My awesome T has gone into hiding for the duration of Covid-19, since he and his entire family are all high-risk. Honestly can't blame him for that. However, with all my other social coping mechanisms shut down as well, I'm back in forced isolation (trigger), and living in PTSD trigger-hell. I now am petrified that if anyone comes in contact with me, they'll get Covid and die (I've had a mild form of it, 2x now). I NEED to interact with people, but no longer feel any ability to connect with anyone. Somatic therapies helped me feel some small connection so I could enjoy social things, and now theres....nothing.....and my body has gone numb from the lack of tactile stimulation again. I no longer want to continue living this meaningless and connectedless existence. I keep telling myself I just need to wait it out, T will come out of hiding when he feels safe enough to touch strangers again....but I know that'll be months at the EARLIEST, most likely more than a year. I can't wait a year. I'm trying to find a therapist that will see me F2F until my good T comes out from under his rock, but with navigating insurance, PTSD brain fog, and autism issues, I can't f*cking navigate any systems right now! Its so frustrating!! Wondering if I should just have a breakdown at work and let them do all the paperwork, but I don't want anyone forcefeeding me medications that just make life worse. This sucks.