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Family engagement party tonight. Anxiety sky high all day. Its been high for last couple of days but today is insane. Just went into bedroom to try relaxing & shutting everything out (headphones) and tried telling myself that I'm safe.
But my immediate thought was, no I'm not. Then I wondered why. My sisters ex-husband came to mind. I had to see him last night and will again tonight.
He strikes such fear in me and I hate it. I don't think he would do anything but you just don't know with a guy like that.
Anyway, aside from sharing, wondering if anyone else has ever had that thought? To explain: when your in a safe place & remind yourself of that, that your minds response is 'no, you're NOT safe'...
Makes no sense to me. God, am I exhausted
But my immediate thought was, no I'm not. Then I wondered why. My sisters ex-husband came to mind. I had to see him last night and will again tonight.
He strikes such fear in me and I hate it. I don't think he would do anything but you just don't know with a guy like that.
Anyway, aside from sharing, wondering if anyone else has ever had that thought? To explain: when your in a safe place & remind yourself of that, that your minds response is 'no, you're NOT safe'...
Makes no sense to me. God, am I exhausted
