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ED Finally coming to terms with an ed

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I appreciate the all of the text @Sietz ^_^ though of course I’m sorry you’re going through ED issues as well.

Part of what I think makes finding a healthy lifestyle with food particularly difficult is that what works for one person, works for one person. Consequently, I think when considering how to become comfortable with healthier approaches to food it's also partially about finding what kind of health works for you. What kinds of foods, how many times a day, meal prep or no meal prep, and.....! There's an element of being uncomfortable for awhile with newer, healthier habits until they become more comfortable, and then there is the flexibility to adjust those habits if they are actually uncomfortable because they do not work for you, personally. I find that to be challenging to tease apart.

ED's can be so much about comfort though? To be honest, I am at the beginning stages of understanding this. I was listening to someone speak about ED's the other day and she emphasized the idea that individuals with ED's often already spend enough time feeling "out of control," so the age old advice of relinquishing control isn't always the most effective. What can help is finding other ways to control outcomes in our lives, whether that is speaking up, whether it is saying No when you'd normally say yes, or some other situation.. it can be important to recognize (for the parts of ourselves that sometimes do still feel powerless) that we are not actually powerless. Then naturally the desire to control within the realm of food gradually abates.

I also think part of healing from ED's involves a fair amount of learning self-respect and to value oneself. If we can learn to value and respect our minds, hearts and bodies, it does become easier to choose the healthier route. We get to decide what is healthy for ourselves (within reason), and how/when we feel a workable sense of "at home" in our bodies. It's not healthy to enable oneself to develop health problems due to weight, that said I don't think hating oneself is ever helpful. What can be accomplished through a sense of duty and force can also be achieved through respect and kindness, weight/body composition changes included.

As for the self-perception and others' perceptions. Yea I think this is a whole can of worms. Without thinking too much about it, it immediately feels like my perception of others' perception feeds a sense of shame, and as does my own perception of self independent of others' perceptions. There's definitely a connection between one's own perception + others' perceptions and well-being... I don't know if there has to be?

I feel as though I've rambled, I hope some of it makes sense. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :)

Sending my support. Well done on making all of those changes! Don't forget to celebrate the small successes all along the way. You can do it.
 
It's really lovely that your T asked whether you were comfortable with the extra kg's. It is a refreshing approach in contrast to what is often propagated about "accepting your body however it is." Acceptance doesn't have to equate with stagnancy. I think I'm now beginning to understand (maybe getting it finally?) the significance of our self-perception. Is it something along the lines of, we get to decide what is comfortable for us and how we want to be perceived?

For instance, I know I feel most comfortable within myself when I'm a little bit thinner because I then feel more "graceful" which may be ridiculous, but that feeling makes me feel more at peace (I'm a wannabe dancer at heart). To have some control over how I am perceived and how I perceive myself... so that outside me can match inside me a little more is empowering? ...Some of us need more empowering experiences with our bodies.

Thanks @Sietz ... lots to contemplate. ❤
 
Is it something along the lines of, we get to decide what is comfortable for us and how we want to be perceived?
Exactly!
Some of us need more empowering experiences with our bodies.
And yes. I've been doing yoga this week, and the difference I on how I feel about myself and my body is gigantic..!

Sometimes just doing something that makes us feel good is enough.
:hug:
 
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