Sufferer Fighting the feeling that I don't really belong here, is that normal?

Super new to this, so bare with. Where I am an official diagnosis will take years and costs tons. Instead, you're assessed by a psychiatric therapist and your "ptsd symptoms" treated accordingly. Had to wait a long time for the therapist, but when I evenly saw her a few weeks ago I scored very high on the assessment, so treatment started very quickly. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, to have treatment without an official diagnosis. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure how long I've had these symptoms for, because I'm not sure I was able to recognise them before, but the bulk of trauma was 7yrs ago. I know trauma is different for everyone and we shouldn't compare. I logically know that, so why the heck am I sat here in a car park thinking "you've got it easy compared to others here"?. I know its not helpful, or even completely true, yet I can't push the thought out of my mind and its so frustrating. My hopes is this can be a sounding board to offload now and then, and maybe learn a little more about these ptsd symptoms in order to understand them better. Sending love to all who feel the need to be here x
 
Thank you for replying, and I'm sorry you find yourself here, but glad you're finding the support you need from the forum and therapy. I had grief therapy for quite a while, which was very helpful, but these symptoms have becomemore apparent, stronger and more intrusive with time (particularly during lockdowns).
I was adamant when I first reached out for help that I needed to know one way or the other if i had ptsd, anxiety disorder etc etc, because 1, my anxiety over not knowing was awful, and 2, I assumed I would need a diagnosis for correct treatment. To be fair, a large part of my trauma is linked to poor medical treatment/not being taken seriously, so I wanted to ensure I was advocating for myself and that medical professionals understood why I was so adamant on correct treatment for me as an individual, not just the first thing they could suggest because it is quicker or easier. Ironically it was given incorrect information the whole time I was awaiting assessment and consistently suggested other quicker therapies. I was told I'd need to see a psychologist for diagnosis, so agreed to wait. Wasn't til I met the therapist she explained she wasn't a psychologist and there are in fact non available through the organisation at all, but I would be assessed and treated accordingly. I know I must seem like such a pain in the arse to medical professionals, and I always aim to be polite and not direct blame to anyone not associated with my trauma, but I have very little faith in medical practitioners at the moment
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, to have treatment without an official diagnosis.

that doesn't sound even the slightest ridiculous to me. when i was 18 and desperate to escape the u.s. throwaway kid camps, ptsd was still being called "shell shock" and more than 20 years from being available to child prostitutes of any country. if i had waited for the proper dx to become available, i'd probably be pimping out my own kids by now. my entrepreneurial nature made me a shoe-in for the "madam" position. i'm grateful it was possible for me to channel that entrepreneurial nature into psychotherapy rather than the traditions i was raised with.

that feeling of not belonging is a fairly standard ptsd symptom. i even feel it in support groups where everybody agrees that i'm pathetic enough to belong. lucky me? i'll add my voice to the "don't compare" choir. pain exists to let us know something is wrong. fix it without comparing.
 
Thank you all so much for your kind words. Isn't it ironic that I'm a trained befriender for a national charity offering peer support, and one of the big things we always find ourselves saying is "nothing good comes from comparison". Guess I need to listen to my own words eh 🤣🤦‍♀️. I can't lie, I still get that "your trauma isn't that bad" feeling, but I am trying! I'm trying to not be so tough on myself and remember I've survived a horrific ordeal, and that makes my feelings ad valid as anyone else's. Bloody hell this is draining!
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
I logically know that, so why the heck am I sat here in a car park thinking "you've got it easy compared to others here"?.
I think this needs to be added as a ptsd criteria because, well, we all do it! I am notorious for it, which makes my therapists nuts 😁
It's just a way to minimize what we went thru to make it easier to accept. So ya - totally normal.

Bloody hell this is draining!
Yes, yes it is!
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
one of the big things we always find ourselves saying is "nothing good comes from comparison". Guess I need to listen to my own words eh 🤣🤦‍♀️.

i am frequently embarrassed that, after 40+ years of active therapy, i am still not **cured** and still need my therapy support enough to feel targeted by the gamer style score-keeper systems such as the one they use here on this site. geez. . . i get enough of that mockery from the middle aged nintendo addicts who call me mom.

i hold that the ease with which i forget little gems, such as, "nothing good comes from comparison" as proof that i still need the reminders. i reckon that there is no cure for the common me. gamers are gonna call me mean names no matter what. it's what gamers do. they's just gaming.
 

Sadderday

New Here
Super new to this, so bare with. Where I am an official diagnosis will take years and costs tons. Instead, you're assessed by a psychiatric therapist and your "ptsd symptoms" treated accordingly. Had to wait a long time for the therapist, but when I evenly saw her a few weeks ago I scored very high on the assessment, so treatment started very quickly. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, to have treatment without an official diagnosis. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure how long I've had these symptoms for, because I'm not sure I was able to recognise them before, but the bulk of trauma was 7yrs ago. I know trauma is different for everyone and we shouldn't compare. I logically know that, so why the heck am I sat here in a car park thinking "you've got it easy compared to others here"?. I know its not helpful, or even completely true, yet I can't push the thought out of my mind and its so frustrating. My hopes is this can be a sounding board to offload now and then, and maybe learn a little more about these ptsd symptoms in order to understand them better. Sending love to all who feel the need to be here x
I'm new here too! Just a week or so. It used to anger me more than I'd like to admit when people would say other people have it worse off than I do, as if I'm supposed to take some comfort in their suffering. But now I say it to myself as pride for having endured, as in I would be so much worse off if I weren't me, as in I've come up with many ways to cope - like this site! - or I can tell you from my heart, I would not be alive today.
 
I'm new here too! Just a week or so. It used to anger me more than I'd like to admit when people would say other people have it worse off than I do, as if I'm supposed to take some comfort in their suffering. But now I say it to myself as pride for having endured, as in I would be so much worse off if I weren't me, as in I've come up with many ways to cope - like this site! - or I can tell you from my heart, I would not be alive today.
That's so very true. I don't see myself as brave at all because like so many others facing trauma, I had no choice in it all, and for quite some time I was adamant I was only surviving for my partner because I couldn't bare to leave him in this hell we've endured. But, as you quite rightly said, if I wasn't the person I am, I may well have not survived. God knows I've had times I didn't want to! I've never planned sh or done it, but know too many who have, so I am grateful that even if it is ptsd, my brain did something to protect me I guess.

I think this needs to be added as a ptsd criteria because, well, we all do it! I am notorious for it, which makes my therapists nuts 😁
It's just a way to minimize what we went thru to make it easier to accept. So ya - totally normal.


Yes, yes it is!
I guess that makes sense when we hear something truly awful we will often minimise our own sufferings. Not always helpful or truthful thinking, but normal part of humanity I guess lol
 

Friday

Moderator
Sounds ridiculous doesn't it, to have treatment without an official diagnosis.
Not ridiculous. Just a bit risky. As there are so many medical conditions that psych conditions mimic, and all psych conditions share symptoms. So the potential to waste a lot of time &/or suffer needlessly is very high.

Which you clearly know… so consider this a nod to… Yep. It’s a realistic fear. But fear is what let’s us know that something is possible. Not guaranteed by a long shot, much less the likelihood. So, personally? I’d move forward with both an open mind AND a grain of salt. PTSD may be dead on, or part of the problem, or simply share symptoms. Knowing that? Gives you a helluva lotta strength/manoeuvrability to move forward.

Welcome to the community! 🤠

I think this needs to be added as a ptsd criteria because, well, we all do it! I am notorious for it, which makes my therapists nuts 😁
It's just a way to minimize what we went thru to make it easier to accept. So ya - totally normal.
<grin> Already is! Twice, if we want to get technical. Both in the Avoidance set & Cognitive Distortions set 😎

Which is part of why it can be so difficult to manage… any time a single symptom is being fed from 2 places? Things get very tangled, very quickly.
 
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