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Feelings of extreme anxiety and doom: looking for advice (and also what this is)

Discussion in 'Anxiety, Panic & Hypervigilance' started by littleoc, May 27, 2018.

  1. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

    Starting off, I would like to let everyone know that I am safe and will not hurt myself. Service dog even knows how to prevent it if I fail to get outside help.

    I’m having incredibly high anxiety. Extremely overwhelmed, long story short. It seem to be partially my fault (but not something I really regret, either — not impulsive or anything), but then I also became increasingly overwhelmed.

    It is much beyond a panic or anxiety attack. No heavy breathing or anything like that. But an incredibly intense sense of doom. So intense that I’m having suicidal thoughts saying to end it to get relief from the doom (which in reality must mean, “to get relief from the feelings of doom”).

    I’m fully aware that this is a cognitive distortion. There are multiple triggers (despite having a fantastic week!) and I’m not handling good stress well either.

    I won’t list triggers unless y’all would find that helpful. But will say that I’ve been sleeping in different spaces and am only just now back at my own place (I don’t adjust easily), and a lot is happening right now that is mostly not even fully mine to deal with.

    But I will list that I’ve been trying to use logic to calm myself. Saying to myself that my doom feeling isn’t necessarily the absolute truth, and is a distortion. I’m telling myself that maybe the doom feeling is even just fear that I would act on getting relief, which I won’t because that would be a doom. Also, that logically makes calming down a solution to avoid doom.

    Is this OCD talking? Does anyone know what’s doing this? Also, do you happen to have other advise?

    I am hoping I will feel better extremely soon. Taking anxiety medicines. I am perscribed Prazosin at night and in the morning, and hydroxyzine for anxiety from flashbacks that my service dog offers me. I don’t have anything else for axiety, except for Kava tea which is obviously not meant for relief of these symptoms, lol

    I’m actually starting to become convinced that there’s something wrong with my lungs. Or something. I’m in a lot of pain, can’t eat, lungs keep burning, keep feeling pains.

    Is that anxiety, a blood clot, or what?

    Edit to add: I’m sorry, I’m now thinking it’s possible that the lung pain is related to dehydration.

    Sort of want to never take birth control again all of a sudden.

    This is very uncomfortable.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2018
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  3. MrMoonlight

    MrMoonlight I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    I'm sorry @littleoc ,it's not fair that you have to feel like this, you have such a beautiful spirit, I hope you can slow your mind a little you know. Can you distract with something like a movie?
    Last edited: May 27, 2018
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  4. frogthroat

    frogthroat Well-Known Member

    High anxiety and unbearable feelings of dread are some of the worst things possible to deal with because it seems like it takes so long to come down from it.
    Also, I've read that feeling like you're having all sorts of health issues is part of an anxiety attack.
    The dread feelings are scary. There have been nights I've slept with my lamp on like I'm 5. I think it's important to keep telling yourself that it's a distortion.
    This is going to sound crazy but have you tried ASMR videos to fall asleep to? It's kind of a silly thing but it works for me when I have weird dread anxiety. There's a woman on YouTube called gentlewhispering and her videos are relaxing. There's another lady who's not ASMR named Calista Ascension that talk about unicorn magic and faries and just crazy stuff but her voice is really soothing. I wish I had better suggestions for you.
    Swift and littleoc like this.
  5. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

    This is one of my coping skills, but I completely forgot about it. Maybe I should try a silly movie I’ve seen before and also video games potentially

    Thank you, MrMoonlight, and so do you :hug:

    That’s good to hear for some reason — maybe because it confirms that I’m physically fine. I guess I couldn’t find any danger except worrying about my family, but then worried about silent things like clots in lungs. I had Googled what anxiety had to do with me being unable to absorb food (it’s been a while) and that dick of a search engine said that heart attacks and lung clots can make you feel unexplainably anxious. Which is true but unlikely to be my case, especially since I’m not even a real adult at this point :p

    I will remember that

    I have heard of videos like that but haven’t tried them. I’ll check that out or trying listening to random music :p

    Thank you, @MrMoonlight and @frogthroat
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  6. HollyBeans27

    HollyBeans27 Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

    I, myself, would like to start off by saying that I am glad you have measures in place to keep you safe. Regarding the way you are feeling, the first thing I would say is to get yourself checked out physically to rule out any medical causes for the pain. If you can wait until the morning, that would probably be best because I don’t think a hospital or urgent care would be a good idea given the extreme feelings of doom you are currently experiencing; the hospital would likely make them worse. The second thing I would say is to reach out to your therapist if you have one, especially if this is out of character for you and more stressful than normal. Keep writing if it helps. You are already one step ahead if you can recognize the cognitive distortion and engage in reframing. As for now, until you can see your doctor or therapist, try to let the feelings happen; don’t fight them. You don’t even have to focus on the thought patterns right now if that’s too much. Implement self-care; that’s the best advice anyone can give you! Know you are not alone!
    DharmaGirl and littleoc like this.
  7. frogthroat

    frogthroat Well-Known Member

    Go to WebMD about flu symptoms and you'll think you have 5 types of cancer and are dying of a rare foreign disease. Lol I try to stay away from searching that stuff. You know when you're having a problem and I would rather have a doctor tell me exactly what it is instead of speculating. I hope you're feeling better today and the dread feelings have waned some. If it's beautiful outside like it is by me then maybe you could just sit outside for a little bit and enjoy the sun. You're so positive and uplifting with everyone here on this site you start to worry me when you get really down. Everything is going to work out if you keep pushing through this slump and I know you can because you have an excellent attitude. :hug:
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  8. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

    That sounds like a plan. Resisting can make the feelings fight to be noticed, I forgot that.

    Thank you :)

    I haven’t seen my therapist since the end of April (or maybe early May?) and won’t again until August or September. So I suppose I should plan to visit my hometown and see her again before that, because that might help.

    Thank you again :)

    Lol, true... once I looked up why my knees hurt and WebMD told me I had throat cancer :D That was a good day lol

    A bit, yes. It’s not perfect yet, but I got some sleep last night and that helped a lot. I’m at least thinking more clearly

    It’s thundering, but that can be enjoyable too! :p I’ll be walking the service dog once she’s ready, even if it’s raining, so I think that could help, to be mindful then

    Thank you :hug::hug: And don’t let me worry you — I’ll be okay
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2018
    Abstract likes this.
  9. jade53

    jade53 Active Member Donated

    For whatever help it might be, you seem to have good common sense. Whenever something like that happens I eventually remember to think about is the same as above. If it isn't a dire emergency, (that if it was likely someone else would be attending to), or one of the many unlikely possibilities and persists for more than a few days, it might be worth putting up with going to see a doctor about.

    Unfortunately after being here for a while now I think I think like many who would sooner die of natural causes than have to put up with condescension from another medical practitioner that learned enough to get a license to practice.
    littleoc likes this.
  10. SeekingAfrica

    SeekingAfrica Well-Known Member

    For whatever it's worth, I've felt ALL of what you're describing without having any physical issue.

    It was a year when all things from my past started 'coming back' to me. I was having a lot of very vivid flashback and I was hypervigilant and anxious. ALL the time. It took me a while, but I started going to a T plus taking medication...plus self-soothing and learning about DBT and constantly journaling(like several times a day if needed). I was doing all that, and yet, all those things combined are still not magical and took time to work.

    So for a while I was doing everything to get better and still was in a lot of pain. I was anxious constantly, with addition of occasional flashbacks, panic attacks and headaches. My chest always felt like something really heavy is on it, like breathing through fire. My body felt fatigued and in pain all the time no matter how much rest I got. So much so that I went to get blood tests to check levels of thyroid, vitamin D, and similar things. Nothing was wrong. And when you feel all that it always feels like either something has to be physically wrong, or you're overreacting and you have to suck it up.

    But after a while the therapy and medication and self care did help things settle down. And sometime after that most of those symptoms reduced and then disappeared. So you could have dehydration, but I'm saying this can happen from anxiety too...
    littleoc likes this.
  11. IceQueencop

    IceQueencop New Member

    Re: Looking at things logically and re-framing.

    Feelings of impending doom: When I’ve tried to describe this feeling to others, I describe it as the feeling you get when you read a scary book or watch a scary movie and although the main character doesn’t know something is going to happen, you, the observer know something is going to happen. In the book or movie it’s a good use of foreshadowing, when it’s PTSD, it’s awful. If you know what the triggers are, it’s a little easier to calm your brain, but when you don’t know, it’s so miserable. My T uses the acronym HALT, to ask, are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.
    I have a hard time feeling those things distinctly anymore, I just feel triggered, then the anxiety and doom start up.

    Walking on a treadmill watching a movie, or Netflix for a min. of twenty minutes helps me to regain my balance, but sometimes that’s too much standing still, and I need to run. All the fight/flight hormones are designed to get your body revving, and in PTSD, our engines just keep flooding with this gunk. So, walk and be active and do some cardio every day.

    I started to read the book, “Walking the Tiger,” the author claimed that he watched as gazelles in the mouths of lions, froze and acted like they were dead until they had the chance to escape. He claimed their eyes glazed over and in part of the freeze process, they felt no pain and were able to slip painlessly into death. He went on to explain something about how animals just shake it off and move on, and the rest of what he said didn’t make much sense to me. But, I started to wonder; what if there is a death hormone, or expectation of death hormone? It’s just my layperson theory, but they say PTSD is the failure of trauma memories to store correctly and the so the stress hormones keep circulating because our bodies think we are still in the incident. Then it would make sense to me that the death hormone keeps circulating, too.
    Whether a death hormone actually exists or not, I don’t know. But, I have no trouble assigning any thoughts of suicide to those hormones, noticing them and the being able to let them go. When I can say, “it’s just the hormones, and I don’t need to take any action,” it’s easier to let things go. But, physical activity is still huge.

    I hope things get better for you soon.

    littleoc likes this.
  12. UnKnown-Self

    UnKnown-Self You can call me Alice. Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    You might find it helpful to list your triggers.
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  13. jade53

    jade53 Active Member Donated

    And when looking for what personal triggers that might not be as obvious as others, thinking of whatever "moral injuries" may have been incurred as the result of maybe one initiating incident, or in other cases several, might help understand why the condition was able to manifest in so many weird and wonderful ways.

    Often only us that have that gift that keeps on giving seem to understand how others only helped make it the problem it is.
    Happy hunting
    littleoc likes this.
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