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Message: <blockquote data-quote="RNrecovery" data-source="post: 1788932" data-attributes="member: 50900">I am on the other side. It took me awhile but I am here. I didn't take for most of my 20s because I wanted to work on myself. I grew up in an traumatic environment. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive. I spent a lot of years just feeling confident in friendships, doing well at work/school, and figuring out what my hobbies and interests where. My friend long term relationship was a dud. I thought being in a relationship that didn't involved yelling, conflicts, or fighting was the pinnacle of success. Luckily I realized the error in my thinking. I found my wife in my mid 30s and started dating her in my late 30s. I have know her for ten years and been married for 5 years. I can't imagine having a better relationship. We have conflicts but we communicate really well so we never really "fight." We both have childhood issues but somehow we still fit. A big part of our success is that we are both introspective and independently motivate to keep being a better version of ourselves. Keep working on yourself and your person will be there. I wouldn't trade any moments of strife in my younger years for what I have with her now. I feel the same butterflies when she walks in the door that I felt the first time I kissed her. I hope that for everyone.</blockquote>