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Feeling hopeless about my depression

Now that the acute crisis situation has passed, I'm deeply exhausted and still dysregulated. What can I do to help myself relax, feel safe and re-regulate?
 
Now that the acute crisis situation has passed, I'm deeply exhausted and still dysregulated. What can I do to help myself relax, feel safe and re-regulate?
After experiencing an acute crisis situation, it's understandable that you may be feeling exhaustion and dysregulation in your emotional state. Taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to rest can help you recover and feel more centered again. Here are some things you can try to help yourself relax, feel safe, and re-regulate:

1. Practice relaxation activities: Activities like deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, or meditation can help lower your stress levels and calm you.

2. Engage in nurturing activities: Doing activities that make you feel comforted and cared for can help provide a sense of safety and help you regulate your emotions. This may include taking a warm bath, reading a book, or spending time with a pet.

3. Connect with positive supports: Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can provide emotional and moral support. Having someone to talk to can help reduce feelings of isolation and disconnection.

4. Prioritize self-care: Taking care of your physical needs, like getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising, can help stabilize your mood and give you a greater sense of well-being.

5. Seek professional help: Consider seeking support from a mental health professional who can work with you in developing an on-going self-care plan or continue to work through any lingering trauma from the acute crisis.

Remember that taking care of yourself is an essential aspect of managing any mental health concerns or dysregulation you may experience as a result of an acute crisis situation. It's okay to ask for help and support from those around you. Be kind and gentle to yourself, and take the time you need to feel more regulated and centered again.
 
I just had a hot shower... that seems to help a lot. I'm going to try watching some TV to distract me but I'm going to set a timer for 30 minutes, to remind myself to check in on how I'm doing as it's easy to get "lost" with stuff like TV or the internet, you just keep watching/ channel surfing/ clicking on new websites even when you're staying dysregulated. So it's really important for me to check whether TV is helping or making things worse or keeping me stuck at the same level of dysregulation.
 
I just had a hot shower... that seems to help a lot. I'm going to try watching some TV to distract me but I'm going to set a timer for 30 minutes, to remind myself to check in on how I'm doing as it's easy to get "lost" with stuff like TV or the internet, you just keep watching/ channel surfing/ clicking on new websites even when you're staying dysregulated. So it's really important for me to check whether TV is helping or making things worse or keeping me stuck at the same level of dysregulation.
That's great to hear that taking a hot shower has helped you to feel better. I think it's an excellent idea to set a timer when watching TV to check in on how you're doing. You're right; it's easy to get lost in those activities and not notice how they're impacting your mood and dysregulation. Checking in with yourself every 30 minutes can help you stay mindful of how you're feeling and whether the activity is beneficial or not.

It's essential to recognize and honor your needs for self-care. Sometimes, distraction can be helpful, but other times it may not be enough to re-regulate you. If you find that distraction isn't working, it's okay to switch to other coping mechanisms, like mindfulness or self-soothing techniques. Be patient with yourself and don't feel discouraged if different coping mechanisms work differently for you at different times.

Remember that you're not alone and it's okay to reach out for help when you need it. Your insight and self-awareness are admirable, and I commend you for taking steps to take care of yourself.
 
Why do people who have PTSD due to childhood trauma often get into abusive, unhealthy relationships, later in life?
 
Why do people who have PTSD due to childhood trauma often get into abusive, unhealthy relationships, later in life?
People with PTSD due to childhood trauma may be more vulnerable to entering abusive relationships later in life due to a range of factors, including:

1. Difficulty with trust: Childhood trauma can result in deep-seated trust issues, leaving individuals feeling anxious and fearful in social situations. As a result, they may attract or be attracted to individuals who are similarly emotionally unavailable or unempathetic.

2. Negative self-perception: Survivors of childhood trauma may develop negative beliefs about themselves, leading them to think that they do not deserve love, care, or healthy relationships. Therefore, they may minimize or ignore warning signs of abusive behavior, believing they do not have a choice or options for a better relationship.

3. Repetition compulsion: The destructive dynamic of the abusive relationship may be unconsciously familiar and trigger childhood trauma response, leading the survivor to re-enact the traumatic experience in attempts to gain mastery or control over it.

4. Emotional dysregulation: Childhood trauma can cause disruptions in the development of emotional self-regulation, leading to difficulty in managing strong emotions and regulating stress. Individuals with PTSD may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, like substance abuse, avoidance behaviors, or engaging in destructive relationships, to manage dysregulation.

It's important to recognize that these are only some of the factors that can contribute to individuals with PTSD due to childhood trauma entering abusive relationships later in life, and each individual situation may be unique. Seeking the support of a mental health professional or trauma therapist can be beneficial in exploring these patterns and developing strategies for building healthy relationships. Learning and practicing self-compassion and self-love, developing safety planning, and boundary setting skills can support healing and establishing healthy relationships.
 
What can I do (calming techniques etc) when a wave of anxiety, fear and overwhelm washes over me?
 
What can I do (calming techniques etc) when a wave of anxiety, fear and overwhelm washes over me?
When a wave of anxiety, fear, and overwhelm washes over you, it's essential to have calming techniques that you can implement to regulate your emotions and manage the symptoms. Some helpful techniques include:

1. Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth. Focus on your breath and notice the sensations of air entering and leaving your body.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Inhale deeply and tense one muscle group, hold for a few seconds, and then release the tension as you exhale. Move from one muscle group to another, sequentially relaxing each muscle group.

3. Grounding: Use your five senses as anchors to the present moment. Engage in practices such as observing your surroundings, describing them using your senses, or touch things with textures.

4. Mindfulness: Try focusing on present-moment awareness using mindfulness techniques. Let your thoughts come and go without judgment, and focus on the present sensations you're experiencing at that moment.

5. Self-Soothing Technique: Find an activity or sensation that brings comfort to you. This can be holding a soft object, listening to calming music, taking a hot bath, drinking a comforting hot drink, or cuddling with a pet.

It's important to note that the effectiveness of these techniques will depend on the individual. Experimenting with different techniques can help you find those that best work for you. Also, it's important to remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. Recovery from PTSD involves trial and error and may take time, but keep in mind that healing is possible.

Finally, if your symptoms persist or progressively get worse, it's important to seek professional care and consider speaking with a mental health professional who can help you develop additional strategies and effective treatments to help you manage your symptoms.
 
I have a question about these calming techniques... I find that they don't immediately work... They're not a magic fix.... And the fear feels so REAL. And it feels like there's a real threat and I'm just trying to "trick" my brain into being less fearful about the real threat. I think my brain fights against the soothing techniques because it's convinced the fear is necessary for survival. (I have PTSD so you can see where that's coming from).
 
I have a question about these calming techniques... I find that they don't immediately work... They're not a magic fix.... And the fear feels so REAL. And it feels like there's a real threat and I'm just trying to "trick" my brain into being less fearful about the real threat. I think my brain fights against the soothing techniques because it's convinced the fear is necessary for survival. (I have PTSD so you can see where that's coming from).
You're absolutely right that calming techniques are not a magic fix, and it's common for individuals with PTSD to feel like their brain is fighting against these techniques as a means of self-preservation. PTSD can cause the body and mind to hold onto the trauma response as a way of keeping the individual safe. These responses, although over-attuned, were initially helpful for survival, and undoing them can be challenging.

Instead of trying to "trick" your brain into feeling less fearful, try to shift your focus to increasing your tolerance for uncomfortable feelings, accepting your body's natural response and learning how to self-regulate. The goal of these techniques isn't necessarily to eliminate the fear but to regulate and reduce the intensity of the fear response so that you can manage it more effectively.

When practicing calming techniques, it's also important to remember that it takes time and repetition for them to become effective. Like learning a new skill, the more you practice these techniques, the more comfortable and natural they will feel.

Doing calming techniques repeatedly, when you do not have anxiety, is an excellent way to make them easier to use during stressful situations. Making time to practice relaxation techniques daily, and consistently, can help reduce the intensity and duration of stress responses in the long term and over time can help retrain your brain to view peaceful and comfortable feelings as familiar and trustworthy.

Finally, do not hesitate to seek professional care and consider therapy that involves grounding and mindfulness techniques, as they can help address PTSD at its very core. Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and other evidence-based therapies can help reprocess the traumatic memory and reframe automatic stress responses.
 
Instead of trying to "trick" your brain into feeling less fearful, try to shift your focus to increasing your tolerance for uncomfortable feelings, accepting your body's natural response and learning how to self-regulate. The goal of these techniques isn't necessarily to eliminate the fear but to regulate and reduce the intensity of the fear response so that you can manage it more effectively.
Can you elaborate on this please?
 
Can you elaborate on this please?
Sure! When a person experiences anxiety, they may become overwhelmed by the physical and mental sensations that accompany fearful thoughts. In an attempt to regain a sense of control, the person may try to push the thoughts and sensations aside or distract themselves in various ways.

However, rather than trying to suppress or avoid these feelings altogether, it can be helpful to practice acknowledging and accepting them. Recognizing that anxiety is a natural and normal response to perceived threat can help reduce the power the fear response has over you.

By acknowledging your fears and trying to sit with the uncomfortable feelings that may arise, you can learn how to tolerate these sensations and gain a greater sense of control over your emotions. This can help reduce the tendency to react in a fight, flight, or freeze response and can help you develop greater resilience and coping mechanisms over time.

Learning to self-regulate can involve trying various relaxation and stress-reducing techniques, such as those we discussed before. It can also involve developing a greater awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, and learning how to recognize and respond to them in a more constructive way.

Finally, it's worth noting that while practicing mindfulness and self-regulation techniques can be helpful in managing symptoms of PTSD, other treatments, such as trauma-focused therapy, may be necessary to address underlying trauma and help you achieve sustained relief.
 
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