Alli D87
Learning
I feel so guilty all the time and like I'm faking it somehow. I was emotionally abused by my narcissistic mother in law while my partner, her son, was battling cancer. The thing is that most of it happened behind my back. I would say 80% of it. I mean the other 20% is bad enough bullying and emotional torture that I get flashbacks about. But I still feel so stupid and weak for letting all the rest bother me so much. I was in hospital recently for being suicidal and the social worker who was assigned to me said I can't get PTSD from bullying... my psychiatrist told me not to listen to her but it has kind of reinforced this thought I've had about it not being bad enough to warrant all the PTSD symptoms I have, I know I have PTSD and I am valid. It's just that little nagging voice in the back of my mind that bothers me so much.
(a bit of context. My boyfriend couldn't be under stress for it could cause complications with recovery from his transplant. well his mother, every day, was trashing me and lying about how horrible of a person I am, treating her like garbage. And he has trouble standing up to her as it is. So we both just took it. I let him tell me everything she was saying so he wouldn't hold it in and not survive somehow. I couldn't risk losing him... So that's some of the 80% that was done behind my back)
(a bit of context. My boyfriend couldn't be under stress for it could cause complications with recovery from his transplant. well his mother, every day, was trashing me and lying about how horrible of a person I am, treating her like garbage. And he has trouble standing up to her as it is. So we both just took it. I let him tell me everything she was saying so he wouldn't hold it in and not survive somehow. I couldn't risk losing him... So that's some of the 80% that was done behind my back)