New here and hoping to find some comfort. I'm not great at opening up to therapists so other then being diagnosed, I really haven't been back because I find it difficult to talk about experiences with people on the other side of a desk that have no idea what I've been thru.
I thought my PTSD was relatively new, in 4/17 my mother passed away unexpectedly and that same night after I came home from the hospital, I grabbed a glass of wine and headed for the patio to relax. It was late, or early (2am) and I heard a car speeding on the road behind the house which leads to a dead end. I heard the car crash and immediately started running, called 911 and about the same time started seeing smoke as the car had crashed into a tree in the field. When I got to the car the engine was on fire and the 911 operator told me not to get near it but, I couldn't help but try and help. I tried to open all the doors. All of them were locked or jarred shut, I could see a person. I could hear myself screaming. Then the explosion. I went back about 20 feet, I didn't get hurt at all. The ambulance and police showed up about 2 minutes later. They eventually found my husband who was home sleeping and had no idea I was even gone. It turns out the person was a 19 year old girl that had set out to commit suicide.
I can't even look in that direction anymore. It breaks my heart.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me went deeper and found that the PTSD started when I was molested that started when I was 11. That the accident just brought it to the surface.
I thought my PTSD was relatively new, in 4/17 my mother passed away unexpectedly and that same night after I came home from the hospital, I grabbed a glass of wine and headed for the patio to relax. It was late, or early (2am) and I heard a car speeding on the road behind the house which leads to a dead end. I heard the car crash and immediately started running, called 911 and about the same time started seeing smoke as the car had crashed into a tree in the field. When I got to the car the engine was on fire and the 911 operator told me not to get near it but, I couldn't help but try and help. I tried to open all the doors. All of them were locked or jarred shut, I could see a person. I could hear myself screaming. Then the explosion. I went back about 20 feet, I didn't get hurt at all. The ambulance and police showed up about 2 minutes later. They eventually found my husband who was home sleeping and had no idea I was even gone. It turns out the person was a 19 year old girl that had set out to commit suicide.
I can't even look in that direction anymore. It breaks my heart.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me went deeper and found that the PTSD started when I was molested that started when I was 11. That the accident just brought it to the surface.