Fight Or Flight Response

[JimmyJames902]

I want to ask, how common is the "flight" response for PTSD sufferers ??

The reason I ask is that my symptoms/behaviours are all rooted in the "flight" response, never the "fight" response. Is this common or is it rare ??

I think my flight-response goes back to the original traumatic event of my childhood. 5 year-olds can't defend themselves against an abusive parent -- I would try to get up and walk out of the room when my dad would be screaming at me for a long time, but whenever I tried to leave the room my dad would say something like, "Where do you think you're going, I'm not done with you yet."

I quickly learned that if I spoke-up for myself and asked my dad to leave me alone, that would make things even worse, with him yelling even louder and longer. So I learned to shut-up and absorb all the verbal abuse he would heap on me and wait for him to tire himself out. This approach would make dad's "brow-beating sessions" a bit shorter in duration. In a way, I think that I was conditioned to absorb tremendous amounts of psychological and verbal abuse. But sadly, the coping strategies of a 5 year-old child don't work in adulthood.

I feel like I'm rambling, and my head is spinning a bit, so I'll just leave it there for now.

James

 

[growingpains]

I had the same response as a child. When I would try to flee to my room my door was taken off the hinges and I would get beaten even more and the screaming and such as well. When under a tremendous amount of stress I come off as "flighty", just meeting people when I absolutely have to, do what I need to do, and "run" away. Otherwise, I isolate. I would guess that this is quite normal, it just is a personal question of how you as an individual react due to your history and psychological make up. It is good to ramble and get stuff out.

 

[useless]

I am more the opposite. My instinct tells me to fight but fortunately my brain has managed to stay in control and allow me to "flight", actually avoid, negative situations.

As for the comment about your dad "tire himself out" that is a good observation. Anger can be exhausting!!

 

[dust]

I am a freezer (yeah, I'm cuboid and stand in the corner) rather than a fighter or a flee-er. Recently I have been tapping into my anger more, and feel a little bit more fighty, which is very positive. Like growingpains, the way I flee is by withdrawing and not taking part, or going somewhere and then always leaving early.

dust

 

[Grama-Herc]

I think you will find the majority of the people here are the "flight" types. I know I am. I also isolate and avoid, like many others here do. If I stay home, then I don't have to deal with any stressors. It is just to hard to be so scared all the time.

 

[growingpains]

The fight types with PTSD go to bars and pick fights and the flee-ers stay in the safety of their home and log into the PTSD forum.:occasion:

 

[useless]

The fight types with PTSD go to bars and pick fights and the flee-ers stay in the safety of their home and log into the PTSD forum.:occasion:

That is not true, or funny.

 

[growingpains]

I am sorry, I was just trying to be funny. I did not mean to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings.

 

[onebravegirl]

Sometimes this topic can be a bit triggering. and when one person wants to joke, another may not.
I am sure that Growing pains was in NO way wanting to make light of this thread.
And I have to say that I am a fighter, always have been. And I did go to bars and pick fights.
Not wise.
Now I stay at home on the PTSD forum!

I think I fought for so long because I wnted to be the Justice that I thought the world lacked. I was raised to fight everything-even my school teachers.
I had no repect for authority-still have trouble with this sometimes.
It took being raped, beaten, starved and sold to help me see that if you want to pick fights and act tough, you better keep in mind that there is always going to be someone Way meaner out there, looking for someone just like yourself to put into place.
There is a time for fleeing, and there is a time for fighting, and there is a time for Surviving and a time for Healing too.
O

 

[JimmyJames902]

Thank you for your generous responses to my question -- it is much appreciated.

I certainly understand the "freeze" response; I call it, "deer-in-the-headlights." The hinges on my door were never removed, thank goodness, but my mom and dad's voices were so loud, you could hear them fighting two blocks away !! Heck, they both had voices like opera singers (basso-profundo).

Like Grama-Herc said, I have also developed a pattern of "isolate and avoid." For me too, its all about feeling SAFE (as opposed to feeling threatened or under attack). A relative in the UK invited me to visit last summer, but there was no way I could go.

I already have a sense that this forum is the right place for me, and I realize that I have alot to learn about "healing" as onebravegirl said.

James

 

[Real]

Thanks for all the responses. They are helping me put into words what my reaction was to growing up in a chaotic family with an abusive and alcoholic father. The little girl in me wanted to flee and/or freeze, but I paid no attention to her even though she cowered in the corner in my mind, terrified. But the part of me that pretended to be the grown-up and rescuer ended up in the middle of my father's abuse every night. He was physically and verbally abusive to everyone in the family, and I took it as my job to stop him. The little girl in me registered the abuse as he wanted to kill. And all I could do was shut her down so we could survive. Now she wants to be heard. And it's very painful and scary for me to allow that.

 

[onebravegirl]

Thanks for all the responses. They are helping me put into words what my reaction was to growing up in a chaotic family with an abusive and alcoholic father. The little girl in me wanted to flee and/or freeze, but I paid no attention to her even though she cowered in the corner in my mind, terrified. But the part of me that pretended to be the grown-up and rescuer ended up in the middle of my father's abuse every night. He was physically and verbally abusive to everyone in the family, and I took it as my job to stop him. The little girl in me registered the abuse as he wanted to kill. And all I could do was shut her down so we could survive. Now she wants to be heard. And it's very painful and scary for me to allow that.

You have a RIGHT to be heard. In screams and in words, in tears or wails...
What ever sound you choose to make-you have a right to have it heard.
Do not be afraid to share that here, you will not be judged but praised for the courage it takes to let all that horrible pain out.
I will listen!
O