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Ex-cult member/ childhood abuse

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by saraemerald, Feb 11, 2018.

  1. saraemerald

    saraemerald Well-Known Member

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    I feel like I sound so desperate but don't mean to sound this way. I guess you can say I tried to use the cult to heal myself from anything wrong I aquired from growing up in a weird family but eventually discovered the cult was just as dysfunctional but it didn't seem like it was dysfunctional to me because there were some nice people in the cult who helped me with my family situation of being abused and dysfunctional and they seemed more normal to me than my own family did. Plus they believed in a better version of earth than what we live on today. But that religion was a manipulative cult and sometimes I feel like I still want some of the promises they gave us when n the cult. What is wrong with my brain?! Anyone else relate? I thought this particular cult was the answer to all mankind's problems including global warming, child prostitution, poverty, starvation, etc What do I do now about being a proactive human being in regards to these real problems?! Is something wrong with the way I think now?
     
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  3. saraemerald

    saraemerald Well-Known Member

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    just a side thought. This cult put these particular problems in our face all the time! So instead of being concerned with our immediate lives in this world, they made us aware of every awful problem in this world supposedly occurring all the time around us. How am I supposed to deal with the reality of that? Plus they told us we are blood guilty if we don't engage in this lifesaving work of preaching door to door. UggHHh! The cult is Jehovah's Witness and you don't know what it's actually like just by observing other perfectly dressed, happy looking JWs but by actually being a JW actively participating in their every day activities.

    The other part of me just wants some answers to our everyday problems and solutions to our serious problems we face as human beings. Like how are we supposed to fix all the world's problems so we, our children and grandchildren can have peace and happiness while we live out our lives on this beautiful earth?!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2018
    TommySunlight likes this.
  4. Xena

    Xena Well-Known Member

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    We can't change the world but you and me and others can be good people.. With empathy and love.. Compassion and grace. Most people are good....
    That's all I can do.. Be good to my fellow human being.. But not if they are being an asshole then much to my better judgement I might tell them.. You are an asshole.. But that creates all kinds of other problems.

    Hi i think you at some point have alot of brainwashing.... By the cult.... And cognitive distortion... That can be worked on and changed to newer healthier thoughts and opinions.

    Your very intelligent and self aware.. And with the right help you will get through this..take care....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 11, 2018
  5. bigstrongtree

    bigstrongtree New Member

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    Taking care of yourself and being a peaceful, proactive person in the world is a good start.


    I know cults can make you feel guilty that you are not doing enough.


    I spent over 4 years in one and no matter what I did, it was never enough.


    I know eventually survivors move over into some sort of advocacy to help others but I would not underestimate the power of just being a good, trustworthy, good human being.

    I can relate to the thinking and I think it is left over cult programming. In my group we were taught to recruit because that brought the leader money. They would guilt guilt guilt us --saying we taught you and gave you so much now it is time for you to give back.

    Anyways. I am almost 3 years out of the group and me being a good person and treating myself and my body with kindness is enough for me right now.
    And I still have the guilt that I am not "doing enough" but all of the worlds problems are not mine to solve!!!!!!!!!!

    and I bet after you heal you may find a cause to work towards that doesn' jeopardize your health or wellbeing.

    Actually when I left I spent almost a year trying to get other members out instead of focusing on my healing..................but whatcha going to do????

    No ones healing path is the same. If I can say anything to you......I relate and I am glad you are out!!!!!!!!
     
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