So, I was at a concert the other night and thought I saw my past abuser. To be honest, I am not 100% sure it was him. After all, it has been nine years and the guy I saw had a beard (we were still teens when I last saw him. So, no beard at that time). Also, it was dark and he was standing a good way behind me. However, every time I glanced back... he was staring at me. I accidentally met eye to eye contact with him several times.
It really bothers me that I don't know for sure, and I don't fully understand why. A part of me wonders if it is because I can't fully process how I should feel. I have gone over what it would be like to see him again several times in my mind. I think deep down, maybe I have always wanted to confront him in some way, and see him as a stronger adult (meaning that I have more control over my own situation now). It's not that I particularly want to seek him out... but if put in a situation where I saw him... I felt like it would be different.
I had triggered feelings about him a couple of months ago (I had a dream about him)... and was feeling down for a couple of weeks. Anyways, I got over it and was feeling better... but now I'm feeling down again.
I feel like even though I am in a happy place that I will never get the closure I need.
I have never seen him up close or spoken to him in all this time... Though, I have had other moments when I thought I might have seen him at a store. Am I just seeing a ghost? Seeing him in people that look similar? Or do you think it's strange that the person I saw was watching me for some time?
Advice?
It really bothers me that I don't know for sure, and I don't fully understand why. A part of me wonders if it is because I can't fully process how I should feel. I have gone over what it would be like to see him again several times in my mind. I think deep down, maybe I have always wanted to confront him in some way, and see him as a stronger adult (meaning that I have more control over my own situation now). It's not that I particularly want to seek him out... but if put in a situation where I saw him... I felt like it would be different.
I had triggered feelings about him a couple of months ago (I had a dream about him)... and was feeling down for a couple of weeks. Anyways, I got over it and was feeling better... but now I'm feeling down again.
I feel like even though I am in a happy place that I will never get the closure I need.
I have never seen him up close or spoken to him in all this time... Though, I have had other moments when I thought I might have seen him at a store. Am I just seeing a ghost? Seeing him in people that look similar? Or do you think it's strange that the person I saw was watching me for some time?
Advice?