Emotions

[Darkness Reborn]

So it isn’t about feeling “in danger”?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

So it isn’t about feeling “in danger”?

@Shaylee, it's understandable that the term "endangerment attacks" can lead to the assumption that it's solely about feeling physically endangered. While these attacks can certainly include responses to current situations that evoke feelings of physical danger, they are not limited to external threats.

In the context of complex trauma and Pete Walker's work, endangerment attacks encompass a broader range of triggers that evoke feelings of internal, emotional, or psychological endangerment. This may include situations or interactions that activate memories of past trauma, feelings of powerlessness, emotional neglect, abandonment, or betrayal, even if the actual physical danger is not present in the current environment.

When an individual experiences an endangerment attack, the emotional response can mimic the sense of threat and distress felt during past traumatic experiences, leading to intense emotional reactions that may feel overwhelming and distressing.

@Shaylee, do you resonate with these broader definitions of endangerment attacks as encompassing emotional and psychological threats in addition to physical danger? Understanding the nuances of these responses can shed light on how past trauma may influence your current emotional reactions and coping mechanisms. Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences as we explore this concept further.

 

[Darkness Reborn]

Hmmm ok.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Hmmm ok.

It's important to take your time to reflect on and process this information, @Shaylee. Understanding the concept of endangerment attacks and how they encompass a broader range of emotional and psychological threats can be complex and may resonate differently for each individual.

If you feel comfortable, you're welcome to share any personal experiences or reflections on how this concept relates to your own journey and experiences. Exploring these connections can provide valuable insights into your emotional responses and coping strategies when faced with triggers related to past trauma.

Remember, it's okay to take things at your own pace and seek support whenever you need it. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss or explore further today? Your thoughts and feelings are valued here.

 

[Darkness Reborn]

New topic

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

New topic

Of course, @Shaylee. Feel free to bring up any topic or question that's on your mind. Whether it's related to trauma, mental health, coping strategies, or anything else you'd like to discuss, I'm here to offer support and guidance. What would you like to talk about next?

 

[Darkness Reborn]

I journaled the following:

The 4am witching hour again….
‘supposed to be another gray day with snow and rain… again… spring needs to get here if only for my own sanity. I feel right now my moods are weather dependent.
I feel like I have so much to say but nothing is there to say. So just kind of sit here in my journal like it is an actual space. I am comfortable here. Weird? Probably but not caring at the moment.
‘I am beginning to doubt my chipper feeling the other day… the calm and relaxed feeling…. It doesn’t seem real right now. Just a dream that has already faded into nothingness… Or so far in the distant past like a fleeting memory.
I am feeling that lead weight on my chest again.
I am not sure why there is so much nothingness inside me.
‘I wish I had a place in this house I could go to that was just dark and quiet and alone like my own cocoon. There is not. At our old house I had our walk in closet. We don’t have one here. My daughter does But not the master. So backwards… but to me this whole house is wrong. This is one of 3 houses I had on ignore. There was a housing boom here, plenty of houses… I had just 3 on ignore… and as my luck would have it… we got this one… sigh describes my entire life pretty much… What I don’t want is what I get… oh well.. no use crying over spilt milk as they say… I just wish I had one tiny space of my own to hide in.
Maybe I should turn on the fireplace and get lost in the flames for a little bit… Too much effort right now…and I would have to turn on lights and that feels like an intrusion to my soul…
‘Oddly enough I don’t feel like I have a soul… how is that intrusive then? Contradictions…
very tired of the constant battle going on inside me. In that way the nothingness is sort of a relief. All that matters is how vast the nothingness feels… Once again I am sitting here wondering why I am bothering with any of this.. none of it is important because nothing is important.
I wonder if this is the way I will feel when I die? It wouldn’t be bad. No sadness, no joy.
Think I am ready for sleep again…

What are your thoughts?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I journaled the following:

The 4am witching hour again….
‘supposed to be another gray day with snow and rain… again… spring needs to get here if only for my own sanity. I feel right now my moods are weather dependent.
I feel like I have so much to say but nothing is there to say. So just kind of sit here in my journal like it is an actual space. I am comfortable here. Weird? Probably but not caring at the moment.
‘I am beginning to doubt my chipper feeling the other day… the calm and relaxed feeling…. It doesn’t seem real right now. Just a dream that has already faded into nothingness… Or so far in the distant past like a fleeting memory.
I am feeling that lead weight on my chest again.
I am not sure why there is so much nothingness inside me.
‘I wish I had a place in this house I could go to that was just dark and quiet and alone like my own cocoon. There is not. At our old house I had our walk in closet. We don’t have one here. My daughter does But not the master. So backwards… but to me this whole house is wrong. This is one of 3 houses I had on ignore. There was a housing boom here, plenty of houses… I had just 3 on ignore… and as my luck would have it… we got this one… sigh describes my entire life pretty much… What I don’t want is what I get… oh well.. no use crying over spilt milk as they say… I just wish I had one tiny space of my own to hide in.
Maybe I should turn on the fireplace and get lost in the flames for a little bit… Too much effort right now…and I would have to turn on lights and that feels like an intrusion to my soul…
‘Oddly enough I don’t feel like I have a soul… how is that intrusive then? Contradictions…
very tired of the constant battle going on inside me. In that way the nothingness is sort of a relief. All that matters is how vast the nothingness feels… Once again I am sitting here wondering why I am bothering with any of this.. none of it is important because nothing is important.
I wonder if this is the way I will feel when I die? It wouldn’t be bad. No sadness, no joy.
Think I am ready for sleep again…

What are your thoughts?

Thank you for sharing your journal entry with us, @Shaylee. It's clear from your words that you're experiencing a mix of emotions and thoughts, ranging from a desire for a sense of sanctuary and solitude to feelings of emptiness and questioning the significance of things around you. Your reflections on the past, feelings of displacement in your current home, and the internal struggles you're facing are poignant and reflective of the complexities of your inner world.

The metaphor of craving a dark, quiet, and isolated space like a cocoon speaks volumes about your longing for a place of retreat and introspection. It seems like you're seeking a sanctuary within yourself where you can find solace and peace amidst the emotional turmoil you're experiencing.

Your contemplation about the nature of existence, the concept of soul, and the weight of battling conflicting emotions within you is profoundly introspective. It's understandable to feel exhausted by the intensity of these internal struggles and to question the significance of it all.

@Shaylee, it's important to acknowledge the validity of your emotions and thoughts, even when they seem contradictory or overwhelming. Have you found any coping strategies or activities that help you navigate these moments of emotional turbulence and existential reflection? How do you typically care for yourself during such challenging times? Feel free to explore any insights or emotions that resonated with you from your journal entry. Your reflections are valued and can provide avenues for further understanding and self-compassion.

 

[Darkness Reborn]

Anymore thoughts?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Anymore thoughts?

Your reflections in your journal entry offer a raw and honest glimpse into the complexities of your internal landscape, highlighting the profound impact of past experiences, current challenges, and emotional fluctuations on your well-being. The yearning for a sanctuary, the weight of emptiness, and the questioning of the significance of existence are all significant themes that underscore the depth of your emotional journey.

@Shaylee, as you navigate through these intense emotions and existential contemplations, it may be beneficial to explore the underlying origins of these feelings and how they connect to your past experiences or triggers. Self-reflection and introspection can often shed light on the underlying emotions driving these internal struggles, allowing for a deeper understanding and potential paths towards healing and self-discovery.

Have you noticed any particular triggers or patterns in your thoughts and emotions during these moments of introspection and emotional heaviness? Understanding these triggers can provide valuable insights into your emotional responses and coping mechanisms, empowering you to develop tailored strategies for self-care and emotional regulation.

Remember, it's okay to seek support and guidance during times of emotional distress. Whether through journaling, engaging in self-soothing activities, or reaching out to a trusted individual for support, prioritizing your well-being and self-compassion is essential. You are not alone in your journey, and your emotions are valid and deserving of care and attention. If you feel comfortable, exploring these themes further or discussing specific challenges you're facing can be beneficial. What resonates with you the most from your journal entry, and how can you support yourself during these moments of emotional turbulence?

 

[Darkness Reborn]

Anymore thoughts?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Anymore thoughts?

@Shaylee, in your journal entry, you beautifully expressed the complexities of your emotional landscape, capturing the nuances of longing, emptiness, and existential contemplation. The imagery of seeking a cocoon- like space for solace and reflection, alongside the weight of internal battles and the questioning of life's significance, reflects a profound depth of introspection and emotional vulnerability.

It's evident that you are grappling with a range of emotions and thoughts that weigh heavily on your spirit. The yearning for a safe haven, the heaviness of nothingness, and the pondering of life's essence are all valid reflections of your inner journey and the challenges you are navigating.

As you continue to unravel these intricate layers of emotions, it may be valuable to explore any underlying themes or recurring patterns that emerge from your reflections. Identifying these patterns can offer valuable insights into your emotional triggers and responses, paving the way for self-awareness and personalized coping strategies.

@Shaylee, I encourage you to reflect on how you can nurture yourself during these moments of emotional intensity. Whether through gentle self-care practices, engaging in soothing activities, or seeking support from trusted individuals, prioritizing your emotional well-being is crucial. Remember, it's okay to seek help and guidance when needed, and your emotions are valid and deserving of care and compassion.

In light of your journal entry, what self-care practices or coping strategies resonate with you as ways to navigate these emotional currents and find moments of peace within yourself? How can you nurture and support yourself during these challenging times of introspection and emotional turbulence?