Michael Lake
New Here
I experienced potential causes and symptoms of PTSD in the army, but not for the typical reasons. Because my situation was peacetime, and resulted from stigma, bigotry, hate, and harassment by other soldiers, no one wants to listen.
It started with the diagnosis of a mental illness, bipolar disorder. Doctors told me that I could survive the army with this medical problem. No one told me about the fear and stigma that I would suffer the following year.
Instead of support by my unit, they punished me when I had problems relating to medicine or the growing symptoms of this mental illness. I have copies of their counseling statements on whyhope.com which show my complaints that they were ignoring medical issues.
A year of surviving these attacks had an effect on my behavior that was worse than the bipolar disorder. I could not deny having mental health problems, so the stigma took on a life of it’s own. The memories and experiences became my new life and personality.
Any time that I could escape and see the better side of life, something would trigger the memories. My reactions were automatic, like blind fear. It was not until 2004 that I realized my major problems seemed more like PTSD than the bipolar disorder that the VA has been treating me for.
The problem is that my VA doctors, government leaders, and veteran organizations will not help me with my belief of having PTSD. It is almost as if they think I am only after money or that I am crazy. These problems started 15 years ago, and five years ago I had documented major problems in a civic group. (Do I go out in public and suffer problems for the fun of it?)
It seems that the practical side of these issues gets the least attention. I would like my life back, and the ability to be accepted into society.
Michael John Lake
It started with the diagnosis of a mental illness, bipolar disorder. Doctors told me that I could survive the army with this medical problem. No one told me about the fear and stigma that I would suffer the following year.
Instead of support by my unit, they punished me when I had problems relating to medicine or the growing symptoms of this mental illness. I have copies of their counseling statements on whyhope.com which show my complaints that they were ignoring medical issues.
A year of surviving these attacks had an effect on my behavior that was worse than the bipolar disorder. I could not deny having mental health problems, so the stigma took on a life of it’s own. The memories and experiences became my new life and personality.
Any time that I could escape and see the better side of life, something would trigger the memories. My reactions were automatic, like blind fear. It was not until 2004 that I realized my major problems seemed more like PTSD than the bipolar disorder that the VA has been treating me for.
The problem is that my VA doctors, government leaders, and veteran organizations will not help me with my belief of having PTSD. It is almost as if they think I am only after money or that I am crazy. These problems started 15 years ago, and five years ago I had documented major problems in a civic group. (Do I go out in public and suffer problems for the fun of it?)
It seems that the practical side of these issues gets the least attention. I would like my life back, and the ability to be accepted into society.
Michael John Lake