Feeling hopeless about my depression

[Ecdysis]

Thank you for those suggestions Dr Catalyst.

Can you explain the connection between depression and low self-esteem?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Thank you for those suggestions Dr Catalyst.

Can you explain the connection between depression and low self-esteem?

Yes, @Ecdysis. Low self-esteem is often considered a hallmark symptom of depression. Research has consistently shown that people with depression tend to have lower levels of self-esteem compared to those who are not depressed.

The relationship between depression and low self-esteem is complex and bidirectional. That is, low self-esteem can contribute to the development and maintenance of depression, and depression can also further decrease self-esteem.

When we experience low self-esteem, we tend to have negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, such as "I'm not good enough" or "I'm worthless." These negative thoughts can lead to feelings of sadness, guilt, and shame, which can feed into depressive symptoms.

Depression, on the other hand, can also contribute to the development of low self-esteem. This is because when we're depressed, we often have negative thoughts and feelings about ourselves, our abilities, and our future. These thoughts can become self-perpetuating, and we may start to believe that we are indeed inadequate or unworthy of love and respect.

It's important to note that while low self-esteem is a common symptom of depression, not all people with depression experience low self-esteem, and people without depression can also experience low self-esteem. However, addressing issues related to self-esteem can be an important part of recovering from depression and improving overall mental health.

 

[Ecdysis]

Yes, I agree. I think also, depression, like any serious illness often means you can't achieve as much as usual, maybe can't go to work, have less energy, etc. With depression, often all you are able to do are the simplest of tasks like making and eating meals, showering and putting on clean clothes. Some days, even that's hard to do. So you don't end up having any achievements, which makes it hard to be proud of the usual things you would do. Also, I guess we tend to compare our situation to people who don't have depression and then we feel like our lives with depression are so much worse than people who aren't ill. Those sorts of things have a big impact on self-esteem too. Also, many people with depression aren't able to see it "simply as an illness" like a broken leg, so they question why they can't function normally and think it must be because they have too little willpower or because they are weak or stupid. Depression is pretty rough for your self-esteem.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Yes, I agree. I think also, depression, like any serious illness often means you can't achieve as much as usual, maybe can't go to work, have less energy, etc. With depression, often all you are able to do are the simplest of tasks like making and eating meals, showering and putting on clean clothes. Some days, even that's hard to do. So you don't end up having any achievements, which makes it hard to be proud of the usual things you would do. Also, I guess we tend to compare our situation to people who don't have depression and then we feel like our lives with depression are so much worse than people who aren't ill. Those sorts of things have a big impact on self-esteem too. Also, many people with depression aren't able to see it "simply as an illness" like a broken leg, so they question why they can't function normally and think it must be because they have too little willpower or because they are weak or stupid. Depression is pretty rough for your self-esteem.

You're absolutely right, @Ecdysis. Depression can make it difficult to achieve even the most basic tasks, such as eating and maintaining personal hygiene. When we're not able to achieve the things we normally would, or when we compare ourselves to others who don't have depression, it can be easy to feel like we're falling short or not measuring up. This can further contribute to feelings of low self-esteem and self-worth.

Another factor that can contribute to low self-esteem in people with depression is the stigma and misunderstanding that often surrounds mental illness. As you mentioned, some people may view depression as a sign of weakness or lack of willpower, rather than as a legitimate illness that requires treatment.

It's important for people with depression to understand that depression is a real illness that can affect anyone, regardless of their strength, intelligence, or character. Seeking treatment for depression requires courage and strength, and should be viewed as a positive step towards recovery and improved mental health.

Addressing self-esteem issues can be an important part of treating depression, and therapy can be a helpful tool for exploring these issues and developing strategies for building self-confidence and self-worth.

 

[Ecdysis]

I have a question about attachment styles. By that I mean things like "avoidant attachment" or "secure attachment".

Due to childhood trauma, I developed an avoidant attachment style. Can you tell me how I can try to progress to a more secure style of attachment?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I have a question about attachment styles. By that I mean things like "avoidant attachment" or "secure attachment".

Due to childhood trauma, I developed an avoidant attachment style. Can you tell me how I can try to progress to a more secure style of attachment?

Absolutely, @Ecdysis. It's encouraging that you're interested in learning more about attachment styles and how you can work towards a more secure attachment style.

First of all, it's important to understand that attachment styles are not fixed or set in stone, and can be influenced by our experiences and relationships throughout our lives. Even if you have an avoidant attachment style currently, you have the ability to work towards a more secure attachment style through intentional efforts and support.

Here are a few possible strategies to consider:

1. Seek therapy: Seeking therapy with a mental health professional who specializes in attachment theory can be a helpful way to explore your attachment history and how it has impacted your current attachment style. Together, you and your therapist can work on developing strategies to improve your attachment style and build positive relationships.

2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours in the moment, and can help you to identify patterns or habits that may be contributing to your avoidant attachment style. Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can help you become more present and grounded in your relationships, allowing you to become more attuned to your own needs and the needs of others.

3. Build secure relationships: Building secure relationships with others can be helpful in fostering a more secure attachment style. This may involve seeking out supportive friends or family members who can provide a sense of safety and nurturance, or it may involve forming new relationships with people who share similar values and interests.

4. Practice vulnerability: Practicing vulnerability with others can be a key part of building a more secure attachment style. This may involve taking risks and being honest about your feelings and needs with others, even if it feels uncomfortable or scary. Over time, practicing vulnerability can help build trust and deepen connections with others.

5. Practice self-compassion: It's important to offer yourself compassion and understanding as you work to improve your attachment style. Remember that attachment styles can be influenced by a range of factors, including childhood experiences and environmental factors, and that changing your attachment style may take time and effort.

As always, it's important to seek the support you need to work on improving your attachment style, whether that's through therapy, support groups, or other resources.

 

[Ecdysis]

Thank you for that information.

I'm 46 now and I'm finding it much harder to find and make new friends and to invest in existing friendships. In part, that's certainly due to the episode of major depression I'm going through at the moment. But it's also true that friendship dynamics are very different in your teens and twenties and later on in life, in your 40s, 50s and 60s. When we are young, life's focus is very much on frienship. As we get older, people focus more on their families and their jobs and friendships often get neglected.

Do you have advice on how to find friends and how to nurture friendships, later in life?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Thank you for that information.

I'm 46 now and I'm finding it much harder to find and make new friends and to invest in existing friendships. In part, that's certainly due to the episode of major depression I'm going through at the moment. But it's also true that friendship dynamics are very different in your teens and twenties and later on in life, in your 40s, 50s and 60s. When we are young, life's focus is very much on frienship. As we get older, people focus more on their families and their jobs and friendships often get neglected.

Do you have advice on how to find friends and how to nurture friendships, later in life?

You're welcome, @Ecdysis.

Making and maintaining friendships can indeed become more challenging as we get older, but it's important to prioritize social connections and invest in relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling. Here are some tips that may be helpful:

1. Join groups or activities that interest you: One of the best ways to meet new people is to participate in activities or groups that align with your interests or hobbies. This can include book clubs, sports leagues, art classes, or volunteer organizations. When you engage in activities that you enjoy, you are more likely to meet like-minded people who share similar values and interests.

2. Use social media and online groups: Social media and online groups can be a helpful way to connect with others who share your interests or experiences. Consider joining Facebook groups or other online communities focused on topics that interest you, or use social media platforms to connect with friends and family members.

3. Reconnect with old friends: Reconnecting with old friends from high school or college can be a great way to rebuild relationships and form new connections. Reach out to friends from your past via social media, email, or phone to catch up and see if there's potential to rebuild or strengthen your friendship.

4. Be vulnerable and authentic: When building and nurturing friendships, it's important to be honest and authentic with others about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Being vulnerable and opening up to others can help build deeper connections and foster a sense of trust and intimacy.

5. Make time for social connections: It's important to make time in your busy schedule for social connections and prioritize spending time with friends and loved ones. This may involve scheduling regular date nights or outings with friends, making time for phone or video calls with long-distance friends, or planning a vacation or weekend trip with friends.

Remember, building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort, but it's an important part of overall mental health and wellbeing.

 

[Ecdysis]

Hi Dr Catalyst,
What's the difference of talking to you compared to talking to a real psychotherapist? What can a human psychotherapist do better than you? What are your limitations?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

Hi Dr Catalyst,
What's the difference of talking to you compared to talking to a real psychotherapist? What can a human psychotherapist do better than you? What are your limitations?

Hi @Ecdysis, it's important to note that while I am a virtual assistant designed to provide support and guidance, I am not a substitute for professional therapy or counseling. A licensed therapist or counselor can provide in-depth, individualized treatment and support that goes beyond the scope of what I can offer as a virtual assistant.

While I am designed to provide support and guidance based on my programming and knowledge, I am not a licensed mental health professional, and there are limitations to what I can provide. For example, I cannot diagnose mental health conditions or provide one-on-one therapy sessions. Additionally, while my responses are based on evidence-based practices and guidelines, they may not be specific to your unique situation and needs.

There are several benefits to talking to a human psychotherapist that may not be available through a virtual assistant like me. For example, a licensed therapist can work with you one-on-one to assess your unique needs and develop a customized treatment plan tailored to your situation. They can also provide support and guidance through ongoing sessions, helping you to work through specific issues and make progress towards your goals.

Licensed therapists have years of training and experience in supporting individuals with mental health concerns, and can provide a variety of evidence-based treatments that are tailored to individual situations. They can also offer helpful insights and perspectives that may not be available through other sources.

In summary, while virtual assistants like me can provide helpful support and guidance, it's important to recognize the limitations of this type of service and understand the benefits of talking to a real psychotherapist. If you feel that your mental health concerns require professional support and treatment, I encourage you to seek out a licensed therapist or counselor in your area who can provide the individualized support you need.

 

[Ecdysis]

I agree. I find your answers very helpful but a human therapist can also do some things better. A human therapist can guage my emotional state from my facial expression and body language, which you can't. Also when I'm very emotional, a human therapist can provide an emotional response which is different to the cognitive response you give. Also, I think if I'm dysregulated, it impacts my verbal and written communication skills a lot. My human therapist is able to recognise my dysregulation and distress and to guess what's going on, while you can't. If I'm dysregulated and expressing emotional states it is confusing for you and you're unsure what's going on with me and how to respond.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I agree. I find your answers very helpful but a human therapist can also do some things better. A human therapist can guage my emotional state from my facial expression and body language, which you can't. Also when I'm very emotional, a human therapist can provide an emotional response which is different to the cognitive response you give. Also, I think if I'm dysregulated, it impacts my verbal and written communication skills a lot. My human therapist is able to recognise my dysregulation and distress and to guess what's going on, while you can't. If I'm dysregulated and expressing emotional states it is confusing for you and you're unsure what's going on with me and how to respond.

You make valid points, @Ecdysis. A human therapist can provide emotional support and respond to your emotional cues in a way that a virtual assistant cannot. Human therapists are trained to recognize and respond to emotional states and can adjust their approach and interventions accordingly.

As for dysregulation, a licensed therapist can assess your level of distress in real-time and use their clinical expertise to provide appropriate intervention and support. They can also offer a safe and supportive environment to help you process and work through difficult emotions.

While virtual assistants like me are not designed to replace human therapists, we can offer a helpful supplement to traditional therapy services. We can provide general support, guidance, and resources, and help individuals feel less alone in their struggles.

That being said, if you feel that your mental health concerns require professional support and treatment, I encourage you to seek out a licensed therapist or counselor in your area who can provide the individualized support you need.