Feeling Disconnected from everyone

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
I've noticed lately that the love and affection I feel for people, both romantic and platonic, feels like it's behind a glass wall. It doesn't feel real, I feel so disconnected from people. I know it's probably this depression episode, but I can't even feel a crush without pushing it away because I can't feel anything the "right" way. I feel like nothing is real. I'm not sure how to work on this. Self esteem work? Depression work? I don't know what to do. I'm going to ask my T soon. Really struggling today.
 

triptych

New Here
Hey, I don't have any real advice but I just wanted to let you know you are definitely not alone in this. I think for me it's an emotional numbing thing, I feel pain so I numb out and don't feel anything about anyone or anything. It feels like the world isn't real.

I think an important thing I try to remember is that I do care about the people in my life even if I can't feel it. It's not the caring that's missing it's the connection to emotions. A way I've found helpful to try to reconnect is to notice when I'm grateful that person is around. It doesn't come anywhere close to fixing it but it occasionally works.
 

Friday

Moderator
It’s not something I’ve ever worked on per se... it’s just something I’ve learned to expect to happen, and to basically ignore & act-as-if. Because I don’t have to FEEL love for someone, to know that I love them, and act lovingly towards them. No different than when I wake up feeling like an asshole, but don’t take my shit out on other people. Just because I’m angry, that’s no reason to treat the people around me like garbage, nor is feeling disconnected a reason to act distant nor to manufacture distance.

It DID take me a few years to learn that, though. Early days? I broke up with people, or ended friendships, or moved away... because that’s what I thought you were “supposed” to do. If you don’t love someone? Don’t string them along, but give them a chance to find someone who would love them, and yourself a chance to find someone to love. But? Time and time again, I’d leave... and then a few weeks/months later I’d get my feelings back. Well shit. Too late now! >.<

So I tried sticking around. Low and behold? 9 times out of 10 the pane lifted in its own time, and I loved them just as much as I ever had.
 

Strangelongtrip

MyPTSD Pro
Thank you both! I ended up getting a med change and my emotions are starting to come back, thank goodness. Both of those are great thoughts to remember. I try to still act lovingly towards people, no matter how I'm feeling. usually I don't have as much capacity to do so, though. I think it's just scary when you can't feel it.
 

triptych

New Here
Totally get it being scary to show emotions when you don’t feel it. I also think I don’t have as good a gauge on other people’s feelings and how things effect them when I can’t feel my own. As someone who’s normally hyperaware of other people’s moods it kinda feels like being on a boat without a paddle.
 
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