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Sufferer Every day reminder - witnessed suicidal crash, survived explosion and childhood abuse

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Jstevens

New Here
New here and hoping to find some comfort. I'm not great at opening up to therapists so other then being diagnosed, I really haven't been back because I find it difficult to talk about experiences with people on the other side of a desk that have no idea what I've been thru.
I thought my PTSD was relatively new, in 4/17 my mother passed away unexpectedly and that same night after I came home from the hospital, I grabbed a glass of wine and headed for the patio to relax. It was late, or early (2am) and I heard a car speeding on the road behind the house which leads to a dead end. I heard the car crash and immediately started running, called 911 and about the same time started seeing smoke as the car had crashed into a tree in the field. When I got to the car the engine was on fire and the 911 operator told me not to get near it but, I couldn't help but try and help. I tried to open all the doors. All of them were locked or jarred shut, I could see a person. I could hear myself screaming. Then the explosion. I went back about 20 feet, I didn't get hurt at all. The ambulance and police showed up about 2 minutes later. They eventually found my husband who was home sleeping and had no idea I was even gone. It turns out the person was a 19 year old girl that had set out to commit suicide.
I can't even look in that direction anymore. It breaks my heart.
The psychiatrist who diagnosed me went deeper and found that the PTSD started when I was molested that started when I was 11. That the accident just brought it to the surface.
 
Welcome. Sorry for the experience that knocked the top off of the PTSD. What a horrible thing to witness.

Hope you read around the forum, find topics that resonate with you, start threads if you have questions, or just need to vent or share..

This is a wonder filled place to belong. It has brought me new knowledge, new experiances, and new friends.. very glad you are here.

Gentle hugs if you accept. :hug:
 
Hi jstevens

Welcome. Sorry for what you have been through. It happens like that something happens and PTSD comes rushing out. Lot of great people here. You are not alone in this anymore.

Peace be safe

Esterio
 
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