I still feel like I'm dreading seeing my autism worker I feel like I've already gone backwards cause I'm just worrying all the time about having to see her. It's like with the alien I'd always be worried about the next time. I think she just makes me feel unsafe and scared and I can't cope with it but mum will not want her to go. It's like I'm having to pretend I'm fine for other people just like I always did with the alien but I can't keep doing it. I'm Not coping with it. And thinking about the bad day is making me so anxious I haven't wrote down what I was supposed to properly I just said Debbie is an alien (an alien not the alien) and person in nightmare, Debbie reminded me of that person. That's all I felt comfortable writing but I do think it will make any sense but I can't write anymore. I want to hide I feel scared and unsafe.