses.
 
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