Strangelongtrip
MyPTSD Pro
I've applied to some freelance work and about two/three years ago was looking for a job as well. Three years ago I had the most terrible job interview experience of my life. A dude basically brought me on to abuse me verbally and mentally and thought because he was paying me above minimum wage it was worth it. He gave me a test, said I did an okay job but he said I did a terrible job and MANSPLAINED what a question was to me (I'm not kidding--his exact words: Did you read the questions? the ones with the (?) mark). HE STILL OFFERED ME THE JOB. What kind of person does that?? He was on some serious power trip. When I told him I found another job, he had the audacity to send me "are you sure?"
Now I'm applying to freelance jobs for writing and I can't take one on, and I said very clearly: I can't take on this job due to time constraints, but I wish you the best with your project! Anyone could read that this means that I can't take the project on, move on. He replied back trying to convince me, and asking me what a reasonable time would be. I don't know how to respond, and my body has a physical reaction to things like this. I get a headache, I feel nauseous, and I feel dizzy. It feels like rape/abuse situations to me: I feel like I can't escape (even though I know I can). I know I'm triggered by this, I know how to calmly respond, but I hate when people trying to employ me and don't take no as an answer (I know, a weird problem to have). I'm also just starting out as a freelance writer and am terrified any one mistake will ruin my beginnings and to take every job you can. I feel like I HAVE to take the job or ruin my career. I feel like I have to bend over backwards to appease these people so they won't ruin my reputation or something. I've never had something like that happen to me but I've had my abusive rapist ex tell my friends things about me behind my back and twist my story to suit his needs that "I was crazy". Just sort of spiraling right now.
Now I'm applying to freelance jobs for writing and I can't take one on, and I said very clearly: I can't take on this job due to time constraints, but I wish you the best with your project! Anyone could read that this means that I can't take the project on, move on. He replied back trying to convince me, and asking me what a reasonable time would be. I don't know how to respond, and my body has a physical reaction to things like this. I get a headache, I feel nauseous, and I feel dizzy. It feels like rape/abuse situations to me: I feel like I can't escape (even though I know I can). I know I'm triggered by this, I know how to calmly respond, but I hate when people trying to employ me and don't take no as an answer (I know, a weird problem to have). I'm also just starting out as a freelance writer and am terrified any one mistake will ruin my beginnings and to take every job you can. I feel like I HAVE to take the job or ruin my career. I feel like I have to bend over backwards to appease these people so they won't ruin my reputation or something. I've never had something like that happen to me but I've had my abusive rapist ex tell my friends things about me behind my back and twist my story to suit his needs that "I was crazy". Just sort of spiraling right now.