I finally decided to try an online diary, with the reminder to myself what is put the web stays on the web.
It was a really tough week....I forgot and let my guard down....thinking I would try to be more positive and have a little hope that good things can happen to me..I had been saving a little every month so my son's and I could have a family vacation as it had been over five years since the last one. The day I took the money I had saved out of the bank, the car we were to take wouldn't start. $140 later for a new battery, I had a car which ran for all of ten miles and then died on my son as he was coming home from work, so we had to have car towed. $108 later the shop confirmed it was the alternator. Just great ....$450 for new parts and labor. Car finally ready for travel though now funds significantly less.
Tried positive thinking again as I wanted to have a fun time with my son's. Arrive to hotel first night to find rooms haven't been cleaned yet. Grrr...go get something to eat and on way back to hotel the windshield gets cracked...enough it isn't safe to drive. Thank goodness for car insurance. Next morning head to shop to get fixed. Friend and her family upset at me for "taking big chunk out of their vacation time." This was said after she angrily yelled allowed she knew she shouldn't have traveled with me. I was already massively stressed and truly didn't need her rudeness. Only took little over hour that they would have spent sleeping.
Fell and scratched up my knees at end of hike. Wouldn't be the last fall of the vacation either. My friend continued to be rude to me for most of the trip. I continued to bottle it up until deciding maybe doing this diary would help me calm. I took my anxiety medicine as recommended and mentioned to do called friend she may need some too. I felt verbally abused most of the trip. While she is normally my supportive friend, she was totally different when traveling to a new place.
To top it off, I ended up with bronchitis. I decided I wasn't going to let it stop me, but now am really drained. Ironically, when my friend asked her youngest son what he liked best about the trip, he said all the new things he saw. When asked what he liked least, it wasn't being cold most the trip like his mom expected, it was the yelling she did at me. I didn't once responded back to her rudeness, especially in front of her son, but now I can feel the anger, resentment, and feelings of how my dad treated me. I am wanting to hurt myself to relieve the feelings, but know that isn't an acceptable option.
It was a really tough week....I forgot and let my guard down....thinking I would try to be more positive and have a little hope that good things can happen to me..I had been saving a little every month so my son's and I could have a family vacation as it had been over five years since the last one. The day I took the money I had saved out of the bank, the car we were to take wouldn't start. $140 later for a new battery, I had a car which ran for all of ten miles and then died on my son as he was coming home from work, so we had to have car towed. $108 later the shop confirmed it was the alternator. Just great ....$450 for new parts and labor. Car finally ready for travel though now funds significantly less.
Tried positive thinking again as I wanted to have a fun time with my son's. Arrive to hotel first night to find rooms haven't been cleaned yet. Grrr...go get something to eat and on way back to hotel the windshield gets cracked...enough it isn't safe to drive. Thank goodness for car insurance. Next morning head to shop to get fixed. Friend and her family upset at me for "taking big chunk out of their vacation time." This was said after she angrily yelled allowed she knew she shouldn't have traveled with me. I was already massively stressed and truly didn't need her rudeness. Only took little over hour that they would have spent sleeping.
Fell and scratched up my knees at end of hike. Wouldn't be the last fall of the vacation either. My friend continued to be rude to me for most of the trip. I continued to bottle it up until deciding maybe doing this diary would help me calm. I took my anxiety medicine as recommended and mentioned to do called friend she may need some too. I felt verbally abused most of the trip. While she is normally my supportive friend, she was totally different when traveling to a new place.
To top it off, I ended up with bronchitis. I decided I wasn't going to let it stop me, but now am really drained. Ironically, when my friend asked her youngest son what he liked best about the trip, he said all the new things he saw. When asked what he liked least, it wasn't being cold most the trip like his mom expected, it was the yelling she did at me. I didn't once responded back to her rudeness, especially in front of her son, but now I can feel the anger, resentment, and feelings of how my dad treated me. I am wanting to hurt myself to relieve the feelings, but know that isn't an acceptable option.