• All donations and upgrades are manually verified and approved within 24hrs.
  • Upgrades are ongoing. Learn how to save your bookmarked posts.

Family drama... must get away - Anyone familiar with SSDI?

Thread starter #1
Hi guys,

I grew up in NYC. Was living in NYC until diagnosed with PTSD & GAD 7 years ago. I was working a full time job. My life fell apart within about 2 months. I lost my job that I had loved too.

2 weeks after losing job I moved to Florida, git in my car & drove there. Even though I was homeless in the beginning (sleeping in my car), I felt such a massive sense of relief! Of course I still had triggers but I was able to leave SO MANY behind in noisy, dirty NY. AND I left behind all my family drama because a lot of the family are in NY (most difficult one being “Mother”).

A little over 2 years ago I was forced to come back to NY because I just couldn’t make it financially. While in Florida I got SSDI & I managed to get a job working for a (mostly) food delivery company. It worked for my situation because I wasn’t locked up in an office building, I had my own car (leased) so I had the freedom of doing this job and living in said car till I could afford an apartment which I did. AND I was able to set my own hours every day which was amazing because if I was having a hard day & not able to get out of bed or my house, I just didn’t have to work. And when I couldn’t sleep at night (insomnia) I had the option of working then.

But after a few years the days I wasn’t able to work outweighed the working days. Add to that that I had absolutely NO health insurance and I felt I had no choice but to move back in with the queen of my triggers, my mother, in NY in her tiny 2 bedroom apartment.

She’s been getting progressively harder & harder to live with. We just had an argument & she felt like I was attacking her (I wasn’t) & that’s when her claws come out. Her words were so mean. It was extra hurtful because she MEANT for them to be just that, mean. It’s not like it happened by mistake (hahaha, oh how I wish!). It’s also twisted and screws with my head because she argues with me the exact same way she did with her husband, my dad, until he died (lucky him... for not having to deal with her anymore).

So she’s not treating me like her child but more like her spouse?? So creepy and 100% unhealthy.

I don’t claim to be perfect in all of this but I NEVER set out to intentionally hurt her and I always apologize when it mistakenly does happen.

Which brings me to my point/question. I MUST MUST MUST get out of here and back to Florida (my whole apartment is still in a storage room there). I would of gone last week but about 1 year ago I got rid of my car because I couldn’t afford it. But if I still had a car, I would have just up and driven back there. Anywhere but here, near her. She’s poisonous.

I can’t get a car because my credit is shot. But even if I could, I can’t afford the car payments.

So my question: I know that SSDI has some sort of program where they’ll set you up with a job and you’re put on a trial run to see if you can manage it? And during this trial period your SSDI money is not affected. Is this correct?

I’m wondering if anyone’s done this, how it went for you & if you know how to go about doing it? Can I get started from a different state?
Does SSDI help with getting a car? An apartment?
I also have a small chunk of money coming out of my monthly SSDI to pay for Medicare. I saw online that if you’re eligible, they pay your Medicare monthly payment ... do you know about that?

I don’t even know if I can move back because of corona but I think I can because it’s not like I’d be a new resident there... I already lived there. And like I mentioned before, all my possessions are there.

Any advice would be sooo greatly appreciated! Crazy Mother is making me feel crazier than I already am... she’s slowly beating me down to a pulp. At this point I can’t tell the difference between what are my issues and what are my issues with her or being caused by her.

Ahhhh! HELP!!

Thank you & I truly hope you’re all physically safe and mentally dealing with pandemic craziness “ok” (I mean, really, is there anyone sane left at this point? 😔)
 
#2
I can’t get a car because my credit is shot. But even if I could, I can’t afford the car payments.
Not your Q about SSDI... But there are companies that transport cars via private drivers. Mostly via major cities. NYC is definitely one, although finding one going from NYC to the right city in FL may take a bit of time/luck. I haven’t done it for a few years, but I used to do it a lot when I needed to just GET AWAY for a spell. At least 5 or 6 times a year, sometimes twice or triple that. They don’t pay you, but some of them reimburse fuel costs or have a gas card. Rental car fleets transporting stock from one part of the country to the next almost always have a company gas card, but are also the strictest about the route you can take.

https://www.autodriveaway.com/become-a-driver/ is one of the biggest companies out there, but far from the only one.
 
Thread starter #3
Thab
Not your Q about SSDI... But there are companies that transport cars via private drivers. Mostly via major cities. NYC is definitely one, although finding one going from NYC to the right city in FL may take a bit of time/luck. I haven’t done it for a few years, but I used to do it a lot when I needed to just GET AWAY for a spell. At least 5 or 6 times a year, sometimes twice or triple that. They don’t pay you, but some of them reimburse fuel costs or have a gas card. Rental car fleets transporting stock from one part of the country to the next almost always have a company gas card, but are also the strictest about the route you can take.

https://www.autodriveaway.com/become-a-driver/ is one of the biggest companies out there, but far from the only one.
Thanks!!! That’s a great idea for short term... juts to get away. Thanks sooo much for the link... finding the first place is always hardest for me 😊
 
#4
No worries! Another good thing to know, is that even transporting a privately owned vehicle (as opposed to driving truck) as a professional driver you qualify for the car-spot (usually $5 or so) AND full use of the showers/laundry/rec-room (Sometimes an extra $2, sometimes not) in truck stops. If you’ll be sleeping in your car, most truck stops will either place you directly in front of the kitchen windows so that they can keep an eye on ya while you sleep, or between 2 trucks with drivers they know/like/trust to do the same. People who drive truck don’t tolerate people who f*ck with their own; only safer place to sleep is between 2 Rottweilers. The least common, but still top3 answer is in the back corner... which seems a bit creepy until you realize that’s where staff parks, and where the police camp. Just ask the person sellin you the car-spot where the best place for you to park, is. Loooooove truck stops.
 
Thread starter #5
No worries! Another good thing to know, is that even transporting a privately owned vehicle (as opposed to driving truck) as a professional driver you qualify for the car-spot (usually $5 or so) AND full use of the showers/laundry/rec-room (Sometimes an extra $2, sometimes not) in truck stops. If you’ll be sleeping in your car, most truck stops will either place you directly in front of the kitchen windows so that they can keep an eye on ya while you sleep, or between 2 trucks with drivers they know/like/trust to do the same. People who drive truck don’t tolerate people who f*ck with their own; only safer place to sleep is between 2 Rottweilers. The least common, but still top3 answer is in the back corner... which seems a bit creepy until you realize that’s where staff parks, and where the police camp. Just ask the person sellin you the car-spot where the best place for you to park, is. Loooooove truck stops.
Wow, ur a goldmine of amazing info!! I like truck stood too :) I only had 1 full experience with them... I drove... well I didn’t actually drive, I was a passenger this time. My boyfriend at the time was helping out his friend who drove an 18 wheeler cross country. For me it was fun because I got to wake up and the first thing I saw were trees whizzing by the window by my head because they were driving while I was sleeping. Pretty much the only place they stopped off for gas or food was the truck stops, I think maybe they’re called TA?

And I so clearly remember that every time we stopped at a truckstop there was a sense of camaraderie amongst everyone there… It was like everyone was friends when I knew for a fact that nobody actually knew each other :-) but they all did the same job and so they understood each other and looked out for each other, just like you said.

So that is a great piece of advice that I will definitely use if the need arises (I really hope I’m able to find a job/vacation 😄. Thank you thank you thank you @Friday 🙏🏼 🤗 !!
 
Thread starter #6
@Friday , Sorry!! Just 3 more quick questions 😬🤭:
if I get a job driving a car from Stop A to Stop B will they automatically find me a job from Stop B back to Stop A? Or do I have to find my own way back?

Is there is very tight timeline that you’re supposed to get to the destination by? I only ask because I have some back problems and when driving long stretches I need to stop and stretch every so often…

Last one (😆): If it’s not too private of a question, can I ask you why you don’t do it anymore? Just wondering if there are issues about this type of job that I should know about before getting into it :-)

Again, thank you so much.
By the way @Friday , how are YOU doing these days?
 
#7
I applied for SS in May of 2018. Got denied (because they deny almost everyone the first time around). Took 22 months to get to my appeal hearing -- now I'm waiting to hear back. Lawyer said ti will be between 2 weeks and 14 months to get an answer.

So ya.. Not a quick fix.
Dont' want to sound discouraging -- you may get much faster results because you are already in the system. I'm guessing that will help a ton.
 
Top Bottom