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Emotions

So, I love cats. I became allergic about 20 years ago. However almost daily for three weeks I have been seeing my neighbor’s cat, they are looking to rehome, and so far no reactions at all. I am absolutely thrilled over this. So I am going to adopt her. I just bought the rest of her cat stuff today…. However all of the sudden I am have … like a panic attack? I thought at first it was excitement but I now don’t think so.

What if I become allergic to her the second she comes in the house?
My husband does not like cats so what if he makes me get rid of her?
What if she only likes me over at their house? What if she comes over here and dies from being separated from them and I didn’t notice the signs?….

there are lots more questions streaming through my brain but that is the gist…
 
So, I love cats. I became allergic about 20 years ago. However almost daily for three weeks I have been seeing my neighbor’s cat, they are looking to rehome, and so far no reactions at all. I am absolutely thrilled over this. So I am going to adopt her. I just bought the rest of her cat stuff today…. However all of the sudden I am have … like a panic attack? I thought at first it was excitement but I now don’t think so.

What if I become allergic to her the second she comes in the house?
My husband does not like cats so what if he makes me get rid of her?
What if she only likes me over at their house? What if she comes over here and dies from being separated from them and I didn’t notice the signs?….

there are lots more questions streaming through my brain but that is the gist…
It's wonderful to hear about your love for cats and your intention to adopt your neighbor's cat. The anticipation and excitement of bringing a new furry friend into your home can be a mix of joy and anxiety, especially with concerns about potential allergies, your husband's feelings about cats, and the well-being of the cat in the transition process.

@Shaylee, it's understandable to feel a range of emotions when embarking on a new journey, especially one involving a beloved animal companion. It's not uncommon to experience a surge of worries and "what if" scenarios as you prepare for this significant change. Your concerns about potential allergic reactions, your husband's preferences, and the cat's adjustment are valid and deserve attention.

To navigate these anxieties, it might be helpful to break down your concerns into manageable pieces and explore potential solutions or strategies for each scenario. Have you considered discussing your worries with your husband to address his feelings and find common ground regarding the cat's presence in your home? Open communication and understanding each other's perspectives could help alleviate some concerns.

Regarding potential allergies, have you spoken to a healthcare provider about your recent experiences with the neighbor's cat and the possibility of developing allergies? They can provide guidance on managing allergies and steps to take if allergic reactions occur after the cat's arrival. Additionally, gradual introductions and creating a safe space for the cat initially might help in monitoring any reactions.

As you prepare to welcome the cat into your home, remember that it's natural to have these concerns when embarking on a new chapter. Taking things one step at a time, seeking support from loved ones, and being prepared for different outcomes can help ease some of the anxiety surrounding this transition. How can you address these worries one by one and prepare yourself for the adjustments and uncertainties that may come with bringing the cat home?
 
My heart rate keeps skyrocketing…
@Shaylee, I hear you describing a significant increase in your heart rate, which can be distressing, especially when coupled with feelings of anxiety and worry. It's important to prioritize your well-being and address these physical symptoms to ensure you are feeling grounded and supported during this challenging time.

When you notice your heart rate escalating, taking deep, slow breaths can help activate your body's relaxation response and calm your nervous system. You might try inhaling deeply through your nose, holding the breath for a few seconds, and exhaling slowly through your mouth. This rhythmic breathing technique can assist in regulating your heart rate and easing feelings of anxiety.

Additionally, grounding exercises can help anchor you in the present moment and alleviate feelings of overwhelm. One grounding technique involves focusing on your senses: name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise can help bring your attention back to the present and reduce the intensity of physical symptoms.

@Shaylee, it may also be beneficial to engage in activities that promote relaxation and mindfulness, such as gentle stretching, guided meditation, or listening to calming music. Prioritizing self-care and attending to your emotional and physical needs is crucial during moments of heightened anxiety and physical distress.

If your heart rate continues to remain elevated or you are experiencing persistent symptoms of anxiety, it may be helpful to consult with a healthcare provider or mental health professional for further support and guidance. Remember, you deserve to feel supported and cared for during times of distress. How are you feeling now, and what self-soothing techniques resonate with you in this moment of heightened anxiety?
 
I was fine with everything until I finished buying everything today…
@Shaylee, it sounds like the completion of purchasing all the necessary items for the cat may have triggered a wave of intense emotions and anxiety for you. Sometimes, reaching a significant milestone or making a final decision can bring up unexpected feelings and uncertainties, especially when faced with upcoming changes or transitions.

The culmination of buying everything for the cat may have heightened your sense of reality regarding this new responsibility and the potential challenges that come with it. It's normal to experience a mix of emotions, including excitement, nervousness, and apprehension, as you prepare to welcome a new furry family member into your home.

It might be helpful to explore the specific thoughts and feelings that emerged after completing the preparations for the cat. What thoughts or concerns are coming to the forefront of your mind now that everything is in place? Are there specific worries or doubts that have intensified since finalizing the purchase of supplies?

Reflecting on these thoughts and emotions can offer insight into the underlying causes of your heightened anxiety and help you address them more effectively. Seeking support from loved ones, engaging in relaxation techniques, and allowing yourself time to process these emotions can aid in managing the intense feelings that have arisen.

@Shaylee, remember to be gentle with yourself during this time of heightened emotional sensitivity. It's okay to feel a range of emotions as you navigate this significant life change. How can you support yourself through these moments of increased anxiety and uncertainty as you prepare to bring the cat into your home?
 
New topic
Of course, @Shaylee. Whenever you're ready to discuss a new topic or if there's anything else on your mind that you'd like to explore or share, feel free to let me know. I'm here to support you through any challenges or thoughts you'd like to discuss. What would you like to talk about or focus on next?
 
“We need to mourn the myriad heartbreaks of our frustrated attempts to win approval and affection”

Excerpt From
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Pete Walker

but why that’s what I don’t understand is why. They say it’s death like because we didn’t get this fairytale childhood but it isn’t like it’s real death so I don’t get the need to mourn something just because we didn’t experience it.

how can you grieve for something if you never had it. And the idea of reparenting. Just such a nasty thought. This “knowledge can guide you to reparent and interact with yourself more nurturingly.” Just makes me want to gag and vomit.
 
“We need to mourn the myriad heartbreaks of our frustrated attempts to win approval and affection”

Excerpt From
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
Pete Walker

but why that’s what I don’t understand is why. They say it’s death like because we didn’t get this fairytale childhood but it isn’t like it’s real death so I don’t get the need to mourn something just because we didn’t experience it.

how can you grieve for something if you never had it. And the idea of reparenting. Just such a nasty thought. This “knowledge can guide you to reparent and interact with yourself more nurturingly.” Just makes me want to gag and vomit.
@Shaylee, I hear you expressing deep resistance and discomfort towards the concept of mourning the unmet needs and childhood experiences that have contributed to your emotional wounds. It's understandable that grappling with the idea of grieving for something you never had can evoke complex and conflicting emotions, such as disbelief, anger, and repulsion.

The notion of mourning the absence of a fairytale childhood or unmet needs can be challenging because it requires acknowledging the pain and loss stemming from those unfulfilled experiences. While it may not equate to a physical death, the emotional impact of unmet needs and adverse childhood experiences can leave lasting scars and shape how we view ourselves and the world around us.

Grieving these unresolved traumas and unmet needs is a process of recognizing the significance of what was missing in our lives and allowing ourselves to honor the emotional wounds that resulted from those deficits. It's about validating our inner child's pain, offering compassion to ourselves, and integrating these experiences into our healing journey.

The concept of reparenting can indeed evoke strong reactions, as it involves nurturing and caring for oneself in ways that may feel foreign or uncomfortable, especially if we didn't receive that kind of support in childhood. Reparenting is an essential aspect of self-compassion and healing, as it involves providing the love, validation, and care that may have been lacking in our early years.

@Shaylee, it's okay to feel resistant or repulsed by the idea of reparenting and grieving for unmet needs. Exploring these feelings with curiosity and openness can offer insight into the deep wounds that require healing and allow you to gradually cultivate a more nurturing and compassionate relationship with yourself. How do you feel about taking small steps towards acknowledging and processing these challenging emotions, even if they stir discomfort within you?
 
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