Feeling like I’m selfish in my relationship

littlestars

Confident
My boyfriend has been going through a lot lately and I feel like a selfish jerk. Granted he’s there for me and understands my issues but I’m starting to think I’m a self centered person because of this disorder. I have been thinking a lot lately about how I want to change by looking at my strengths and weaknesses. I’m crying over past trauma while my boyfriend just lost his job and I am on disability. I help pay bills: half utilities and internet and a couple hundred towards rent, which isn’t much. He becomes physically I’ll and feels awful most of the time. He talks to me about his feelings, but doesn’t really cry. I told him the other day that I wish I was like him and didn’t meltdown during stress. The littlest thing will set me off. I want to be a better person and stop this self centered behavior but I don’t know where to begin. I feel like being the youngest in my family and the only girl has helped shape me into this mindset along with how I personally react to my trauma.

Please help. I feel like I need to grow up.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
gentle empathy, littlestars. i often feel like mental illness is such a hungry demon that it eats up my entire capacity to give and i slide into self-loathing when i let the feeling fester. giving into my martyr complex ends up with neglecting self-care and creating unacceptable collateral damage with the mighty snap of my super cape.

oh for the love of balance. . .

i shoot for the balance by being gentle and compassionate with myself and the extra care demanded by my mental illness while making it a point to commit at least 3 selfless acts every day.
 
Top