Fed Up With The Rollercoaster Of Emotion

[KP the nut]

I felt so positive this morning. I got out of bed and did stuff. Yesterdays EMDR was tough, but I slept and thought Hey I'm ok this is fine.

H brought me flowers at lunchtime - big surprise. He has been away on business and will beover the next few weeks and knew I'd struggled to cope but had done it.

Felt good this afternoon, washed dishes, cleaned, walked dogs.

Then, like a sledge hammer I feel so low. H noticed and I cried. Fed up and tired of coping, being OK.

Don't want to go on.

 

[deer_in_headlights]

(((((((((((Kath))))))))))))))

Must be something in the air... got it, too...
You're doing hard work, Hon...
I could weep, you've been through so much. PTSD really stinks, you know? It's difficult enough enduring the original trauma, but then all the crud, all the pain, the fear, there is so much injury that trauma leaves in it's wake. It's not fair...

But you know what you gotta do... is go on. A friend told me one time, when I said it felt as if I were in the ring with Mohammed Ali, with the punches coming out of nowhere and slamming me to the mat. He said, it's rough, but you just have to remember to get up again after each punch. You can't stay down on the mat.

I'm writing this to you, Kath, after spending several hours myself just not feeling up to continuing on.

How about if we link arms, I'll pull you up, and we'll all keep slogging through until this miserable stuff lets go of us and we can breathe and live again. OK?

I love you, Kath... I'm so sorry that truck driver nearly took your life away. Please keep up to good fight to not only reclaim your life, but to grow it better than it was prior to the crash.

Sending hugs, praying for renewed hope and strength, for good to bless your life, for joy and peace to reign in your heart.
I hope you're able to snuggle w H if he's still at home, and dogs.
Much love, worry and caring,
Deer

 

[Heather]

Hi Kath - I'll link arms too okay? It'll be a stretch across the atlantic but we'll make'em reach! You just need to hang in there. This shit sucks but you know that. Take care of yourself! Be kind to yourself! And know that I'm thinking of you! Hugs and much love Heather

 

[Nighthawk]

I too will link arms and say that my mood changed in 1 min flat today and I am now harboring anger, resentment and self hatred along with alot of other things. I think the rollercoaster is broken because I don't climb nearly as high or as fast as I fall.

Ok and now too be able to hear my own advise.... Be kind to yourself talke care and maybe the broken coaster will start to go up again soon and stay there for a while.

(((HUGS)))))

NH

 

[deer_in_headlights]

((((((((((((Nighthawlk))))))))))))))

Great to have arms linked with you!
Maybe we can start something here, beginning with Kath and extending to all of us on the forum...
A forum arm-linking for mutual support, healing, understanding, lifting each other out of the mire...
(Well it is what we're already doing here, but a spontaneous demonstration of it would be cool)

Kath, I hope you feel lifted, even while you sleep, because you sure have a lot of friends who love and care about you!

 

[intothelight]

I am linking arms with you too!

(((hugs)))
Deb

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hooray ((((((((Deb))))))))))

So very glad to link arms with you (crying with a gentle smile, having you "next to me, arm in arm").
I love you so!!!
Deer

 

[Heather]

Deer:
YOU ARE QUITE AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Whoa! Heather, what a shock! I feel like Im going to pass out... I'm not kidding...
I love you!!!

 

[KP the nut]

((((Deer, Heather, NH, Deb)))

Thank you. I'll link arms.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself, I should be grateful, I'm here, and I will feel that someday, just confused now.

Deb, you have so much on at the moment, I am with you.

Again thank you girlfriends

Huge love

KP

 

[deer_in_headlights]

Hi (((((((((Kath)))))))))))!

You had lots of prayers and love surrounding you during the night...
It's ok to feel sorry for yourself, we're allowed some cry-release time!

It really is weird to survive a crash, but then be really conflicted about it...
The trauma and pain takes a while to heal, and you're doing the difficult work to do it!
It's no wonder you're feeling the way you do at times, but I hope the sunshine permeates your spirit soon, and you feel joy, less and less physical and soul-pain, and the day comes when you feel new and improved again.
YOU WILL get better!!! No doubts about that, Sweetheart!!!

You're amazing, and you are loved!
It's pretty neat, friends linked arm-in-arm!
Hopefully, as more read this post, they'll link arms as well (guys too...) :)
((((((((((((((((Kath))))))))))))))))

 

[KP the nut]

Your support is amazing. It is a huge help.

I feel as if I should be OK, that I should be able to deal with it.

I need to shake the whole living in a dream world where It wasn't me hurt or in an accident and in the session on Thursday, for the first time it felt real. Do I have to spend the next few months in T making the past year real. Do I have to reconnect with my body and deal with the fact that this actually happened to me.

I have to live in my body, not from the outside, where I am floating, watching me live or at least going through the motions.

I am not crazy.

Arms still linked
HUGS