Feel Like Quitting Therapy

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mytai

MyPTSD Pro
I feel like quitting therapy for the first time in almost 2 years. Nothing to do with my T, or how helpful she is, or anything related to her at all. I haven't felt like I've wanted to run this bad in a really long time. A lot of it has to do with so much happening in the days following my session last week. Sometimes I get this feeling a little bit when things get hard, but don't attempt to act on it at all. Late last night I emailed T and said I think I want to cancel this weeks session, that too much has happened this week. T replied back that maybe it's a good time to come then.

She just sent another email asking to clarify if I really want her to cancel this weeks session. I don't know what I want. I told her that, I also told her I'm scared and I just want to quit everything because I'm scared.

I'm really trying to figure out what I want. I know that because of what has happened this week, I really need to see T this week. I think I'm just scared, and that's why I want to cancel so bad. I know nothing will get better unless I go.
 

Rain

Policy Enforcement
I also agree that you might gain something from going to therapy as well. I remember getting scared and anxious and if I felt really intense feelings I would consider safety first and not want to drive, being so scattered so I would cancel and reschedule and the next time I went and everything turned out well. I wish you the best in the ultimate choice you do make.
 

mrsps

MyPTSD Pro
I think you should go ....... it would be good to talk to your T about the feelings you have about not wanting to go and wanting to run and what has been happening for you. I think it would be helpful for you to talk all this through with your T. Just my thoughts on it. :)
 

Gadgie

MyPTSD Pro
I think you should keep going to your therapy, as at least you are getting help. I'm back on the waiting list once again, after my last session over three years ago.

I was told that I wasn't responding to the therapy, as I had too many issues going back for too long, so they dropped me from their list?

It looks like I will never get back on the list, as they have since made more cut backs, so hang in there and keep going, good luck.
 
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shell

MyPTSD Pro
It is often when we most need it, that instinct to run comes up. You may find it more helpful to work on supporting yourself this week, and need a change in pace, but I really hope you don't give up on yourself. Your T sounds really understanding.
 

scout86

MyPTSD Pro
I think I can see a lot of progress in your post. I think there was a time, not all that long ago, when you would have been way more panicked and had a lot less insight into what was going on. It sounds like you really know the answer in your heart, but if it helps to hear others say it (and a lot of times it does!) you should go. It will be ok and there is probably something specific you can work on and you'll probably benefit more than you do in a normal week. But boy, there sure are weeks when it's harder to walk in that door than it would be to leave!
 
D

Deleted member 1860

I think you should force yourself to keep on going. (I hate to put it in those terms but yeah, sometimes we really do need to force ourselves to do the hard things.) I know it won't be easy. But, I think that if you quit now, things won't get any better. Remember, if you're going through hell, keep going....
 
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mytai

MyPTSD Pro
I had written out a lengthy response to you @scout86 a few days ago, but I accidentally erased my response before I posted it AND I was too lazy to try and write it out all over again.

On another note... I did survive today's session. Emotionally exhausted, and a little disoriented right now, but I survived. I'm very glad I pushed myself to go despite the feelings and fear.
 
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