Expose My Vulnerability............No Way


As my brain cycles through feelings and emotions unearthed in Therapy it occurs to me that I am unable to show vulnerability. I suspect I have linked demonstrating vulnerability to my childhood abuse and assault by a pedophile. I am unable to cry or feel strong emotions or should I say unwilling to show strong emotions?

Currently as I begin this process in earnest peeling the onion I find myself confused and lost, what is my fault what is life and what influence does this lifelong assault on my psyche and deep shame for never telling anyone have on my day to day life?

I am a ship lost in the fog waiting to run aground
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This is true and I talk about it all the time while not really saying it. I couldn’t hide it because my “vulnerability” was always trying to show itself. It was tied directly to CSA and the disassociation was really terrible.