Sufferer Feedback wanted - diagnosed 8 years ago PTSD and bipolar

sonnet

Learning
Abused as a child until age 15 and kept hidden from ,myself for a long time it was so terrible. After it cam out I started therapy which helped in that only more memories continue to surface. Okay here is the meat of the matter. I had a knee replacement. at Physical Therapy they noticed I walked funny and I said my thigh hurts all the time. Therapist rubbed and found it very full of muscle knots. She would touch the center and the pain was excruciating. When asked about wheat I do to my thighs to possibly cause this it came to me. I can't even remember how long, but for a VERY long time, I wake up in the middle of the night about 3-4 times a week tense with my back arched, like a small foot bridge over the mattress. Off the mattress. My legs are tight and I am tense all over. I sometimes remember dreaming about being 'touched" or "running" but do not always recall what was dreaming about. I lower myself and eventually fall back to sleep. So now with all these Knots in my thighs she is using a heating pad and rolling pin to roll them out. It hurts terrible, I looked and looked on the net for anything like this but couldn't find anything. Has anyone ever heard about this type of sleeping disorder caused by PTSD?
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hi @sonnet, welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear of what you've been through. It's terrible. I haven't heard about your problems with your legs. I'm glad that your in therapy. It's normal for memories to surface whilst your in therapy but I promise it does get better. All the best to you. S3 😊

There are some great articles on this site, like the PTSD cup explanation among others written by the staff and moderators. Have a search or use 'contact us' in the menu.
 

Rainman8772

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome. Talk with your doctor about Prazosin. There is a lot of information on the site about it and it will help with the nightmares. It’s a blood pressure medicine with a convenient side effect of stopping nightmares in low doses. I take 2mg myself and it works great. You will still dream but you won’t remember it if you wake up at all. Another option is a service dog that will wake you from a nightmare and bring you back to reality. However the cost may prevent that if you do not know how to train your own. Depending on what all they are trained for you are looking anywhere from $10-30k unless you get one from a non-profit.
 

sonnet

Learning
Welcome. Talk with your doctor about Prazosin. There is a lot of information on the site about it and it will help with the nightmares. It’s a blood pressure medicine with a convenient side effect of stopping nightmares in low doses. I take 2mg myself and it works great. You will still dream but you won’t remember it if you wake up at all. Another option is a service dog that will wake you from a nightmare and bring you back to reality. However the cost may prevent that if you do not know how to train your own. Depending on what all they are trained for you are looking anywhere from $10-30k unless you get one from a non-profit.
Thank you Rainman8772. Actually I do take Prazosin. I take 5 mg -1 tab in morning and 3 at night. It really has helped me to not recall nightmares. And I do not really have any nightmares anymore that I remember. But I do also remember as a child tensing up when something was about to happen. Or after it happened. I believe my body is still reacting to those memories through the night. My PCP called in muscle relaxers for me and I am hoping that will help ease the pain. I sat with a heating pad off and on all day and then rolled my thighs with a rolling pin and massaged them. On Amazon they have foam rollers and I am going to get one of those. I figure I need to also drink more water. And as soon as the weather warms up I will join water aerobics.. I wish I could have another dog, but it is out of the question.
 

Sideways

Sponsor
Welcome to the forum, sorry you have reasons to be here:)

If it helps at all, my PT uses a roller on the knots I get in my leg, and she's commented to me in the past that some people just seem to get knots easily. Just walking around and stress (the book The Body Keeps The Score is a brilliant and helpful read) is enough for our muscles to get knotted up. I have a touch point hook for the knots in my shoulders!

I personally can't deal with them (trauma response), but she's recommended regular massage therapy as an alternative to the roller, which a lot of people would find much more relaxing! Because yah, her roller is my nemesis (but it does help!).

If you're having distressing dreams, as has been mentioned, there are some meds that may be able to hell you with that. I do all sorts of flips and turns in my sleep when I have nightmares, but if that's when my brain is choosing to work through distress, I'm actually surprisingly okay with nightmares. Because they go away once I wake up!

You'll find all sorts of different ways to cope with different elements of ptsd here, which is the best part about the place:)
 

sonnet

Learning
Welcome to the forum, sorry you have reasons to be here:)

If it helps at all, my PT uses a roller on the knots I get in my leg, and she's commented to me in the past that some people just seem to get knots easily. Just walking around and stress (the book The Body Keeps The Score is a brilliant and helpful read) is enough for our muscles to get knotted up. I have a touch point hook for the knots in my shoulders!

I personally can't deal with them (trauma response), but she's recommended regular massage therapy as an alternative to the roller, which a lot of people would find much more relaxing! Because yah, her roller is my nemesis (but it does help!).

If you're having distressing dreams, as has been mentioned, there are some meds that may be able to hell you with that. I do all sorts of flips and turns in my sleep when I have nightmares, but if that's when my brain is choosing to work through distress, I'm actually surprisingly okay with nightmares. Because they go away once I wake up!

You'll find all sorts of different ways to cope with different elements of ptsd here, which is the best part about the place:)
Hello Sideways, thank you for responding. Several articles mentioned massage therapy. I have never had one! I bet that will hurt too, until I loosen up. I started a new Mental Health Counseling and it will be weeks before I see the new med doctor. I have been on the same meds for 8 years, and I am hoping that they will be able to put me on something new that addresses this condition. So far I have had three phone sessions with the counselor. I do not like her. She has not once, NOT ONCE, asked me if I have or had any thoughts of suicide. despite the fact that on our first session I was especially having a really hard time. Maybe I will find the help I need here more so than with her. Just glad your group is here.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome! This is YOUR group too now. Hope you read around the forum, the many topics, and the many ways we can learn to do things that help.

As you have already experienced, people here understand and are very supportive. Glad you found a place that you will start to feel comfortable and get the support you need.

It's been a life saver for me!!
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
I have a bunch of foam rollers (I keep finding them at thrift stores so I buy them as I know they get misshapen over time.) I personally prefer the smooth one that is wider VS the nubby ones (they can bruise you!) or the shorter ones.
 

Justmehere

Moderator
Have you addressed the underlying trauma in therapy?

if your therapist isn't asking about topics that are happening for you... time to bring them up. The person in therapy who has the most control over the direction of sessions and the work is the client. If she can't address the suicidal thoughts effectively, good to know sooner than later.

How is it going with managing suicidal thoughts and other symptoms as whole?
 

Deanna

MyPTSD Pro
She has not once, NOT ONCE, asked me if I have or had any thoughts of suicide. despite the fact that on our first session I was especially having a really hard time. Maybe I will find the help I need here more so than with her. Just glad your group is here.
You need to tell her that you think she is insensitive and why.
 

sonnet

Learning
Have you addressed the underlying trauma in therapy?

if your therapist isn't asking about topics that are happening for you... time to bring them up. The person in therapy who has the most control over the direction of sessions and the work is the client. If she can't address the suicidal thoughts effectively, good to know sooner than later.

How is it going with managing suicidal thoughts and other symptoms as whole?
Good morning Justmehere. First off, I haven't even seen this Dr. We have only had four phone sessions. They are supposed to be video but she doesn't go the extras mile to set that up. I am all geared up here to go that route. She is really the worse therapist I have ever had. When we discuss the trauma she says things like, "wow.. I I can't believe family services didn't find out about you all.... Boy if they had." Yeah... back in the 60's, 70's they would have been all over it I said...whatever. I spoke with her supervisor and told her about the conversations with the therapist. That she didn't ask about my welfare. That she try's to end my sessions after 30 minutes! I argued that with her and she said well I paused and she thought I was done. When I discuss what I go through daily... like anxiety and not staying focused, she really doesn't know what to say but that I just need be aware that I am alright now. (WTF)

I am not having any suicidal thoughts now, thank goodness, but about a month and half ago I was and she knows that. So does my family and they have really tried to come together and pull me back into the world of the living. I do feel better about it all now. I am doing ok with other symptoms like anxiousness and forgetfulness, daydreaming, just not being present etc... I leave stove/oven on but am not getting "yelled" at, just scolded which doesn't me me freak out. Getting in trouble for doing things wrong or not being "present" pushes me over the edge I think.
 

sonnet

Learning
You need to tell her that you think she is insensitive and why
You know what, I did tell her how I felt about her. I told her that I really liked the therapist I had previous to her * she had left to take a new position). Then she asked what did I think of her and I told her I wasn't really liking her, that the jury was still out. But I didn't tell her why and she didn't ask. I did tell her though that it is hard to connect with someone whom you are not or do not see their face (we have telephone sessions-4 so far).
 
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