I got diagnosed with PTSD late last year & at the time I was so confused I didn't really get why. I ran away from my T for 6 months, but since June I've really been trying hard to understand my issues & sort them out.
The more I do this, the further I seem to be away from my family. Basically, My Dad was out with my Uncle yesterday & he told my Dad that him & my Mom were subject to horrendous physical & emotional abuse as children from my Grandparents. I seem to remember being terrified of misbehaving of a kid, I know we lived with my Grandparents for a period & we were heavily reliant on my Grandparents as my Mom was severely disabled & my Dad had to work. My Grandparents pretty much raised me, I feel dread & I have a vision in my head of me cowering. I can't remember them being abusive to me though.
I just feel as though the further I explore myself, the angrier I get with family. The further I want to be away from them. I feel as though that's probably a good thing, but a big part of me still wants love from them.
My Grandparents usually come round on a Sunday when our local team is on TV. This is happening this Sunday & I don't know what to do? Any advice?
The more I do this, the further I seem to be away from my family. Basically, My Dad was out with my Uncle yesterday & he told my Dad that him & my Mom were subject to horrendous physical & emotional abuse as children from my Grandparents. I seem to remember being terrified of misbehaving of a kid, I know we lived with my Grandparents for a period & we were heavily reliant on my Grandparents as my Mom was severely disabled & my Dad had to work. My Grandparents pretty much raised me, I feel dread & I have a vision in my head of me cowering. I can't remember them being abusive to me though.
I just feel as though the further I explore myself, the angrier I get with family. The further I want to be away from them. I feel as though that's probably a good thing, but a big part of me still wants love from them.
My Grandparents usually come round on a Sunday when our local team is on TV. This is happening this Sunday & I don't know what to do? Any advice?