I am feeling a little out of sorts today, it isn't as bad as in the past but I had some bad nightmare's last night and woke up a little anxiety ridden. It has been off and on today, I took some breaks at work did the breathing and that is all going well. Honestly I have told myself that I won't consider suicide an option, I won't do that but those damn thoughts still come at me. Cutting has been my way of gaining control but I don't want to do that either and sometimes it gets hard, I can remember how it felt, how it took away the pain and how it didn't hurt until afterward. I still have that urge and I don't want to do it. How the hell do I get rid of the urge. I almost feel itchy over it like I need to scratch the inside of myself. I know I am wierd.