Friday
Moderator
I’ve spent the last 14 days trying to save up enough Chutzpah to deal with... paperwork... that “needs” to be in by the 17th. I’m not there, yet. I may not get there by the 17th. Which will cost me thousands of dollars. And which also left me dead-eyed, blinking like a fish, as my mom talked at me about other paperwork. (Nope. No mental energy to even listen, much less engage, as I’m saving it for this other thing. That, no. I will also not talk about.)
My best friend’s dad’s funeral? A man I loved dearly? I sat on my car, a block away, until I was beyond certain that the entire service was over and the last of the mourners gone. Not on purpose. I just couldn’t physically make myself move down there.
But the kind of trouble people run away from? I run towards.
The kinds of things that “everyone” hates, but they suck it up and do anyway? I’d usually rather eat my own gun. Not metaphorically. Those papers I WANT to complete by the 17th, actually freaking WANT to? I’m delaying just because I know nothing NOT worth killing for, is worth dying over. A few grand? Is not what my life is worth. f*ck off.
I know... roughly... the categories of things
- I can handle, no sweat (or even mad bonus)
- Easy in the moment, I’ll pay later (and worth it)
- I’m used to it.
- RIGHT where my avoidance kicks in to save my own sanity / livability of my life
- Where I have to work my effing ass off to accomplish (with huge costs)
- Things I would rather die, than do
This thing that I’d presently rather die, than do? I could (and am working hard to) move it up the list to where it’s manageable but at huge cost. I could even move it up “I’m used to it.” If I did it every day. That’s not gonna happen / it’s not that valuable to me... although there are other things I have done so.
I know it’s stress cup stuff. Certain things... just drop mentos in the coke bottle. Other things shake the bottle, but can be worked around, by tapping madly at the can to resaturate via sound waves.
It was one of those supporter Q’s that listed 2 things... one that’s a benefit and one that’s effing hard, for me, that their sufferer finds both hard. I just sorta know... this, no worries. That? Ain’t gonna happen. This other? Maybe. Got me thinking if other people just “know” (&/or learn by experience) which sorta group something falls under? Or if they’re more discretely grouped and worked around or worked on?
My best friend’s dad’s funeral? A man I loved dearly? I sat on my car, a block away, until I was beyond certain that the entire service was over and the last of the mourners gone. Not on purpose. I just couldn’t physically make myself move down there.
But the kind of trouble people run away from? I run towards.
The kinds of things that “everyone” hates, but they suck it up and do anyway? I’d usually rather eat my own gun. Not metaphorically. Those papers I WANT to complete by the 17th, actually freaking WANT to? I’m delaying just because I know nothing NOT worth killing for, is worth dying over. A few grand? Is not what my life is worth. f*ck off.
I know... roughly... the categories of things
- I can handle, no sweat (or even mad bonus)
- Easy in the moment, I’ll pay later (and worth it)
- I’m used to it.
- RIGHT where my avoidance kicks in to save my own sanity / livability of my life
- Where I have to work my effing ass off to accomplish (with huge costs)
- Things I would rather die, than do
This thing that I’d presently rather die, than do? I could (and am working hard to) move it up the list to where it’s manageable but at huge cost. I could even move it up “I’m used to it.” If I did it every day. That’s not gonna happen / it’s not that valuable to me... although there are other things I have done so.
I know it’s stress cup stuff. Certain things... just drop mentos in the coke bottle. Other things shake the bottle, but can be worked around, by tapping madly at the can to resaturate via sound waves.
It was one of those supporter Q’s that listed 2 things... one that’s a benefit and one that’s effing hard, for me, that their sufferer finds both hard. I just sorta know... this, no worries. That? Ain’t gonna happen. This other? Maybe. Got me thinking if other people just “know” (&/or learn by experience) which sorta group something falls under? Or if they’re more discretely grouped and worked around or worked on?