Feeling sucidal

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Pauline

Confident
Hi guys so I haven't posted on here for a while but my mum has cancer and I am living in the uk when she is in the states I hate my father I find my daddy terrifying and want nothing to do with him I know why I find him terrifying but it's hard to say out loud I want to tell my psychiatrist that's I had a nightmare about him a month ago where he ripped off all my clothes when I was young and said your mother can't protect you now I woke up screaming and the next day I self harmed and ended up in hospital but I was hardly going to tell the doctors this I told my mother and she ignored it my sister does not believe I was sexually abused and it's frustrating me she thinks I'm afraid of my father because he wore suits all my childhood coming home from work I regress when I talk to him and I can't stand feeling like a younger girl I miss my self harm a lot I want someone to talk to and anyone to be on my side so I can express my fear and I don't know who to reach out to I wanted it to be anyone but a psychologist I wanted it to be a friend of a family member but I'm scared to tell my counsellor this he will think I'm insane I am overwhelmed by fear of my daddy and I can't stand it luckily he is not living with me at the moment but even when I'm not with him it's still so annoying I don't know how to fix this situation over my Dad my sister said I should be grateful for everything he's done for us I am just wanting somebody to give me a way out and it's just not happening does anyone else have experience in these feelings how do I get my sister to be with me in this
 

zero

Learning
Hey there,

I want to help and at the same time, I am not familiar w/the services that may be available to you in the UK. I have 2 thoughts - and I don't want to come across as being rude in any way. My first thought is going to a hospital/emergency room and telling them what you've posted here - it's important, shweet heart! I think it's important for you to get some help with your situation. My second thought is to speak w/the police, they also can direct you to people that can help, in your area. There may be a crisis line to help folks dealing with domestic violence and abuse. We've got one in our town.

I am thinking along safety lines - for you! My mommy bear aspect is also flaring up!! I wish there was something I could do to help you, myself!

Nobody is allowed to hurt or harm another human being - especially if it's your parent ! ! ! dangit!

It doesn't matter if they provide a house/food/clothes for you - it is NO EXCUSE to act cruelly towards YOU. They don't get a license to be abusive! What he's doing is *wrong.*

I'm prayin' and hoping for your safey, shweet heart.

Stay in touch.
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I’m in uk.

as you have a psychiatrist I am guessing you have a local entail health team? Have yours got a 24 hour contact team?

I guess i’d Suggest you ask yourself why you feel you can’t tell your Dr or anyone else why you are afraid of your father? Is your diagnosis PTSD? Do they know you suffered abuse? Knowing this could impact your treatment and the type of help you receive. All that is positive.

How you can get your sister on side. Well, I think that that’s less positive. There is a chance that you maybe can’t. Your sister will have a different experience of childhood memories.

That does NOT mean you are without support and hope! Do you have that 24 hr number?
 

Pauline

Confident
Thank you guys I'm going to get up the courage to tell my counsellor this week about my distress of my dad and then hopefully focus on moving out my mother is very sick and I am also very traumatised by this matter I might just write it down and show him the piece of paper instead X
 

KimmyO

Learning
I am so sorry of your nightmares and fears of past. It would be very good to talk to your counselor about all this, since it is so deep and eating at you. She will be able to give you clarification and wisdom in what to do. Dreams are weird, sometimes it is what happened long ago or sometimes a fear of what might happen or sometimes it is just flat crazy, having nothing to do with reality, and finally, sometimes it is just pizza... Only you and your Dad know. Just because something happened to you long ago it doesn't mean it happened to your sister, she may be completely free from that experience and so doesn't believe it happened to you. I am amazed at how different siblings lives can be and how unaware of what happened to other siblings. Do not hurt yourself, you are a treasure and are to be valued and cared for. I am also so sorry to hear of your Mom, would you be able to go to her? Blessings to you, dear.
 
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