DID Every Part wants to do something different

Wilma

Learning
It seems today everyone of my parts wants to do something different and in the end nothing gets done. I started decluttering the office, which really needs to be done. But I can't stay on track because a part is deeply depressed and the young ones don't like adult stuff anyway. One of them cried earlier because she wanted to go to our former therapist.
Another part just wants to leave and never look back.
And I just want to do some adult stuff, so that when I start work again next week (only 1 day a week) at least the apartment is somewhat liveable
This chaos is overwhelming. Anyone have any suggestions?
 

Friday

Moderator
And I just want to do some adult stuff, so that when I start work again next week (only 1 day a week) at least the apartment is somewhat liveable

I’ve yet to meet an adult task that can’t be made fun for kids?

There’s races, and games, and pride in helping, and gradually increasing levels of responsibility, and laughter, and teamwork, and high fives, and an all around good time.
 
Last edited:

JadeB.

MyPTSD Pro
Hey @Wilma

Have you tried compromising? Deciding that if we do "X" first then we can do "Y" later? Letting insiders know that certain things have to be done but that you will make time for what everyone else wants to do at different or scheduled times?
 

Wilma

Learning
Hey @Wilma

Have you tried compromising? Deciding that if we do "X" first then we can do "Y" later? Letting insiders know that certain things have to be done but that you will make time for what everyone else wants to do at different or scheduled times?
I'm kind of new at this DID thing. Well, actually I've the Diagnosis for like 2 years but I have been unwilling and still have problems accepting it. It just feels crazy.
Hence communication has not happened a whole lot.
But I guess there's no way around.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
When I'm housecleaning, I write all the individual cleaning tasks on sticky notes (pieces of paper will do just as well) and throw them in the trash each time I complete a task. I don't add any more tasks on paper for the day......because tossing them is rewarding and I feel accomplished each time I do....which motivates me to keep going. When I get two chores done, I can take a break and watch about 30 min of TV, or the length of a sitcom (20-25 min). I usually decide what the show is before I get started.....no movie length shows. I can take lunch or dinner breaks at that time, too.

I do house chores to rather loud music which helps to remove the yucky "gotta do chores" feeling. If I'm standing at the sink doing dishes, I sing loudly. If I'm picking up and move laundry, I dance my way around the house or walk to the beat of the music. Organizing "tasks" are done when energy is getting lower.....and I'm waning....because I can sit and watch a show while I organize. I also save those mundane tasks for evenings when I can't get to sleep early......if I'm not sleeping, I'm matching socks, cleaning a drawer, doing those kinds of chores. When I'm done, and have no more sticky notes, I sit down and have a yazzo fudge bar, and either work on a puzzle, or watch a show. You could hold a show to the end that your younger parts would like......and make a milkshake.....popcorn.....a treat for helping accomplish housework. But to make it....I have to take breaks......and play basket with the yellow stickynotes. Good luck there.
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
This chaos is overwhelming. Anyone have any suggestions?
Have you tried making up a schedule? Parts (for me, anyway) give a whole heck of a lot of conflicting thoughts/ideas etc. I found when I started making up a 'this is what I do and when' breakdown of my day things really started to settle down. Every morning I hop in the shower. No.questions.asked. Right after that I get dressed. Again, no questions asked. Then I juice. Etc. Etc. Etc. I found the more I stuck to a schedule. If there was conflicting stuff going on in my head about something I would default to whatever was of greatest benefit to my bodies health. I was amazed when I noticed how much energy I had when I wasn't waging a war inside about every goddam thing I intended on doing during the day.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Have you tried making up a schedule? Parts (for me, anyway) give a whole heck of a lot of conflicting thoughts/ideas etc. I found when I started making up a 'this is what I do and when' breakdown of my day things really started to settle down. Every morning I hop in the shower. No.questions.asked. Right after that I get dressed. Again, no questions asked. Then I juice. Etc. Etc. Etc. I found the more I stuck to a schedule. If there was conflicting stuff going on in my head about something I would default to whatever was of greatest benefit to my bodies health. I was amazed when I noticed how much energy I had when I wasn't waging a war inside about every goddam thing I intended on doing during the day.
I think that is a great idea. Yours sounds more like a morning routine.....then the daily stuff. I was writing down every thing I'd do in the day-making a schedule-....less the daily routine. Those things aren't getting done as regular as they should. .....maybe making a morning routine in addition to the extra things I'll do during the day will help me, too. Thanks @shimmerz
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Hence communication has not happened a whole lot.
But I guess there's no way around.
Communication is the absolute key. What makes us feel crazy in the chaos and the disorder. When you start to learn to communicate, you gradually begin to reign that chaos in and work together. You will likely still have some disruptions and feelings of being out-of-control, but it will be much more manageable.
 

Wilma

Learning
Thanks for all your replies.

@JadeB. I do that sometimes. But sometimes I just feel rediculous doing kids stuff. I know I shouldn't but I do.

@TruthSeeker I like the Idea of the sticky notes and will definitely try that. And yes, breaks are important as my energy is still pretty limited.

@shimmerz I have a hard time sticking to set routines. I can stick to them for a few weeks but after that either I feel trapped (not quite sure why that is) or sometimes I just put too much in a day and I end up exhausted after a few weeks. But I do realize routines make life easier in some way and am working on it.

@whiteraven I understand the communication thing and I don't. And I can see that that is part of the problem and I don't see it as a problem. Someday I just think I'm imagining this whole thing and others it seems so real. And. Somehow I am suprised again everytime something "strange" happens.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I understand the communication thing and I don't. And I can see that that is part of the problem and I don't see it as a problem. Someday I just think I'm imagining this whole thing and others it seems so real. And. Somehow I am suprised again everytime something "strange" happens.
Oh, I get that. At some point, I just started doing it - communicating, I mean. I felt stupid and crazy, but it eventually paid off. It also helped me gain a better understanding of what I was dealing with and begin to accept it.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
@shimmerz I have a hard time sticking to set routines. I can stick to them for a few weeks but after that either I feel trapped (not quite sure why that is) or sometimes I just put too much in a day and I end up exhausted after a few weeks. But I do realize routines make life easier in some way and am working on it.

Thanks for all your replies.


@shimmerz I have a hard time sticking to set routines. I can stick to them for a few weeks but after that either I feel trapped (not quite sure why that is) or sometimes I just put too much in a day and I end up exhausted after a few weeks. But I do realize routines make life easier in some way and am working on it.

@whiteraven I understand the communication thing and I don't. And I can see that that is part of the problem and I don't see it as a problem. Someday I just think I'm imagining this whole thing and others it seems so real. And. Somehow I am suprised again everytime something "strange" happens.
The routine thing.....well, if you try to work on 5 new behaviors at once, you will likely fail because research says the average person takes 3 weeks to change 1 new behavior. I've done better with one new behavior, and witholding something until I do it (in bed with TV time)....My cats need their pan scooped once a day.....it feels like less crap to do in the long run when I scoop but I hate this job...it is my least favorite chore. So, before getting into bed and turning on TV, that is the "time" the chore gets done....I worked on that for a long time before it became habit. I will say the cats appreciated the change in getting their pan cleaned regularly. Then I changed the time I brushed teeth to every night to before cleaning cat pan.....adding a task before one I'm doing well with...or I've mastered seems more doable-and it is. It doesn't set you up to fail this way, and while routine is what you normally do....if you forget, get sick, you are more inclined to keep doing or get back in the saddle if you stop for weeks, and begin again to do the tasks you've been doing the longest and deem important enough to work at changing.... just a thought.

Oh, I get that. At some point, I just started doing it - communicating, I mean. I felt stupid and crazy, but it eventually paid off. It also helped me gain a better understanding of what I was dealing with and begin to accept it.
Communicating w parts...reduces my internal stress....improves my memory (I don't have the internal sabotage I once did walking from room to room forgetting what I was going to do....), I'm more grounded, and communication within makes my day go smoother.
 
Top