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Other Feeling like my PTSD doesn't count...

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Alli D87

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I feel so guilty all the time and like I'm faking it somehow. I was emotionally abused by my narcissistic mother in law while my partner, her son, was battling cancer. The thing is that most of it happened behind my back. I would say 80% of it. I mean the other 20% is bad enough bullying and emotional torture that I get flashbacks about. But I still feel so stupid and weak for letting all the rest bother me so much. I was in hospital recently for being suicidal and the social worker who was assigned to me said I can't get PTSD from bullying... my psychiatrist told me not to listen to her but it has kind of reinforced this thought I've had about it not being bad enough to warrant all the PTSD symptoms I have, I know I have PTSD and I am valid. It's just that little nagging voice in the back of my mind that bothers me so much.

(a bit of context. My boyfriend couldn't be under stress for it could cause complications with recovery from his transplant. well his mother, every day, was trashing me and lying about how horrible of a person I am, treating her like garbage. And he has trouble standing up to her as it is. So we both just took it. I let him tell me everything she was saying so he wouldn't hold it in and not survive somehow. I couldn't risk losing him... So that's some of the 80% that was done behind my back)
 
Having or not having PTSD isn’t a badge of honor, but it must feel incredibly invalidating to have a social worker tell you that you can’t have it from bullying after your Doctor diagnosed it as such. Can you request a different social worker on your case?
 
PTSD is reeally straight forward in many ways to diagnose.

Life threatening trauma OR sexual violence.

Unless the emotional bullying included threats to life or body integrity or of sexual violence, or acts of it?

Yeah. It's not PTSD. It's a different anxiety or else, disorder.
 
Didn't you experience CSA prior to this? I'd guess the CSA caused the PTSD and this triggered it all to come up.
 
My abuser did threaten my life... And her bf did too as well as threats of violence. I'm afraid of them. And yes the CSA has bothered me my whole life but after the narc abuse it came to the front of my mind. (Narc and her bf had sex while I was in the other room, I heard it all). Plus I've never really likes sex either. So it's possible ptsd from CSA brought forward by the more recent abuse. Though most of my flashbacks are from the more recent abuse... It's confusing
 
I'm a bit more interested in "my ptsd doesn't count"???

I dunno, I just find the idea disturbing. Count for what? Reads to me like code for I got treated like shit and I didn't like it.
 
I'm a bit more interested in "my ptsd doesn't count"???

I dunno, I just find the idea disturbing. Count for what? Reads to me like code for I got treated like shit and I didn't like it.
I feel like it wasn't bad enough to cause me to have ptsd though it did. Like some people have had way worse things happen to them. I know everyone reacts to things in their life differently. That could be why this form of bullying gave me ptsd. I just... Feel very invalidated sometimes.
 
Thank you for clarifying.
Comparisons aren't useful or necessary. Neither are crutches, though they are necessary for a time (temporarily). Rather than waste your efforts on the degree or how bad, or whether... any therapeutic goal is about your life and improving it. 'k?
 
Thank you for clarifying.
Comparisons aren't useful or necessary. Neither are crutches, though they are necessary for a time (temporarily). Rather than waste your efforts on the degree or how bad, or whether... any therapeutic goal is about your life and improving it. 'k?

Thank you
 
I feel so guilty all the time and like I'm faking it somehow. I was emotionally abused by my narcissistic mother in law while my partner, her son, was battling cancer. The thing is that most of it happened behind my back. I would say 80% of it. I mean the other 20% is bad enough bullying and emotional torture that I get flashbacks about. But I still feel so stupid and weak for letting all the rest bother me so much. I was in hospital recently for being suicidal and the social worker who was assigned to me said I can't get PTSD from bullying... my psychiatrist told me not to listen to her but it has kind of reinforced this thought I've had about it not being bad enough to warrant all the PTSD symptoms I have, I know I have PTSD and I am valid. It's just that little nagging voice in the back of my mind that bothers me so much.

(a bit of context. My boyfriend couldn't be under stress for it could cause complications with recovery from his transplant. well his mother, every day, was trashing me and lying about how horrible of a person I am, treating her like garbage. And he has trouble standing up to her as it is. So we both just took it. I let him tell me everything she was saying so he wouldn't hold it in and not survive somehow. I couldn't risk losing him... So that's some of the 80% that was done behind my back)

I am a mental health nurse and see a lot of clients with PTSD symptoms from traumatizing narcissists including into are partners and toxic managers and coworkers. For many there was no physical violence but continuous psychological abuse and manipulation leading to the PTSD type symptoms, even though no physical harm was present. The DSM 5 criteria uses the term actual or threatened harm, but this critera has been the focus of ongoing debate. It is now considered a trauma and stress related disorder rather than an anxiety disorder. At the moment the critical element is that harm is specified in physical terms. But even if you do not meet the diagnostic criteria due to the non physical nature of the experience, harm has occured.
 
I was in hospital recently for being suicidal and the social worker who was assigned to me said I can't get PTSD from bullying
It’s like you can’t get PTSD from being married, getting divorced, driving a car, or going skiing.

Bullying, in and of itself, isn’t life threatening trauma or sexual assault.

Bullying can INCLUDE life threatening trauma or sexual assault, just like a marriage, divorce, driving, or skiing can include life threatening trauma or sexual assault.

Whilst it may seem like splitting hairs? Traumatized brains make associations that aren’t really there. So it seems perfectly obvious to the person talking about it that driving a car = being kidnapped for ransom, going skiing = getting raped, getting divorced = witnessing your spouse murder your children, being married = domestic violence? It’s not obvious to the rest of the world that has experienced those things without trauma attached.

It’s also very classically PTSD to avoid thinking/talking about the trauma itself by assigning the blame for the trauma on some outside but nearby thing. AND very classically PTSD to assign the blame to the ginormous stressor that hurts the most when the life threatening trauma or sexual assault in the history? Pfft. I don’t care about that. That was nothing. THIS is what I care about.

A trick... if you’re avoiding naming your trauma by giving it a nicer name in better circumstances, and you’re having to interact with professionals who know that those things cannot cause PTSD? Events that happened during my /whilst I was/ ((_________)) gave me PTSD. That way you don’t have to specifically name what event(s), and if the person is a classic-idiot and follows up with “What events?” :woot: .... :shifty: Aaargh... You simply say you’re working on them with your trauma therapist, and would prefer not to talk about them (as rapidly decompensating would be a bad idea, right?). That last piece smacks professionals who ought to know better, upside the head. Oh. Right. We don’t grill trauma victims about their trauma. Oopsies.
 
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