I guess I want to start at the begging so you know my situation a bit. I am a college junior and over a year ago I took a child abuse class as a part of my major. I thought nothing of it tbh it’s stuff I read about and study all the time in the criminology field. But we did a case study and something about it triggered this flood of memories to come back to me. Memories of a family member sexually abusing me for over six years. Which to me made no sense. I thought I was crazy and that my brain was making things up. So I didn’t tell anyone for the next several months. Well my mental health started declining very fast and I started having more and more (what I know now) severe cptsd symptoms. Looking back I had always had very obvious signs of trauma. I hate being touched have pretty bad anxiety and very wild mood changes sometimes. But mostly looking back I can’t believe someone didn’t notice. Any time I was not with my abuser I would be extremely violent and mean. But that is also the issue. I remember and my mom remembers me wanting to go over there every weekend. Why would I want that? Especially if it was so bad my brain blocked it for 10 years? I’m still working on accepting that part abs understanding it. Anyway after I remembered years worth of stuff and my mental health got to the lowest possible place I reached out. First just to my school’s free counselor. Then I eventually told my mom who said my siblings had said the same thing years ago. After talking to them I realized I wasn’t making it up. Which allowed me to truly begin accepting T and help. I now have been diagnosed and out on medications as well as am seeing a childhood trauma specialist. But honestly this just opened more questions I’ve never thought about. Why does it affect me so much? My siblings both said it doesn’t affect them anymore. They randomly remembered and then moved on. I can’t move on. I literally can’t go a day without thinking about it. So why? Why even remember it? A part of me knows I’ll never know the answer to those questions but it’s sucks. Anyways I’m just at the first several months of the T journey and I know it’s a long road but I don’t want it to be. I want my brain to forget again so I can go back to my normal life before. I guess I just wanted to share my story to see if anyone on here could relate in anyway at all. Because the people who went through this with me can’t relate at all. I know no one who also has ptsd and my friends I’ve told don’t understand they don’t see the flashbacks and the night terrors. I don’t know I just feel really alone in all this.