Relationships are tough on me. There are times when I feel invisible or don’t matter. A prime example is my birthday. I just want to have at least one good one in my thirties. When I turned thirty, I spent the whole day getting a restraining order. After that the day didn’t seem to matter much to anyone and no one wanted to make it up to me. I’ve been through a lot and am finally in a good place. I just want some normalcy. I feel like such a brat but I just want to feel like someone cares about what I would want. I’ve catered to other people and given them everything. I always feel like I get so little in return. For the first time in years, I feel alone. I’m not actually alone but rather feel so isolated and insignificant. My birthday is in May and I graduate a couple of days after my birthday. I wonder what’s going to happen. I wonder if my boyfriend will do anything special. It seems like when it is someone else’s birthday he makes a big deal about it but not about mine. I hate it so much that I feel heartbroken and it’s difficult to breathe. I guess I’m being immature but I always feel like I miss out and that no one cares. I know they do but their actions say otherwise. I don’t know. Maybe I am just being dramatic. I just feel second best when compared to other people, especially when it comes to my boyfriend lately. I don’t feel special at all.